What can I do about my teen not taking school seriously at her dads?

The original plan for my 13-year-old daughter was to do virtual learning with me and go to her dad’s after school on Friday. I have fewer distractions for her at my home than she has there. She decided after her first week of school with me that she wanted to stay at her dad’s and have nothing else to do with me. I have been checking on her grades, and she is doing terrible! I feel like my hands are tied.

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Lol. School just literally started. How are the grades terrible?

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Some schools started the beginning of August, so it is possible for a child to be failing already.

My mom used to ask who is bigger? She’s 13your the boss use your athority!!!

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Uh you’re the mom. Make her come back to your house and do the work.

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Your the parent. She has the right to a option but that option is null and void if it’s unreasonable and cannot benifit her future. Put your mommy panties on and be the boss.

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Your hands are tied??? Your her mother you go over there and tell her dad she is doing terribly in school and shes coming to your house and staying there during the week at least until she cleans her grades up. Have you even spoken to her dad??? He might not have a clue whats going on you both need to be in agreement that she needs to get her work done. Dont let her walk on you youre the parent you need to do whats best for your daughter even if she doesnt like it

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Don’t do anything obviously you are not in charge .

Now me I would drag her butt back to normal school

But make a decision Facebook is not going to help you

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Make her come back home :woman_shrugging:t3: there’s nothing you can do about it while she’s at her dads unless u n her dad are on good terms. She’s 13 years old not 18/19 years old and you’re the adult she’s not simple as that

Talk to her dad, one solution Would be if she doesn’t do better she has to come to your house no choice

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What does your court order say?
Have you contacted the court to request the judge order your daughter to be with you during the school week and with her dad on the weekend?
Try that.

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Make her come back to your house if she isn’t going to follow the rules.

Quit being her friend and be her mother!

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I’m sorry but what?! Are you for real? In case you are let me remind you… You are the parent, she is the child… it’s your duty to make sure she does what needs to be done to have a good future, whether she likes it or not. Very few teens like school, it’s nothing new. It sounds to me like you would rather be her friend and/or just don’t want to deal with the “hassle” of being a parent. This age is hard and I feel for you, but you are making it worse on yourself by letting her do whatever she wants. My advice is to put your parent panties on and do what you already know needs to be done, even if it sucks!

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If she’s at her dad’s full time, your hands are tied. :woman_shrugging::tipping_hand_woman:
The best thing I can think of is if you haven’t already talked to dad, do so, and see if he’s aware of the situation. If he is aware and is unconcerned about it I really don’t know what to tell you. You let her go to her dad’s.

Put her back in actual school, where she dont have a choice of who’s house she is at tondo school. You are the parent.

Sounds to me like the the ADULTS need to get on the same page and quit letting a CHILD make the decisions :woman_facepalming:t3:

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she wants to act like a baby, treat her like a baby…take her cell phone, her social life and id make her sit at the kitchen table, you sit beside her and dont lether up till shes done

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She’s 13 make her come home until her grades improve!! You’re the mother make her listen

Who has physical custody? If it’s you, you can stick to the court order. It trumps ANY agreement you have with dad (verbal or otherwise) since it’s signed by a judge.

Also, depending on your custody order, you can invoke educational rights, get her attendance log to check the days, and alert the school that she’s truant as a last resort. Not sure what state you’re in, but here in California they have to be on camera the whole time for all synchronous instruction (direct learning) and post assignments on asynchronous days (self-guided online).