I need help. I am looking for healthy ways to discipline my two-year-old. I am new to this parenting thing. I also do not want to create the issue I have. That my grandparents and aunt did to me as I was growing up. Spanking I do not like; I feel it teaches violence, especially in little boys. I want him to understand there are consequences for his actions. So mamas, please help.
Depending on what the “offense” was I put my toddlers in time out. If it was something I could redirect, I would do that but if it was hitting or something like that then it was time out.
Okay I dont spank, but I will give him a tap on the leg because I cannot get my little ones attention any other way -_-
Other than the light pop for serious offenses, I redirect and will be starting time outs. It’s a lot of keeping your cool and not getting aggravated
Look up PCIT it’ll help
Time out if it’s a tantrum I just walk away and they stop
Time out corner for 5 minutes and /or take toys away. No candy or treats that day
A “chore chart” of good behavior with stars when you catch them being good helps. Maybe even a red dot for bad behavior if needed, but often mostly positive reinforcement works; just the not getting a star/sticker is enough.
At the end of the day they get a reward or lose something (preferably non-food) or something taken away depending on the balance. Positive = extra story, 15 minutes extra screen time, get to pick a new toy from the rotating toy collection. Negative = one less story, 15 minutes less screen time, having to confiscate a toy.
You have to decide if it was an accident or exuberance vs. deliberate “bad” behavior. A quick and simple explanation of why something isn’t good helps too.
Time out in the corner for 5 minutes or more depending if he stays in the corner the first time.
Try 1,2,3 MAGIC…look it up. I don’t think 2yrs old is too young for this method…but each kid is different. The key is to stay consistent.
A 2 year old can’t grasp the concept of consequences. A child doesn’t even begin to develop impulse control until 3 years old, so any discipline used before then is for something they physically can’t comprehend or control. The only thing that works at 2 is redirect and model the behaviour you want to see. An example would be, if he’s throwing toys, remove the toy and say “we can’t throw this it could hurt someone, here let’s throw this pillow. see how soft it is?” … or “we only throw things outside, let’s go outside and throw this ball. Wouldn’t that be so much fun?” Don’t constantly tell him what he can’t do, tell him what he can do instead.
Focus more on building a relationship over trying to “make him pay”, and he will develop trust and empathy that way, thus become motivated to correct his behaviour on his own accord instead of because an authority figure is telling him to do so.
If you absolutely must use discipline because nothing else is working, time ins are more effective than time outs, and I’ll share a link that explains why. It also has a great “ages and stages” section that is very helpful.
I’m not sure what exactly you are having a hard time dealing with, so I’m going to recommend this group, since it is full of advice for every situation you could imagine.
Gentle Parents Unite
Whatever method u choose, always remind them the behavior the r doing is not ok and there are consequences. Just tell them everytime u put them into timeout or whatever u choose to do and as they grow the will learn this. If they dont pickup the toys, tell them ok if you dont you wont have any toys to play with. Of course i have cleaned them up but the next day i do not take out the toy she refused to put away, and after some time of repeating the same thing, she actually cleans her toys up herself and sometimes i dont even have to ask her ( she will be 3 in a couple of weeks) but stay strong mama its not an easy job!!!
Two of our kids had ADHD. I did not want to be one of this parenta those kid you can hear throwing a tantrum in walmart across the store. We tried everything to avoid having to put our kids on medication for it and a school counsler introduced us to 1, 2, 3 Magic! Look it up. Uou have to be consistent and follow threw.
Toddlers want your attention. Give attention to the behavior you want to see. When they are throwing a tantrum: walk away, pick up a toy, start playing nicely with it, wait for them to come over. Say over enthusiastically thank you for playing nicely when you see them do that, thank your for playing quietly… Give lots of praise and attention when they are going things you want them to continue. Give lots of little choices. Choice of cups for drinks, shoes to wear, clothes to wear etc…
Redirection worked great for me. I also didn’t use the word no, I just explained why we don’t do something and redirected to something positive.
No offense but I was spanked, and so was my parents and I loved, but mostly "respected " my parents for doing so when I had done wrong…the issue is to let them know you love them just not that behavior
Look up choice based parenting and healthy parent-child boundaries
I haven’t spanked yet but if my kid does something serious that worth one (ie running into the road after I tell them not too), I will. I pick one spot and I use that as her time out spot if she’s not listening and I keep putting her back, one minute for every year. It’s the carpet in the hallway for me, and I ignore her. She’s in my line of sight and not near anything that can harm her and she’s left to cry and scream. If she gets off before the minute and a half is up, time is paused and she goes back
Speak with a preschool teacher for tips.Seriously…
Working at a daycare center I learned so many different things and it really helped as my baby got older…I do not hit or spank…I redirect.Postive reinforcement.
I had a terrible time with my first born. Honestly thought she was bipolar. 🤦:sob: Then I realized how happy she was when she did good things and I praised her. So I started praising her even for small things. Your child will always want to please mommy…especially when you give such positive feedback. The more youfeed them positives the more they will want to do positive things. I was honest and when she did something she wasn’t suppose to be doing I would tell her that she hurt my feelings and explain why it hurt my feelings. It works 🤷 started right from the gate with my second and it worked with her and my nieces and nephews as well. 💁 good luck!