Before I start, I have Bipolar Manic Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. When I was 16, I was kidnapped and sexually assaulted and beaten. I am essentially a big anxiety-riddled mess ball and have been since then. I take medication for the BMDD, but my anxiety runs with everything. I’m constantly anxious, so holding down a typical retail job is something I’ve never done. I’ve always had labor jobs. Jobs I use my hands for and don’t communicate with a lot of people daily. My anxiety makes me feel like my body is constantly stuck in flight mode. Over the years, it damaged my heart, and I’m pretty underweight. That’s how severe it is. Tried everything for it—even CBD. Nothing works to relieve it. Anyways, when I got married and had kids (they’re 1 and 2), I just fell into the SAHM position. My husband makes about $65k a year so, we aren’t struggling, but my husband spends money like its on fire so, sometimes we do struggle. I mean, he never comes to me first before he buys something expensive (like, when he dropped $600 on a tattoo and didn’t tell me). I don’t know what he spends. I know that he doesn’t want to be the sole provider. I know that he doesn’t understand how much work goes into being a SAHM. I know there are things he wants to buy, but can’t. It’s a constant fight, and I get it. I don’t like not having my own money. I don’t like that he supports us on his own. I’ve always been a hard worker who worked for what she wanted or needed. It makes me feel worthless and useless. At the same time, I’m holding this house together. My kids, husband, and dogs are like wrecking balls. They’re disgusting. Nothing gets done unless I do it. I sleep 3 hours a night if that (my anxiety causes insomnia). I know that I’m already running on empty, and a job would be financially great, but I worry I won’t be able to handle it. I don’t know what to do to make this situation better. It’s a constant fight. My husband is ruthless with the insults, and I’m sick of it. Any advice?
*Trigger Warning* My husband is pressuring me to start working, but I worry about handling the stress: Advice?
U won’t Kno unless u try. Quit worrying about if u can handle it and juz try. That’s it that’s all.
My heart goes out to you I have no good advice
I’d start with a therapist, they usually have alot of resources to help get you started and work through what the meds can’t help with. Speaking from experience
Labor jobs work better for me as well, but it has definitely taken its toll on me.
I’m sorry you are going thru a whole mess…you may need to apply for disability with all the issues you are going thru and give yourself some time for counseling. You need to have a serious talk with your husband…I’m sure he doesn’t realize how much childcare will cost if you work too.
Have you tried something like home health care provider. I do it and all I do is go to someone’s home maybe cook a few meals and clean up little bit. Most of the time people just don’t want to be alone the elders I make my own hours and if you need a break take one. Good luck
Are you on disability for your issues? If not I would recommend applying then you’d have your own money while still being a SAHM.
Trying working a few hours a day a couple times a week and if you can’t do it then don’t. You should qualify for disability. Plus with the cost of childcare your whole check would go to paying someone to care for them. It’s not worth it.
Maybe try staying home and watching one child and see how that goes along with your two. That’s what I did. I did enter the workforce again probably six years ago but I stayed home for nine years
Sorry, he sounds like a dick. I get it if his concerns were really about you guys needing the money. But it sounds more like he wants to spend money on whatever he wants and wants you to make up the difference.
Health before weath.
Husband’s don’t understand shit, instead of helping he is part of the problem, spending money on stupid shit like a selfish greedy piece of work.
Do you currently see a therapist, do yoga or take any kind of medication for your conditions? I’d start with therapy (step 1). Do you or hubby have any idea how expensive daycare is for 2 kids? Price it (steps 2). After pricing it discuss & re-evaluate. He’s also gonna have to pitch in with helping. Wishing you all the best.
Maybe start out part time slow paced like goodwill ? They hire disabled n people that have different things in life that can’t work in fast pace stress! There’s lot of part time things hire people with slow abilities or bi polar n medical issues , don’t say never n don’t give up on trying it may help you a few hours a week to better yourself in physical mental emotional ways?
EMDR -is amazing for trauma - find a good therapist that specializes in trauma healing. Meditation helps with anxiety . Prayers
I suffer from major depression and anxiety. I was of work for about 5 years. When I went back to work I found a whole new world. My confidence level went up, I have my own money, I have more energy and I dont have as much depression and anxiety. Dont underestimate yourself you may find empowerment and an outlet.you will meet new people and experiance new things. Think about it some more it may help you mentally.
Find a work from home job you can do. A friend of mine started making bath bombs in her kitchen and selling locally and now her products are being sold in local boutiques and she ships all over the US. You could make candles or sugar scrub. There’s lots of possibilities. Good luck.
Have you looked into furthering your education? You have to focus on bettering yourself so you can take care of your children and yourself. I know because it happened to me. Getting a degree was the best thing I ever did for myself and my daughter.
I’m so sorry for what you went through and the stress you are dealing with now. It sounds to me like you need sleep! Your brain and body can’t reset if it is exhausted all the time. I believe you can go back to work, but you need to first or simultaneously invest in yourself and working through your trauma. Therapy, counseling, neurofeedback, meditation, yoga… find what works for you. By working on yourself you will find a way to make a better life for your family. Love & Light
I went through a rape and abusive relationships and seen things when I was a child that I shouldn’t have. One day my G.A.D. Just showed its ugly face put of nowhere and I spent countless days and night in the e.r with panic and anxiety attacks. Finally went to a therapist and spent 5 years there. I couldn’t hold a job, had kids and a husband that worked but sometimes made it difficult to ba SAHM. finally after 13 years I divorced, told myself my anxiety, depression, bipolar was no longer in charger and I wanted to live and make a life for me and my kids. I got my G.E.D went to collage and am now a juvenile correction officer. I was someone who couldn’t go to the grocery store without ending up in an ambulance because of my panic disorder. But therapy helped me with coping skills and the fact that I just wanted to live life for my kids and be happy. I struggle some days but I talk myself through it. Talk your mind down when u feel it coming on and try to focus on positive things. If u need to talk feel free to inbox me.