Was I in the wrong for videoing my husband?

So I’m a SAHM with a 20-month-old and an 8-month-old and my fiancé got home and asked me to make him arroz con leche bc he was craving something sweet. I said of course just watch the kids and his way of watching the kids is lying on the couch on his phone until one of them cries, and then he’ll say, “hey, no crying” Anyways so I recorded him so I can send him the video so he can reflect on himself as a dad and he caught me recording, and he got upset. He said he didn’t appreciate it. And I told him I don’t appreciate you not being there 100% for the babies. And I think he’s mad at me now. He put on a movie while I was putting the kids down and didn’t tell me to come watch it. We’ve had this talk plenty of times of how I wish he was more present with baby’s and I feel like I do everything almost like if I was a single mom. Was I wrong? What should I do? I appreciate him for providing for us but ughhhh


I hate being recorded I immediately get mad. U should have just waited and talked to him one on one later on that night


Not wrong at all! There’s more to being a father than providing. Fathers need to bond with their children too.


Definitely not recording I would never do that to my husband as he needs his private space he probably feels as if you don’t trust him around his own kids I would be upset too there are other options than recording without permission.


Sounds like something I would do!!

You basically invaded his privacy doing that just to attack him.
If you secretly recorded him to have him “reflect on himself”, then brought it to him it would’ve been worse. You could’ve went about it differently. But, yes, you are a SAHM, But if he is the one working and doing all the active tasks needed you need to meet him halfway.
Its a two way street with communication and mutual understanding


He is father he needs to help with kids. Only natural!


Recording him is totally wrong, you wouldn’t want him recording a small time frame of your day where you were sitting around doing nothing and threw it in your face.


No you’re not in the wrong. My kids father will come home after being gone for work(usually a week to 2 weeks. Maybe 3 at the most, home on weekends and then gone the beginning of the very next week) and all he will do is sleep or sit on the game he whole entire time… and if I ask him to do something or help with the kids, he legit days"why can’t you do it" like bruh I do it, it’s all I ever do. Just cause you make the money don’t mean you cna sit on your ass while I still everything even when youre home

It sounds like he is completely checked out and isn’t bonding with his kids. Sounds like this isn’t a one time thing as you said you feel like a single mom on a regular basis. Has he always been this way or is it something new? Living as a single mom with a “partner” doesn’t feel very nice. He sounds embarrassed to be caught and confronted. Set some time aside where you can have a serious talk about him engaging with his kids. Maybe even suggest he attend a parenting class. Someone refusing to parent his own kids would be a deal breaker for me. As they get older, it will hurt them to have their dad ignore them. It’s fixable if he’s willing to take his role as an engaged parent seriously.


Oh well, Tell the poor little winey ass to interact with his kids !

How old are you? :grimacing: you sound really young.


He’ll get over it …I just don’t suggest you do it a 2nd time .

Its so hard to get them to fucking see we NEED some help. Its not fair. Hopefully that lit a fire under his ass 100% and ladies not like she was posting the video for the world. It was for HIM to see. So relax about privacy. Because if you ask me he is being disrespectful as well by ignoring her request for some help. Acting like we put these babies here all alone.

Tell him to make his own arroz com leches, if you can’t trust him to take care of the smallies then don’t ask him to. He’ll just have to fend for himself.


You are his wife, not his mom. It is not up to you to make sure he “reflects on himself as a dad” That was an invasion of privacy, and I would be upset too.


I beieve if yall have had this discussion before and you explained how he’s not emotionally there for his kids sometimes the only way for him to understand is to see himself doing it.


I would have flown off the handle. How would you feel?


Too much passive aggressive behavior


Lmfao you sound very immature. I’m sure if the kids were actually hurt he wouldn’t just sit there and be like hey so crying… I would’ve flipped out of my husband recorded me without my permission and told me I needed to “reflect on my behavior as a mother”