Tips on parenting a child with ADHD?

Does anyone know how to successfully parent a child who has ADHD? My 7-year-old has the attention span of an infant; she never stops or slows down even for a second. She does not listen to anything. She is a free-spirited little girl, definitely just like mommy as a child. My husband is old fashioned; he doesn’t believe in medicating a child for being too hyper. In a lot of ways, I completely agree, but we’ve tried absolutely everything. She doesn’t respond to spanking, talking it out, time-out, or getting things taken away. The thing is, I’m not completely sure it’s ADHD or just plain disrespectful. At school, she is the best kid ever. Straight A’s and never had any bad conduct marks. Home, she is an angry little brat who never does what she’s told and likes to challenge mom at every turn. My sister can get her to eat at her house; I can’t even get her to do that. I don’t know what else I can do. Redirecting worked for a little while, but she caught on and stopped responding to that as well. They had a fall break this week, and damned near drove me insane. Being a mom is my number one priority. Nothing else means very much to me. If I never accomplish anything else in this world, I’ll be just fine with that, as all I ever wanted was to be a mom. But lately, I just want to leave my own house to get away from the fighting between her and her nine year old sister, the constant tantrums, and complete and utter disrespect. We’ve been having a huge issue with her touching people in places she shouldn’t. She’s been grounded numerous times before for this, but she just won’t stop. Before you suggest someone has done this to her, I’m the only one ever alone with her, and we’ve had the talk many times, so I know this isn’t it. I guess I’m just looking for some advice or suggestions I haven’t tried that might help. She says if we turn our basement into detention like school, she will listen. She obviously knows what she’s doing. How do I teach her to care?

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well first step is getting a proper diagnosis rather than just assuming she has ADHD there are a lot of other conditions which also make ADHD.

go to the doctor but I agree with your husband don’t put her on medication

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Have u tried maybe going to a doctor for advice they maybe able to advise you on this am from the uk and usually if parents think that their children have adhd there is a pathway to follow x

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You could always do what every other failing parent does and throw them onto a crap ton of useless and dangerous drugs

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Doesn’t sound like adhd to me. Sounds like she doesn’t respect you.

Get an official diagnoses from a doctor in case it’s not adhd

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She clearly doesnt have ADHD if she is good at school and listens to ur sister. It is definitely something else… I would try consuling. Does she listen to ur husband? If sounds like shes mad at something in the house.

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Sounds more like oppositional defiant behaviour disorder

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I would think that if she truly does have adhd, her behavior would definitely follow her to school. Someone with adhd can’t just turn it off. I agree with what someone else has said about it not being adhd, but that she doesn’t respect you.

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I would definitely go get her evaluated, there’s many things that present as ADHD but aren’t. Bipolar for example. They have very similar symptoms.

Not sure on ADHD she is not having issues at school. What worked for one of my children ( I have 6). Was sports and on off days yard work. He is now 18, and since he was 16 will clean and rearrange his room or any part of the house on his own. You have to make a stand somewhere. Since she is younger I would start with a sport. Then add in additional chores if continues to be disrespectful. But you have to stay consistent or it will not work.

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My daughter is the same way and she is just a little diva brat

My sons dad was so against medication. We tried everything else n eventually I finally put my foot down n got him on medication. It was life changing for all of us. Once he saw the change in my son he was all on board.
What people need to understand is it’s such a struggle for the child to constantly being in trouble and constantly struggling. It’s exhausting for them (and you). Medication made everything less of a war for him. From his morning routine to being a better soccer player. My only regret is not doing it sooner.

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If it were adhd she would not be able to listen or do work at school…at least my daughter can’t, she cant focus long enough to do school work.

It sort of sounds like disrespect at home…or maybe some sort of oppositional defiant disorder…not sure. If you think something like that may be happening then she needs to be assessed properly.

In the mean time just do your best. If I take video games and tv from my child as punishment shr will straighten up…but then in trouble again. They are kids.

Girl, good luck. I wish I could be one of those moms that have all the answers. I have 3 adhd kiddos and let me tell you it’s like having 15. And we dont do pharmaceuticals. CBD oil helps. Cutting sugar helps. But mostly just lace up and go. Dont forget to make some you time. I know that sounds crazy but you need to calm yourself before you can help calm anyone else. Best of luck!!

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Just because she isn’t having issues at school doesn’t mean it’s not ADHD. I have an eight year old daughter who was diagnosed in January with ADHD and ODD. She is absolutely terrible at home but is a saint in school. Just like you. We spank. Take things away. Do time out. Everything. Nothing seems to work here either. I was all about putting her on medication but the doc didn’t want to do. She is non stop. Doesn’t relax. Nothing. The minute she walks in the door from school. I’m counting down the minutes until bed time because I too go crazy.

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My son is the same…great at school and a terror at home. I just cherish the good times…and hope he’ll grow out of it. I’m happy hes good for other people…I guess home is his safe place to let it all out😫

Counseling, counseling, counseling! I’d say you’re probably right, it’s not ADHD if she’s fine in school and with others. She’s still young, so she’s not at an age where behavior correction isn’t possible. Do you allow her to get away with things others might not? I’m not asking this as a way to place blame, as that was a lot of my issue with my oldest boy. lol. An absolutely joy he was, around others. At home, I often wanted to staple his mouth shut and his body to the wall. I’m what I call a ‘lazy parent’. Empty threats, when he was little and giving in when he’d complain long enough, etc. I realized it was a huge issue when he was around 5/6. Counseling helped, but I won’t lie… it has been rough. He’s 16 now and soooo much better!!! Hang in there and I strongly encourage you get her into counseling. Mental health is truly as important as physical health. <3

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My child has severe anxiety and was misdiagnosed for years with ADHD. Once you truly know what it is is when you start being able to truly resolve and help. My son also has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). My son absolutely hates being alone, so sitting in his room by himself was one of his ultimate punishments. Loosing the things she loves most would eventually be effective. Let her be hungry if she doesn’t eat, without giving in if she flat out refuses to eat (I’d make sure you are trying to early though, maybe adjust dinner to a later time).

Try therapy my son was the same and I took him to art therapy and it’s helped so much like he’s a different child

My 9 yr old son is adhd and the way it sounds she could just be add which isn’t as bad but for you to correct her you have to get at eye level with her and let her explain to you why she is in trouble. Don’t give her any red food dye it only triggers it. Don’t give her peanut butter give her nutella instead. For the attention span make sure she’s not getting bored. Only let her do something for a few minutes and redirect her to something else. My son gets bored of playing his iPad after 10mins. I also don’t give my child medication either. I actually give my child coffee or something with caffeine in it. That’s another way to see if she is actually adhd/add. Caffeine will do an opposite effect on a child that is. If she’s not she will be wide open.