*Trigger warning* I just found out today my baby has no heartbeat: Advice?

I found out today at ten weeks that there is no heartbeat, and the baby didn’t grow up since last week. I’m heartbroken. I cry I stop; I watch tv, do housework, I say I will be strong because I have a four-year-old and then I cry. It’s like I want to make the D&C asap so I could heal. We were planning to go next week to visit my sibling, and I still want to go, maybe it will help. Is it weird? Is it weird that I’m confused? No one knew about my pregnancy, and I don’t want to tell anyone about this. I don’t want to make my family sad. Talking with my mom will help, but she’s in another country, and sensitive, I hate to make her sad. My husband is crying more than me. I don’t know how I should feel.


It doesn’t matter if you have told anyone or how many weeks. You have lost your child and you need time to grieve that loss.


All of those feelings are normal and it’s okay to tell your family. They can be your support group.


It is very sad but if talking to someone would help, then talk to them. I understand not wanting to make your mom sad but moms are there to help you through the hard times. Call her.


I’m so sorry to hear. My thoughts are with you and your husband

Honestly anyway you need to feel is exactly how you should feel…of course you feel confused amidst all that 2020 has thrown at you as a human being you have lost a life an regardless if telling or not it is yours and your husband’s grief to work out and through not theirs but please take it from another mother who has grown children your mother will keep your secret she will help validate how you feel n gently urge your healing …being sàd is a part of life but feeling like you weren’t good enough to be considered helpful and comforting is heartbreaking the choice of course us still yours to make I wish you love light and recovery for you and your family and if the Dr says you can go by all means do visit family and let them love you .

They should have done that when they saw no heartbeat. That’s just wrong to put you thrue. I am so sorry. Praying for you. Happen to me three times. I understand your heart ache. So sorry

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You go to your siblings and tell them grieve your heart. :pray::hugs:

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U need to talk to someone

Feel your feelings honey and let your friends be there for you god be with you

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Talk to someone and let your feelings come out. But most importantly talk about your baby… take all the time to grieve. There are alot of miscarriage/grieving groups on Facebook and Instagram… it’s a long process. I’m sorry for your loss. If you need someone to talk I’m here .

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Get it done and over with asap so you can move on

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I’m very, very sorry for your loss. Handle it however makes you feel best.

It takes time. It will get easier but the pain will always be there. A few months after my miscarriage I was blessed with twins. Take your time and grieve let it out don’t hold it in.

Ok so I was told mine didn’t have a heartbeat and I was devastated. I couldn’t afford a D&C so I went to Planned Parenthood and when they got me back in a room, they found a heartbeat. Please get a second opinion, I’m glad I did.


You can give your body time to try to pass it naturally rather than having an invasive procedure. The wait is hard tho, I carried mine for 2 weeks after he (in my mind it was a boy) passed.

Man it’s awful going through this I was about the same gestation when I lost my baby too just a horrible feeling so many emotions happening at once !! I really prayer for her :heart::pray:

That happened to me. Its normal. It will get better. Its been 13 yrs for me and i rarely think about it. I had a DNC. Couldnt find a heart beat on a fetal monitor or an ultra sound

I just went through this at 10 weeks, we had booked a trip to my fiancées hometown prior to my miscarriage and it was a week before my sons birthday along with Mother’s Day :purple_heart: I opted to try the pills instead of D&C (mistake IMO) and tried to push through with my sons party I had planned (thinking back I shouldn’t have I was a mess) I was concerned about going out of town but was very glad I went it was so nice to be around family. I didn’t tell anyone about the pregnancy and still they didn’t know after the loss, but being around them helped me. I feel like I was confused for awhile with how i felt and if it was “right” i felt bad for feeling so emotional and honestly just sad. I found myself literally just shutting a door and breaking down, sometimes I was mad and thought it may have been me, and sometimes it hurt so deep that I felt like it was going to break me. It was a rollercoaster girl, but I came to the conclusion that there’s isn’t a “right” way to grieve and I handled it the way I needed to. Hugs to you and I’m so very sorry for your loss. :purple_heart:

Get it done so you can heal