Thoughts about this situation?

Question: I have two daughters from my first marriage; my husband (their father) passed away when they were small, and I’ve since become involved with another man. We’ve been together nearly five years now and have a three-month-old daughter together. My question is not with the holidays my late husband’s family keep wanting to know, “what would the girls like for Christmas” they don’t specify if they include my baby or not, and I’m afraid to assume. I feel if I were the one asking someone in my situation, I would include the new baby, but I just don’t know. Thoughts?


I would give them ideas for the others and then jokingly say what the new baby could use and see what they say. Or just tell them for the older two and see if they ask about the baby.


I’d like to think so too but people can be strange.
Could you just be honest & ask them?


Ask them. Or just give ideas for all the kids. I would think that they would see the new baby as your girls sibling and include her as well.

It would be a nice gesture if they included the baby but they shouldn’t be obligated to include the baby.


I would simply ask and if they don’t want to get the new baby something then oh well it’s not going to hurt anything to ask a question that any other mother would be curious about

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Well I understand why you feel like they should include the new baby. However that new baby is not their family


I wouldn’t assume that they included the new baby when asking. And I personally wouldn’t be upset if they didn’t. I feel like since the father has passed this is a way for the girls to feel the love from their family. Luckily the baby is too young to know the difference and hopefully in the future this won’t be a concern.
Just to clarify, I would include the baby because I can never exclude a child from something like a present. I’m just not in their position seeing it from their eyes.


Your husband’s family knows of your new relationship or not?

You could always: “I don’t want to assume. Did you mean just ____ and ____ or all three of my daughters?”


I don’t think it’s fair to assume or expect that they would but it defiantly would be a kind gesture.


I’d just say the first 2 and if they want to know the baby also the would ask and what about the baby? :woman_shrugging:


I would just say what the older two would like


I wouldn’t assume they’re going to give a gift to your infant because it’s technically not their family. However I would include a gift for the infant in the list of suggestions bc realistically you set the bar. And it’ll probably hurt your youngest child’s feelings when it’s old enough to realize her siblings are getting gifts from them and she’s not.

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I would just include your older 2 first, then see if they ask about your baby too after that. Make it less awkward. Lol


I wouldn’t assume they’re including the new baby, the new baby isn’t part of their blood family. That baby wasn’t fathered by their side of the family. It would just be your two daughters.


Probably just their grandchildren if I have to guess. I have no idea though. Maybe ask them nicely?

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I just give them the two and then I always get a message asking for the other grand baby, even though it isn’t her she claims him too

Dont assume just ask if it’s for both or all 3

I would just ask they will understand

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Just say what the older 2 want…if they care to include the 3 month old they’ll specify. What could a 3 month old WANT Anyway lol?! Its not like she’ll feel left out…