What can I do about my son being afraid of men?

How can I help my son not to be afraid of men? Currently a 22-year-old single mom of a one-year-old and 34 weeks with my second child. However, the dad has no involvement whatsoever. I left him earlier this year because of his abuse and drug use. Because the father is absent, I have raised my son alone. He is attached to me at my hip. He hasn’t been around any man since his father, just women. Now, he is deathly afraid of men. He will cry, scream, and climb on me as fast as he can. Suggestions?


Well, was he around his father? Was his father abusive?

Is there any reason why your son needs to be around any men who aren’t family members?


Like just seeing men in the store triggers your son?

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My 3 year old is very protective of me and will tell men ‘You are NOT my Dad so get away from my Mom.’


Your boy is still a baby… I think all babies want to be around their mommas. Just give it time. For now show him it’s okay and be his comfort. He’ll put grow it. Best of luck momma!


My son was the same. Every time he saw strangers or even when we would visit my dad or brother… he would scream, tears rolling down his cheek and cling to me :sweat_smile: He grew out of it with time. He’s 6 now and has no issues whatsoever :two_hearts:

I have no advice here sorry. My 1yr old daughter has been like this for the past few months with anyone both male and female going near her. This includes family that she sees often! She will scream and scream until she is with me! It might be something to do with attachment hun!! If he’s only been around you for so long then that might be why :heart: also ignore any horrible comments that come your way!x

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He will right grow out of it or the right man will come into your life and gain his trust and the problem will be solved. The biggest thing is respect his boundaries, if he’s not comfortable that’s OK just kindly ask the person to stay out of his space until he warms up to them on his own


My daughter has gone through a phase of being scared of men and literally has no reason. When she was even younger she didn’t like women except for me and my mom. So I think it’s just sometimes one of those phases

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He is young but believe it or not, children remember witnessing abuse. I left my abusive ex when my oldest child was 1.5 years old and he was traumatized over the whole ordeal. Give him time to adjust. Talk to his pediatrician. Avoid dating for a while until he has calmed down and healed. Kids have feelings too and they should always come first.


Is there any men in your family that can come around and spend time with him slowly?.

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It just takes time he has to see that all men are not mean and abusive. My son is currently 4 his father had him terrified of men. He’s just now starting to warm up to my step father whom he’s known his whole life. He just started talking to my boyfriend of 2 years like 3 months ago. It’s a process for him and you. You just have to be understanding and reassuring that you’ve got him and your not going to let anyone else treat him mean.

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Went through this with my daughter. Then in preschool she got a male teacher. I was so scared. I thought she’d hate school along with men now. He turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to her. She loved him. She’s still cautious of men. Maybe will be forever. But she knows not every man is abusive.

My nephew was literally afraid of everyone ! Including family , you couldn’t even look at him with out him freaking out ! He’s out grown it now thankfully !

Just put the baby first.

He will get past it just don’t pressure him to. Console him and let him know that he is ok. My daughter was hospitalized several times and had surgery at 2 months old. From that point on she was terrified of everyone and anyone. She still is and stuck to me at two but is slowly getting better and slowly adjusts to new people.

Big hugs to you mumma not easy but just take it day by day with him. Sounds like he is scared which he has every right to feel his emotions.

-You said you came out or an abusive situation. Maybe he saw you abused and associates all men as abusive. Children are smarter than you think. Just my opinion. Whatever the reason, he will outgrow it.


I feel for him… i have the same issue except im older now… but i can’t see male Doctors, teachers ect. I had the same problem except I never was abused (until later in life by the time i was 10 or so by my older brother. And no I don’t just mean bro and sis fighting. It got bad I called cops, cps everything on him. I had to stab with fork one time to get away) . I was literally afraid of men for many many years. I wouldn’t go near my own grandpa for my first 10yrs of life. I am still the same way to a point. I won’t have male doctors still to this day. I’m 32. Some people just have fears/issues. It kinda runs in my family with the girls. (I even had all female doctors and nurses when I had my kids.) Idk how to over come it. Just dont force him to do anything or go to anyone that he’s scared of. Mine use to attempt to make me hug my gpa…nahh I’m good on that.

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