I am currently 29 weeks pregnant. I have a three-year-old and one year old at home. My husband and I have just recently decided to divorce. (Not a bitter divorce) As the words came out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back. I feel like we could work out our issues and get our marriage back, but he doesn’t want to try. He initially agreed to therapy but in the same breath, says that nothing will change his mind. I have decided to accept that the ending of our relationship is what he wants, and I cannot change his mind. But I feel so guilty about our son being born into a broken marriage, and our daughters losing the much-needed bonding time with their father. We are both active duty military, so eventually, we will live far apart. I would never intentionally keep them away from him, but moving around is our way of life. Any advice from single moms that are raising their kids without the father figure nearby?
Depending on your ranks and MOS as well as openings you can always request reassignments to remain close.
Phone calls dad has kids on holidays ECT letters ect
My daughter n her son video chat me on messenger every day because we live far apart. It’s the only way my grandson will know me when we actually do get to see each other in person.
It’s better , as you call it, a broken marriage then to watch both his parents sad & miserable
My children’s father and i live far a part. He gets them every other major holiday and part of the summer. We video chat so the kids can see him and talk with him. It’s not often as we work different shifts and different days off but we make it work. Some things are challenging but I manage. I juggle two jobs and two kids on top of home life but I wouldn’t want it any other way. The kids are happy and healthy and that is all that matters to me.
As far as your little ones, TELL Him to Explain WHY you’re separated, He’s the one who decided that! It’s His RESPONSIBILITY;!!! To explain!!! Hello!!! You’re welcome!
Give him the kids. Why do you gotta be a single mother? He can be a single father
I raised my first born from birth to age 6 with zero contact with any sort of father figure, I was 100% single, didnt even date. It’s difficult. It’s just you and your kid, but it’s worth you putting 100% into your relationship with them. Your bond will be amazing, and they will love you so much. Sometimes it sucks cause it’s so hard, but they’re worth it.
Just love them , all you can do as a mother is love them .
Be civil and things will work out on it’s own. Stay on the same page with your child’s father. Do not dictate or control the other person’s way of parenting as long as the child is healthy, happy and safe.
My 9 year old’s father lives 15 hrs away. He flies to pick up my son and also has him over the summer. This year my son has stayed for the school year to spend time with his dad.
Everything works out well if you just don’t get in one another’s way of raising the child.
First, just for you, if you still want to give it a shot, I would try sitting him down and explaining that you still love him and want to give it one more shot for the kids, amd pease go to therapy. If he says no, than at least you tried. But as far as livong far apart, its gonna be brutal. Your gonna have to miss out on things, and he will have to miss out on things. The best thing you can do for your kods is make sure and leave all forms of communication open and be willing to make the trios and go out of your way to make sure he still has quality time with them. It sucks. But you are a strong woman, you got this… Also, thank you for your sacrafice.
Why do you automatically get primary custody of the kids? While you live close, do 50/50 custody (except the baby if you are breastfeeding). One week with you, one with him. Or split the week up. When you live farther apart, one child with you, one with him or something. But make it as close to equal and fair as possible. Just because your marriage didn’t work out doesn’t mean he will be a bad parent and doesn’t automatically mean you are better for the kids than him. Work out custody equally. Both parents are important.
Well the only thing I can say is much sure you drop them off at his house as often and as long as you can. Once you give him a break, he’ll want to go on vacation .
My ex was navy though I wasn’t military. He was over seas a month here 3 weeks here 2 weeks there…the 5 years we were married we estimated he had been home a total of just over a year. Might as well have been a single parent. But I digress…he moved to Texas i moved back home to WI. We would meet half way. It was easiest for us. Now cross country travel say from cali to florida… I’d of probably waited til they were older to fly alone or I’d schedule my vacation around it and fly with them drop them off and enjoy me some free time! anyways, as some stated the military can work with you on trying to keep yall stationed in the same area. I’ve seen it happen with married and divorced servicemen/women. They requested it and it’s what worked for them. There’s always a way when there is a will. Just have to make sure you’re both willing. Good luck hun and sorry about the divorce. It was rough on our kids moving around all the time as adults they have a hard time staying in one place for long…as do I being a marine brat, but they finally found a place to settle down! It’s hard being military but so rewarding or at least for us it was! I love to travel too this day as do my children
Are you sure they won’t move you together for the kids? I mean they do it for marriage worth looking into I say
Be strong and be happy. Lots of babies grow to be joyful successful people from one parent households. ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.
Just be civil at all costs
Children are resilient and your children are young. They’ll be fine. Just love them and take good care of them. They are growing up military so they’ll eventually understand the dynamics. Hopefully, he’ll stay an active part of their lives whether its by phone, text or Skype. Things will work out for the best. Hang in there sis.
I had a 4 yr.old, 2 yr.old and newborn by husband when we separated and eventually divorced. My marriage was horrible. Thank goodness, he was moving to Virginia with his job. He wanted me to go, the relationship was over. The only real difference between you and I is that he didn’t want a divorce. I did !! Life goes go, children adapt and it’ll get easier.
I’m sorry for your broken home don’t beat yourself up for having struggles realize you are special to take time to breathe and take care of yourself you will need it if you yourself and those children love will find a way