The girl we took in has a husband who will not let us see her kids: Advice?

I have never posted on here, but I do read a lot of the posts. I need some advice. Seven years ago, we took a girl and her baby in. While living with us, she has another baby. The kids are 7 and 5 now. They both have lived with us their whole life. Their biological grandparents on both sides have never had anything to do with them. They call us Nana and Papa. Well, a couple of months ago, she meets this guy online and starts dating him. She only really saw him like three times. Well the beginning of November, they sneak off to the courthouse and get married. They really don’t know each other, and the kids don’t even really know him. She is an adult, and I know this. He is very controlling and doesn’t let the kids do anything. He doesn’t want us to know where they live, which is whatever. My problem is that he has put a stop to me seeing and talking to the kids. It is killing me inside. I think and love the kids as if they were my biological grandkids. My question is, would you just let it go and try not to see them or do whatever you can to see them? They stayed talking to us up until the day after Christmas and then haven’t heard anything from her. He wrote to me and said that he wants nothing to do with us because we asked her if we could keep the kids over the weekend, and he doesn’t want them to. Sorry, this is so long. Please give me advice on what to do. Please post anonymously.


It sounds like she’s maybe stuck in a bad situation. I’d call for a walfare check. They’lbe able to track their location


That sounds weird… Am i the only one getting a Forensic Files vibe off of this???

Definitely try to find her and talk to her…


Or do what amber said and get a welfare check done!


Unfortunately you have no rights to the kids and there is nothing that can be done. If you feel the kids are in danger you can try to call dhs but they will not automatically put those kids in your care if they do take them.

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Welfare check 100%%% doesn’t sound good


She put herself and her children in a bad position. Unfortunately outside of a welfare check theres nothing you can do.


Definitely have a welfare check done. That sounds like the beginning of every real crime documentary I have ever seen


Welfare check ASAP :flushed::sob: this gives me ALL the wrong feels oh my gosh. This is an anonymous Facebook post and it has me sick to my stomach !


I would have someone check up on them. He might be telling her no and she could be scared.

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It sounds like she’s stuck, and dosen’t know what to do.
Like it or not unless she reaches out to you, I would leave be. Outside of a welfare check i don’t see a path forward in this situation, but you can only do that so much.


Sounds like an abusive situation. Use the number she contacted u from and have her tracked down. Check out the situation and make a decision about what to do. If u feel they are in danger do what u need to do. If they are legitimate happy then walk away. Prepare for the worst hope for the best. Shes an adult. Not a smart one obviously but an adult just the same.


Sounds like the only thing to be able to do, is a welfare check on them. It’s out of your control.

This would scare me so much…

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I would stop pushing to see the children so you can at least stay in contact with her. I would be worried about her and the kids safety. There is a reason he doesn’t want the kids to see you… they have no filter and will say what’s going on.


I would back up a little, but still keep in touch with mom. Maybe a quick phone call . Hi how are you and the kids?? Do you need anything??We miss you call if you need anything


I agree with everyone else. Soooo many red flags.


Unfortunately, there’s nothing that you can do. He sounds controlling yes. Possibly abusive in more ways. It could be a dangerous situation. Maybe call for a welfare check, but hard to do if you don’t know where they live. That, can also push her further away. The most you can do, is be there. When she needs you. That may have to be silently. Until she’s ready to leave, and reach out. But, at some point, she will need you.


Unfortunately you have to hang tough until he starts to beat her and she will be calling you back

This sounds like she put everyone in a bad situation. I would just call and check on her and the kids. He sounds way to controlling who knows what he is doing to them just doesn’t sound right