Trying to decide if I should allow my ex to be in my daughters life: Thoughts?

So my ex-fiance and I have been broken up since last April. I moved back in with my parents (my parents are in a different state than ex). I found out I was pregnant with my daughter shortly after leaving. Against everyone’s advice, I told my ex I was pregnant — a little back story about us. We were together for about 2yrs, we got engaged, wanted to have another baby as well. So we started trying, and I had a miscarriage. I was really upset because this was my second miscarriage. I told him, and he just blew it off and wanted to go right back to trying. I tried talking to him about waiting, that was out of the question for him. Things started getting really bad; he started staying out until 2-3 am. He had a dating app back on his phone, and he got verbally abusive with me. He kicked my son (previous relationship) and me out of our apartment in the middle of winter (up north). My parents told me to come to stay with them in Florida. They helped me move back in with them. I found out I was pregnant two weeks after leaving. I told him, and he told me he’d pay for an abortion. I said no, I wasn’t going to do that, so he told me he hoped I miscarried again. I stopped talking to him after that. He made it clear he didn’t want to be involved. Fast forward, I’m halfway through the pregnancy, thankfully, had some issues along the way, but doing good. I get an email from him telling me he hoped I hemorrhaged out during birth; I was a mistake and some more awful things. I started crying and getting really bad cramps. My mom said just to ignore him. I didn’t respond. Fast forward, and I’m almost due. He comes back and apologizes and swears he’d never talk to me like that again; he just wants to be there for his daughter. So I let him come to the hospital and be there when I gave birth. 30mins after having her, he leaves to go to the airport to go back to his home. We’re talking; he’s video chatting with her every day. He asked if we’re getting back together, and I said no, I just need to focus on our daughter. He gets mad and goes off on me again, calling me horrible names, and telling me that his daughter and I were the biggest mistakes of his life, never to contact him again, he’ll report me for harassment if I try and contact him again. We stop talking again. Now every couple of months, he asks how our daughter is doing. I’ve been ignoring him. I don’t want to be the kind of mother that keeps their child’s father away, but I also can’t keep dealing with his abuse every time he gets mad at me. Would you let your baby’s father be a part of her life if you were in my situation?

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Take him for custody and child support! I would ask for supervised visits. If a man treated you so badly why would you keep going back?!

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No. He’s shown that if it’s not his way, he throws tantrums. Tell him to take some time for himself to become the best father he can be before coming into your daughters life. he sounds immature as fuck.

Fuck that stay as far away from that man you possibly can for your daughters sake!! Toxic is toxic!

Absolutely not. He sounds completely immature and toxic! Your daughter doesn’t need that in her life.

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Block him and move on.

Nope… I would just go on with my life and never respond back to him.

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Absolutely not. You need to set an example of what your daughter should and should not tolerate. He only needs to call her a mistake once and that would give me all my answers.

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Nope at that point I would collect everything he has sent to you and file for full custody on the grounds of him being unstable and abandonment

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File for custody and child support and supervised visits from their it’s his choice if he sees her or not. Start keeping a paper trail of everything. And you did the right thing don’t go back trust me from experience it gets worst.

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Hes emotionally abusive towards you. If he really wants to see his child you should take him to court for child support and custody. He keeps leaving and coming back. That’s not a parent at all to a child. You want parent to be around 100% of the time not 10%. I honestly don’t think he is worth being a father over your children.

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File for full custody. Tell them you’re fine with visitations, I would try to have them supervised at first. But if you explain the situation in court then you just let them handle, that way, it’s not on you but you and your daughter are protected. If he wants to be in her life then he can make the effort by going through visitation, if not, then that’s on him and your daughter is better off without someone half ass there anyways.

He said he never wanted her. That he hopes she dies. She was the biggest mistake of his life. You are PROTECTING her from abuse, as soon as something doesn’t go his way with her he can and will take it out in her.

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I’m the biggest supporter of both parents being involved but given that he’s already been abusive to his daughter - wishing her death or calling her a mistake, absolutely not. I would get sole custody, bring the messages as proof. It’ll suck to not do it with child support and all of that but you sound like you have a great support system. If you go for child support, he’s always going to be “involved”. I would just figure it out legally so he’s not even allowed. And get a restraining order against him for both of you.

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If he was this abusive to you it might be something he might bring in on the child. I think I would refuse to let him interact with the childr seeing that he wished she was a miscarriage

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Sorry but he’s an ass. Don’t let him back into your life

Your daughter doesnt need that crap. Take him to court, get custody and child support.

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I would not. He sounds like he may hurt her if so.

Don’t be a fucking fool he is just trying to get out of paying child support

Even if you could deal with him like that every time he gets mad at you, is that something you really want your daughter to grow up with? I say change number and email and be happy with your kids.

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