** TRIGGER WARNING** My husband and I got into a fight and I was told to file a restraining order: Advice?

I’ve been married for four years, and it’s been a toxic relationship, and we have a two-year-old son. A few nights ago, we got into a fight, and it became physical, and he was threatening to kill all my family members and me. The fight started because I came home from work and my son was on the toilet because my husband was trying to get him to go to the bathroom and my son was on the toilet for a couple of minutes just crying, and I said to my husband maybe he doesn’t need to poop. My husband got mad at me for this, and I yelled at him, and that pissed him off, and when I went to get my son of the toilet, he shoved me out of the way with his shoulder. I took my son after that and put him in our bedroom with the tv on and shut the door, and went into the living room to talk to my husband. He was angry and not listening to what I was trying to say, so I have up and went into our room, and he followed me in and started yelling at me in front of our son. I tried to push him out of the room, and he pushed me back, and I slapped him in the face, and then he kicked me in the legs. After that, I took my son to my brothers to have dinner with him and my family. I came back home after dinner, and my husband was clearly drunk and I tried to ignore him. I went into our room to get away from him, and he started yelling and banging on the bedroom door. I was on the phone with my mom and he came into the room and took the phone away from me and started yelling at my mother and was threatening to kill my family. I tried to get my phone back but he wouldn’t give it back. I tried to get away from him and he shoved me against the wall and was yelling in my face trying to provoke me to slap him again and saying that he would kill me and he put his hand around my throat. He finally left me alone and I called my dad to come over because I wanted to leave with my son but I was afraid he wouldn’t let me. My dad came over and my husband left and I called the cops and filed a report. Because I didn’t show them the bruise on my leg they didn’t arrest him but the police and DCF think I should file a restraining order. My husband is now in the VA hospital because he checked himself in that night and his mother convinced him to go stay with her so I can stay at our apartment. He’s going to be going to anger management every week and AA. I don’t know what I should do. I feel hesitant about filing a restraining order. He’s never once laid a hand on our son and I don’t want to keep him away from his son forever. I also don’t want my son to be in danger but I’m not sure that he would ever do anything to our son. I told his mom that the police think I should file a restraining order and she got mad at me and said it would make things worse. I need advice on what to do. Should I file a restraining order?


You never know. Go to a shelter.

File the restraining order. File for divorce. Thats not okay. Dont let your son grow up thinking its okay.


This man threatened you and your family got physical with you in front of the child I say leave and file for divorce bc it only gets worse


I think since he has taken steps to help himself so soon and went to the hospital the same night maybe give him a chance.


Wow deff yea get the hell out of that situation!!! That only gets worse not better. He sounds like a real angry arsehole. To do that Infront of your boy he doesn’t care now and that will get worse if he’s prepared to hurt you Infront of him nothing will stop him

File a restraining order, won’t keep him from his son just you. There are access centers if you go through the courts if you can’t trust him with your son. Or third party drop offs and pick ups. File for custody if you haven’t. It will only become more toxic and get worse. (Know someone this happened to). It’s time for separation and maybe counselling much later if you want to work it out or a quits altogether and file for divorce.

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Well youre both in the wrong and both assaulted each other. Sounds like maybe you both need therapy.


If DCF is involved, they are going to be looking at you to make sure you have a plan in place to keep him (your son) safe. If you do not, and another incident occurs, they could charge you with failure to protect.


He is probably going threw a lot in his own mind . He needs help for sure .


Yes I think you should. Your number one priority is to protract your son. Your son deserves a home where he can feel safe.


If you hit him back in anyway shape or form then no I would not file one because the truth always comes to light. But regardless this type of behavior is not OK so if you guys are toxic to each other then you definitely have your answer


File restarting order and emergency custody and let the courts or DSS set up supervised visits until your husband is evaluated and in treatment

Yes get the hell away from him as it will only worsen file for a restraining order and set some safe boundaries for u and your family good luck


No you shouldn’t because you’re just as guilty. I think you need anger management as well


Sounds like you should file.
Husband or not hitting or shoving a women is still abuse.

Restraining orders aren’t permanent. You need to protect your son and yourself. In time things maybe different, but right now the violence and threats are real.

Maybe some time apart and meet in the park or public places until you stort things out and it’s safe again

Yes file the restraining order. Just because you have it that doesn’t mean he can’t see his son. Maybe he will get his life on track, maybe not. But right now things are not good and you need to protect yourself and your son.

If he did it once he’ll do it again and worse

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