I have been helping a close family member with their oldest child every morning to get them off to school. This child has some behavioral issues, and I do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I am at my wit’s end. This child is in their early teens, let me tell you some of the things I am dealing with. This child jumped on my son’s bed and completely broke it, again they are a young teen! They almost broke the window out of my car because they did not want to wear their seatbelt. Today they peed on my couch in their sleep, which was an accident. But they didn’t tell me and got in my brand new car and soaked the seat. Since I didn’t know the smell set all day while I worked, now I have to scrub urine out of my things. I am a single mother that works full time and goes to school full time. I do not need added stress; the child’s parents did not offer to replace the bed or anything but a sorry. How do I deal with this without hurting anyone’s feelings, but not feel like I’m getting walked all over? They really have no other option but myself to get the child to school; they are not allowed to be where their siblings stay because of behavior. Thanks in advance for any helpful advice!
Not your problem. It’s too much for you and daily stress that you don’t need as a single parent. His parents need to get him behavioral health and special needs treatment, you have already been a great help and it’s ok to end things here. Your mental health is important.
It sounds to me that this is his way of asking for help you need to let him her know what unconditional love is no matter what you do I love you and reword the great things that the child does young teens are at a hard stage to yung for this and to old for that and from sounds of it abandoned not loved and rejected give them the love and let them know you are their for them but you also need to let them know this is unexpected behaviour make them clean their own mess and no water or drinks after 6pm as far as getting smell out use a half vinegar and water and a 1tsp of backing soda if the disstroy something they will have to do chores to pay to replace it make a chart and have stuff that they like listed reword the good behavior but most of all let them now I love more when you are good but I still love you when you are bad and I am not going anywhere I and i will always be hear for you lots of hugs and kiss and tell them you love them 4 times or more a day tell them how important they are to you God bless you and ask God how to show you how to reach out to him or her they are crying for help the only way they know how
I understand you situation. Tbh I would be honest an say your not happy with the !mornings an I’d say that it’s not working out for there son either , he’s not happy an then run for the hills😉I hope this gets sorted out . Take care xx
You have to hurt someone’s feeling in a situation like this sit and have a conversation with the parents you can do everything right by those kids but there still gonna go home and act like wild children they are crying out because of somthing if your going to continue on your gonna need the parents
Please dont give up on this child he did not ask for the parents he has this is him crying for help and needs you yes it is hard yes probably needs Dr help but he needs to now no matter you love him unconditionally as God loves us and never gives up on us show that love to him ask for Gods strength to help him all things are possible
You are a great friend! You tried! Now you know what his parents are dealing with. They probably thought he would be respectful in another person’s home. You need to sit down with the parents of this boy and be honest. He needs help! I know it is hard to confront but it needs to be done. I would say that I really wanted to help you out but unfortunately this hasn’t worked out. Explain his behavior at your house. A notice is not needed. You need to take care of you and your children. Best of Luck
I empathize. My Eldest 2 have behaviors - we use our words and fair discipline. Reminders. And i ignore little stuff. I have a small reward system. - she makes no difference - its all about their mentality - maybe he needs a healthy outlet? Im looking into boxing or something for my son - hang in there - good luck!
Sorry. I don’t mean to be inconsiderate. It sounds to me they belong to a rehab for incorrigible children/kids. There’s a major issue to address. Perhaps, a medical intervention is very much necessary before they do something devastating to you or your kids or to your personal property. Turn them in asap.
It’s not your kids it’s nice of you to help especially as a single mom in full time school but if they can’t even be around their own siblings because of their behavior why have them around yours maybe give them a two week maybe even 30 day notice at the most to try to find another person or atleast ask them if you are to continue helping them they replace the things he broke and peed on because you are a single mother and can’t afford them on your own and after all it is their son who broke and peed on it if if happen in their home I’m sure they’d replace it .
I make it a point to say that their child did xyz and that I’ll be requiring some help before they can come back to my home.
Saying sorry doesn’t cut it with me. And I have 2 kids.
Wow that’s horrible. Definitely get a mattress protector. And the parents should be understanding and ready to hear criticism if they know they have a misbehaved teen. Especially if they are having someone else be responsible for their child. I would be concerned that my child would pick stuff up from this teen. Most little kids look up to older children. I would definitely give notice and respectfully tell them that you cannot be responsible anymore. You have to much on your plate and theres a chance your child could pick up this behavior
I’m going to say this and I don’t want it to come out to harsh. But if those boys parents don’t get them some kind of help they could, no probability will end up in prison when they are older. My grandson has some behavioral issues and he has to see a child psychologist. When he was younger he was a lot worse but he has calmed down some. He has bed wetting issues so we get him goodnight underwear to wear to bed. But I will also say that if he’s a problem at home he might start being a problem with your child and they might end up hurting one of them.
If he is behaving this way for you, then his parents are already FULLY aware that he had behavior issues. What shocks me is that they aren’t at all concerned with how he is treating your belongings or you. You are not obligated to continue helping them. I would simply tell his parents “I love you and I love him, but I am not in a position right now where I can add the extra stress of some of the damage he’s caused.”
Ok this child needs special placement. If their child damaged it they replace it your car needs to be detailed to take care of problem seat give them the bill. You need to tell them make other arrangement. Its going to get worse not better.
The parents need to look at their own behavior most likely. Or try to find where their teen is picking up this kind of behavior and thinking that it’s ok. My mom woulda whooped my ass hella hard with the belt if I was acting like this. My older brother and I were spanked even as older teens. Straightened us out quick.
I would give them until the end of week to find someone else because you can not afford to have your things or sanity broken.
Time to stop babysitting. Not worth the stress and ruining your things is totally unacceptable. I would just tell them it’s not working out.
I had similar issue, watched a 8 yr old boy ( complete brat) and he peed on my couch while napping (huge spot) and parents didnt even say sorry! Then a girl I watch now peed her pants and sat on my couch (the same couch) only got a sorry. So now finally we are going to try n buy a new couch with taxes
Um don’t do it. Obviously this child needs some kind of help so it’s up to the parents and putting the responsibility off on u is unfair and downright ridiculous. Guess they’ll have to figure it out themselves