What age should we tell our twins about their bio father?

I need some advice. I’ve been with my twins since they were 14 months old. I was there to watch there first steps as well as the first words. I was up in the middle of the night, changing diapers, bottles, etc. In every regard, I am their dad. Even though their sperm donor is in no way involved (he’s never called, sent birthday presents, Christmas presents, nothing), I still feel it’s important to let them know about this. They’re four years old. At what age do you feel is appropriate for me to have this talk with them?

44 Likes

Too young…maybe when the ask?

1 Like

When They ask you, just don’t like. They won’t miss someone who isn’t there.

1 Like

Maybe a few years. They aren’t likely to ask are they? They won’t remember a time before you so they would have no reason to.

When they ask, 4 years old they dont comprehend this whole thing yet. You got time.
You could Chronicle their time uptown the point they ask… but unless the "sperm donor " is creating problems, I would wait till they ask.

Not yet, they’re a bit young.

1 Like

When they ask they are to young to understand right now.

1 Like

When they are old enough to understand how blessed they are to have a good father. The bio part really should only be a need to know bc of their bloodline since he chose to be just that.

My ex husband raised my son since he was 6 WEEKS old & my daughter was 1 years old … their biological father came in & out the first year & then stopped coming around. My kids called my ex husband daddy & their bio father daddy (name)! My ex husband was their father regardless of blood type! I explained the situation to my children when they were old enough to understand (every kid is different) … we eventual had a daughter of our own and never did my ex husband ever treat our other two any different! We unfortunately divorced after 20 years of marriage 3 years ago. My kids are now 24, 23 & 21. I explained to my kids that “daddy” was their father because he took care of them, loved them & cared for them. That daddy chose to be their daddy. I also explained that daddy (name) was their father because they shared the same blood. When they got older they put the pieces together and understood. You’ll know when to tell them… I applaud you for stepping up when the other guy stepped down! It takes a real man to CHOOSE to love another mans child and that more special than making one! :heart:

When they ask, that’s the right age. Right now they don’t care about biology, they care that you are their dad. When they start school or start to see how kids look like their parents, you can explain you weren’t the father that made them but you’re lucky enough to be the daddy that gets to raise them.

I was raised by a man who adopted me at 5 years old. My parents didnt tell me till i was 14.

When they are old enough to understand about the sperm donor. YOU are their father.

2 Likes

When they ask. Don’t stress it now, they’re too young to understand now anyway.

1 Like

Tell them now. They’re too young to understand but will remember enough to know. Then it cant become a massive bomb shell that will destroy their trust.

5 Likes

That’s a tough question. My ex told his son when we broke up, he was 13. Raised him since he was 11 months. Nothing was the same after. Broke my heart

When they start asking…and they will ask

1 Like

Too young…adopt them so they know that you’ll be there forever if you can! Then…about 12

1 Like

My mom always told me right from the start I was adapted, but always say not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone but still I call you my own and you are right where you are meant to be and then would tell me how I came to be in her life and made it sound extra special even though it was an extra sad story.
I was 16 months old when I was adopted

Between 10 & 12. Way to soon now.

I didnt tell my son till he was 17. My husband had him since he was 6 months old. Was no reason too. He was fine with it. Still doesnt care about his sperm donor. That’s what I call him.