What can I do about my daughters behavior?

I wonder if its a texture thing. Maybe she doesn’t feel clean unless she wipes with a rough kind of exfoliating cloth like Terry cloth. Maybe buy a towel and cut it up into strips for her and see if she’ll use those instead.


I can’t speak on the ADHD part, but what I can say is that she needs go be evaluated immediately and seen by a doctor.
None of these acts are normal nor should be performed by an 11 year old.
I’d be willing to bet there’s way more to this than ADHD and wouldn’t surprise me if it’s more like autism.

Sounds more like autism than ADHD

Take. Her. To. A. Doctor​:bangbang::bangbang: what she is doing is WRONG but you need to take blame for this one. Not only is she 11 years old wearing pull ups but she is lying about her disgusting habits. How long are you going to let this go on for? She needs to be evaluated & probably should’ve been a long time ago when the issues first started.

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Ok… Well I have some experience in what im about to say. Please hear me and take the appropriate next steps.
Take her to the Dr. Explain all this. And really HEAR what they’re going to tell you.
Who’s in your house? Do you 100% trust the ppl around her? Does she go to live in another home (like another parent or grandparent) for some amount of time?
These are signs of sexual abuse. At 11 years old she shouldn’t be in pull ups.
It could be signs of med disorder- but please asap take to the Dr and troubleshoot with your child’s Dr. good luck mom and I hope you the best.

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Yes, talk to another dr. This sounds like more than adhd. Lectures never help (I know because I’m an over explainer…) but maybe an alternative option? Perhaps she feels she isn’t getting clean and uses a towel rather than just tp. With all behavior, you’ve got to find the function (ie. What’s she getting out of it/what does it do for her) before you can address it effectively. By offering an acceptable alternative (flushable wipes?) that serves the same function (she gets the same result with the alternative as with the “problem” behavior) you’ll have better luck changing the behavior. And praise for choosing the preferred alternative. Good luck. I used to work with people who dealt with similar issues. It’s a rough road but I’ve seen great changes with the right approach.

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Social stories about proper hygiene for teenage girls. You can find some on you tube. Also some type of reward system for placing her hygiene products away appropriately. Also take the towel out of the bathroom.

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Sounds like and autism thing… my cousin has downs with autism and he wipes with towels… they don’t know why and are still trying to get him to stop and he is 17

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I agree that it’s more than ADHD. My almost 9yo daughter is a smearer and I can relate to many of the other behaviors you mentioned. I took her to be evaluated by a child psychologist who diagnosed her w several forms of anxiety. She also has showed signs of sensory processing disorder since she was small. Throughout my research on the topic of smearing it is said to also be trauma-induced, particularly when there’s been sexual abuse. As for addressing it w her, best practice dictates that you do not address it at all. It can make the episodes worse and more frequent. Try not pointing it out to her or letting on that you believe it’s “not normal”. I usually will just nonchalantly clean up the mess then at a later time just talking to her informally to see if maybe something in particular is bothering her

It’s more than ADHD. I don’t know about any support groups, though I’m sure they are out there. My oldest is “ADHD” - so, I know the pain that goes with that…

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My oldest was diagnosed Adhd and was a smearer too. This sounds like it goes beyond adhd and possibly rides on autism or odd.

Your gonna have to do more then just lecture.

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You need a new DR. And quick. This doesn’t sound like ADHD .

Does she have a child psychiatrist? My son has ADHD he is 11. He would have accidents in his clothes and hide his underwear everywhere. He didn’t smear it thankfully but it was a daily habit and a messy one. He started seeing a psychiatrist several years ago and she helped him so much. Maybe your daughter just needs to talk about why she is doing that or how she feels. As parents we try to talk to our kids but often kids don’t want to talk about certain things with their parents. My son and I both love his doctor. We see her every three months and she has done wonders :slight_smile:


You may have to look into a therapist, I had to when my 4year old started smearing feces on things and she’s out of pullups and hasn’t had a smearing incident in nearly a year now, a lot of fear and confusion revolves around bathroom duties its unfortunate it has lasted to such an age, but at this point it seems a professional is definitely necessary imo


I would look into finding her a therapist to discover the underlying issues


Definitely look into seeing a therapist. Alot of times children who have been sexually abused do things like this. It may not be the case. But there is no harm in finding out . And a therapist will do just that!


I had ADHD really bad when I was younger, and still do, honestly I did NONE of this cus ik I would get my ass beat, it runs in my family as well, my dad had it, i just asked my grama She said 4 out of her 7 had it and none of them tried her cus they knew better she never had that problem, she may need therapy cus that shit aint normal… (no offense ofc)


Sounds like my niece. She’s so bad and her parents haven’t even bothered to get her checked.

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I’ve never in my life been so disgusted over some of these comments , seriously most of you are toxic and quite frankly should never been allowed to reproduce :woman_facepalming:t3: how is abuse going to make this situation any better ? She is clearly doing this for a reason, the key here is to find out exactly why, unfortunately that can be hard for a parent especially of a child that age going through puberty they don’t always want to speak to there parents about issues they are having. Best bet would be to seek out a therapist, let them get to the root of the issue here! But embarrassing her or “beating it out of her” is not the way to go about it.