What are steps I need to take to get a divorce?

I know what you’re thinking, that is such a naive question to ask. Just go get a lawyer and file. It’s not that simple, and I have probably put WAY too much thought into it. My husband and I have been married, almost 9yrs. My husband makes right at 75,000 a yr, and I make only 25,000. I don’t want any more from him, and I’d like to split custody 50/50. But on that note, how in the world can I afford it?? I live close to a military base, so rent here is insane! The only way I could even remotely afford to be independent is if I were to purchase an older home. But then that’s where my hesitation comes I to play. Mortgage, car payment, utilities, food, school expenses, phone, insurance, etc… how do you all do it? Advice, words of wisdom, anything that could be beneficial. And before you ask, no, I do not believe my marriage can be saved.

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If tm you can’t feed them don’t breed them.

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mediation is supposed to be cheaper than having opposing lawyers.

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Why should he not pay you anything. Just wondering

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Do u have family close to you? A lot of people stay w family or friends for a bit til they can get on their feet again. Also…just on your salary and not both of yours anymore…there might have to be lifestyle adjustments or even possibly a roommate. Been there and done that twice …good luck to you

You can apply for a financial affidavit and file the divorce with parenting plan attached prose. I filed myself, no atty, paid full price due to his income though but was less than $400.

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If you live in a place where a $25k income can buy a home, you’re going to be just fine.

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It’s not easy, make a budget- NECESSITIES, see what things you would qualify for based on your income, such as reduced costs on certain things you may need, in most cases of 50/50 custody child support is not ordered to either party, where as a parenting plan the courts would order a suggested amount of support for the children who reside with a custodial parent. Figure out if the other parent is going to contribute their 50% or more if needed as far as sports, dr’s appts, clothing, etc. some parents won’t.

Lawyers help you figure all that out. Cost of living child support and rehabilitative cost for you for rent and living

You have to get a lawyer because you have children together so your first step is to consult one. Due to the inequities in income, he’ll probably end up paying your attorney fees. If not, then hit up Legal Aid in your city to see if you qualify. Your best bet will be arbitration as it’s the simpler course of action.

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50/50 custody will not get you child support. Is there any reason alimony could be an option?

I imagine you’d be entitled to spousal support and likely receive child support based off of his income compared to yours. Even split 50/50 custody you’d likely receive something from him financially. You may not want it, but take it because it sure will help out with supporting the children while in your care. You can do a child support calculator based off of what state you are in.

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Go to court house and file indigent

Look into your own future and side hustles and ultimately what position or career do you believe you need to be in to be able to afford your life…and work towards that . don’t settle for where you are.

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He should have to pay child support and alimony… and you work full time… you should be ok to start… then you might have to get a second job

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You could just do what I did and wait for him to leave you lol and then he would be desperate and pay. No but seriously. That’s how it happened for me. I could have stayed and kept the house and my job there but I had no family there. All of my support was 3 hours away. So I sold a bunch of things and then moved 3 hours away to stay with my family until I can get back on my feet. Right now I am still with family, splitting bills, and working to get us a place

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Why wouldn’t you want him to share in the responsibility of the children equally? Even if you share custody 50/50 your kids deserve support from their father to have somewhat of a consistent life. It’s not fair to them to change lifestyles weekly. Let him help you so your children are stable.

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Are you both amicable about getting a divorce? Is this something that you guys could go about as adults together? Make it all about the kids and making sure they are cared for, have a mediator, write everything down, research necessary expenses etc etc

Do twin hearts meditation by www.gmcks.org

I understand that u want nothing from him but if he makes that much more than u then u should ask for child support to help you raise his children let me tell you it’s very hard I raise my daughter pretty much on my own no child support at all and I make sure all of my bills are paid before anything else it may be stressful at times but it’s worth it instead of staying cause he was a lieing cheating scumbag