*Trigger warning: Sexual abuse* Advice on getting my child back?

Hi there, is there such thing as winning your child back. My son is 11. I was in an abusive, toxic relationship with his dad till he was 8. I decided enough was enough I walked away. Never looked back on the best decision ever. Shortly after the breakup, my son was molested by his father’s stepson for months, and his father and his new wife knew and hid it from me till something told my heart to check on my son and ask him questions one day I did and all hell broke loose. A mother’s love and intuition I’ve never felt something quite like that day. I fought hard for my son in court and eventually won enough to keep the stepson away for good. Fast forward the bs his dad put me through for protecting my son. He now has almost fully brainwashed my son to believe I am useless to the point where my son talks back to me, calls me names, disrespects whomever he pleases, messes up in school. I taught my son how to pee, tie his sneakers, read and write, cook, clean, and wash his clothes within reason for his age. His father has him convinced I want him to grow up too fast and calls him a little boy and now my son says I don’t have to go this. I’m a little kid. I’m not your slave. I never fully recovered from my son being molested and me feeling like I failed to protect him. I am less than half the person I was before I found out, I am angry, I am lost, I am hurt, my son who I’ve raised and was amazing was hurt requires extensive therapy, is confused about love and affection. His father wants us back as a family. It will never happen, and he said he’d use my son against me till he can, and it’s working and Idk what to do anymore.


Have you sought counseling for yourself? I highly encourage you to do so as well. Your child has all these feelings on the Inside he doesn’t know how to deal with. You have feelings you dont know how to deal with either you both need to speak to someone that is not bias to this situation.


Well if he saying that he’s doing this to get back to you. and you have proof it’s time to show the courts what he is doing to your sons mind. Another battle to be done in court


I think set aside what’s happened to him he’s 11 and my daughter as been the same with me all part of growing up they are horrible to the ones that protect them the most… I think even if this hadn’t of happened he would still be behaviong in this way with you, good on you for being a mum and recognising that something wasn’t right and you dealt with it correctly don’t beat yourself up over it everything you done is right carry on he will come around eventually xx

Do ALL communication with his dad in writing. I literally had to SHOW my daughter (she was 14 at the time so a little older) what he was saying and doing…BUT I had to wait until all the court and counseling was done. She was LIVID at him. She will be 21 in Dec and talks to me about things that she’d never talk to him about. She treats him more like an acquaintance from a job. The “fan” is welcome to message me directly.

That man needs to stay the hell away from both you and your son. Get a restraining order.


You both need to go to counseling. My daughters were molested by a family member when they were very young I didn’t find out about till they were in their 30s we have been dealing with these for the last 10 years. Please get some counseling

You need counseling.

There is no quick fixes for something like this. Therapy for both you and your son together as well as apart. Document everything, everything.


Am I hearing this right ur ex knew ur son was been abused and done nothing and he STILL sees your son omg


Bravehearts for counselling

He wouldn’t even see his son he failed to protect him it happen in the home of his new family y is there any contact at all.being his father he should have protected from the predator that he brought him around regardless the age.

He is 11 I have a daughter who is 11 I won’t push her to wash her own clothing or anything like that way too young maybe 14-15 yes might be more appropriate for domestic duties all he should be doing is picking up after himself toys dinner plate etc at 11. You need to make sure the stepson is put on the sex offenders register now

He will moleste other kids.

Or name and shame pretty sure someone who knows him will smash the pedo

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All of you need serious family counseling. EVERYONE!

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Seek counseling for yourself u.need it this man has mentally abused.u.to the point.u.believe everything he says and your son needs it too. Go to legal aid seek legal counsel you have a long road a head of you but fight this noone deserves this treatment.eventually u can move on good.luck

Women will us anything to get custody of the kids, Biches money and only money

As a abused child let me tell you … I put my mom through hell!!! Why? Sure part of me was still a teen, a angry teen but because I knew no matter how shitty I was she would never leave me, ever. I was safe with taking it out on her. Fair? No! Heartbreaking? Devastating? Yes. Did overcome it, absolutely. Better and stronger. Its great hes in counseling (though it doesnt work for everyone, myself included) but sounds like you need some for yourself as well. Cant poor from a empty cup

Can you not apply to the courts for no contact with his father as he knew about it and did nothing???

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