At what age is appropriate for siblings to have their own room/privacy? My daughter is ten and currently going through the “changes.” Her brother is 8. At their dad’s three-bedroom house, they are forced to share a room because dad’s GF moved her 20 yr old son in. I know it’s not my house, but I don’t feel that they should be sharing a room. I was molested and raped by my older brother (18 months older), and we didn’t even share a room. I am a concerned mama for my babies!
Your issues shouldn’t be projected on to your children.
Shared rooms aren’t uncommon for many families and they get on fine with them, especially when shared custody is in play. I’d rather have the younger siblings sharing than someone sharing with the 20 year old.
Isn’t there a law that at a certain age they have to have separate rooms? I mean come on what kind of father would allow that? My kids still share a room but they are still small (boy and girl, 18 mo apart) when one or the other don’t want to share a room it’s time to separate them.
I am pretty sure they are only allowed to share room up until 5 years if different genders. Thou the 20 year olds to get his shit together and grt his own place.
Some of these comments r funny. Cos when its girl and boy by law once 1 turns 10 they are not aloud to share…
Is your daughter uncomfortable with it? You might want to revisit the custody agreement with the courts.
The 20 yr is old enought to find his own place, if i were u i would raise my daughter under my roof
https://www.pacode.com/secure/data/055/chapter6400/s6400.81.html. section M states opposite sex at 10 years old or older may not share a room
The 20 yr old needs booted and he needs to put his young children before his GF and her adult son!!
Since you raised them right, I think rape is not the main concern (although it’s huge), but her lack of privacy and her father’s inability to provide a safe, private place for her. Have you asked them to put a divider up so it’s two rooms that share a door? At that age, privacy is more of a concern than safety and I’d be more worried about her with a 20-year-old but maybe just suggest a divider like a bookcase or a drape so they have their own space in that one room until the 20-year-old moves on.
So it’s shared custody and maybe only weekends the lil needs to learn to go to bathroom and change at least it’s her brother she’s sharing with and maybe he can’t afford it but the kids aren’t there long enough to pick up and move and far as the gf kid think as a mom r u gonna let ur kid be homeless maybe a bad break up or something u don’t know he needed his mother He got with her knowing she had a kid things happen no need to get worried about it. That’s what there dad is for to protect them . U know ur kids there old enough to talk about things. I’m a single mom of 3 girls and 1 boy u think the boy is 13 he refuses to put on clothes well he keeps his boxers on I’m always fussing at him but they don’t think nothing of it… they bust in when people use the bathroom it’s the normal thing shit happens.
it also depends on how ling they are there, if its split custody arrangement and they are there for half the week then it can be an issue, but if they are only there for a weekend then they wont push it
I kinda went through the same thing… but ive always talked to my boys about saying anything that bothers them… Something i wasn’t taught when i was small and i would keep everything to myself… I have taught my kids self respect and values and morals… I would think its better for them to sleep together than with someone they don’t know… Its hard that you cannot do anything about it since its not your home, but you can always teach your children to be alert and protect each other… Their situation doesn’t have to become yours if you teach them at a young age… Always have a open and good communication with them is the key…
maybe the two boys should share a room
According to DHS, I cant have the 7 yr old rooming with the 5 year old… Opposite gender.
They are kids! My daughter shared a room with her brothers until we were able to buy a bigger house. Guess what?? Nothing ever happened! I’m sorry you weren’t as lucky but you shouldn’t automatically assume the worst. As for the 20 year old, nobody knows the story as to why he is there. My oldest is about to be 19 and you can guarantee I’d move him back home if/when he needed it (he’s in college now).
cps says different genders cannot share rooms after a certain age …
My brothers and I shared a room until I was 15. It was only 9x12. My parents did the best they could. Not every couple can afford a bigger place…
I’m a firm believer that opposite sex’s shouldn’t share a room, however, some people don’t have the option not to have children share rooms. To my knowledge, in WA state, children can share a room with another sibling of the opposite sex until there is a 5 year age difference.
I have 2 daughters and they share a room. They are 4.5 years apart and we’re already looking at a new home so they don’t have to share.
To me, the 20 year old should sleep on the couch or find his own place. IMO
My daughter and son has never shared rooms, fortunately. However, I would be concerned about the 20 year old as well. Speak to your children was so that they will be comfortable to tell you anything
Also, ask their dad to have them in seperate beds if they are sharing a room. Hopefully it might be a temporary situation.