What can I do about this situation with my husbands ex?

My husband and I have been together for five years. Married for three and have one child together, I have a child from my previous, and he has three from his ex-wife. From the beginning, we have had issue with his ex. Recently my step-son (he’s 10) told his mom that every time he asks to go back to his moms, my son and husband give him crap about it, which is not true. My stepson will have a responsibility like schoolwork or a daily duty and not want to do it, so he uses his mothers as a scapegoat. Obviously we wouldn’t keep him from his mom considering 1) she’s his mom and 2) they have a court order (even though they never follow it). Long story short, this woman has called CPS on us three times, and the case has been closed every single time because we are good parents and take more than good care of our children. The other day while switching the music station on his phone and a text popped up. I know I shouldn’t pry but she stated that my son and my husband give him crap about going back to his moms and then she proceeded to threaten my husband with losing parenting time and that she was going to call cps AGAIN. I’m starting to get irritated with my husband because I feel like he hasn’t really stood up for us. CPS isn’t exactly the best organization and its traumatizing for kids who have to be interviewed especially when they know they have a good home. I guess my question is what should I do about this whole situation. I love my husband but I can’t keep dealing with this drama. Especially when CPS is continually showing up. It wastes everyone’s time in this situation and I’m over it! Help please!


Can you go to the police with that phone where you found the text messages

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or you might have to hire an attorney


I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. I have a very similar situation myself, but so far it hasn’t progressed past the constant threats to call dcf. There must be some way to report an abuse of the system. Keep any and all text messages as proof.

Idk what state ur in but sometimes u can get the person of harassing and false allegations my fiancee baby mama did false allegations on my fiancee she almost got in trouble for it. She was doin it cuz CPS gave us his son cuz he was being abused and touched then she got him back which was a dumb idea he kept coming to us telling his dad that he gets hit and touched. I would see bout getting her for harassing and false allegations.


She’s called 3 times and they were all false accusations? You can press charges for harassment.

I’d talk to your step son. Ask why he feels like thats what is happening to him and maybe try watching closer. You may have a bias opinion about what your son is doing and it might truly be bothering your step son.
Are you guys accusing him of only asking for mom when he has chores to do? Is that making him feel left out and ganged up on?


False reports to CPS is a chargeable offense, file charges on her at the police station with all your records.


Call CPS yourself and show them the text. That is not a valid reason to call CPS. They are overworked and shorthanded many times and need to be able to concentrate on the needs of the children who do need help. This is not a game. Shame on her grow up if this upsetting to ypur son everyone needs to sit down and come up with a plausible answer. Maybe let him know that he will not get around expectations by pulling the I want to go home card. I am baffled as to what your sons involvement is in this. This is a problem to be dealt with by the parents and the stepson. Your son has no say in your stepsons actions!


Uh no you can’t press charges for harassment, bcus she can say she’s genuinely concerned and you have to prove her intent was malicious. She can call cps as many times and they will always investigate. CPS is the ones who has to say she’s harassing you. The cops may talk to her, but being able to press any kind of charges is unlikely. Your boyfriend can talk to her till he’s blue in the face, but unless she listens it won’t matter. Unfortunately like a lot of other women you have a High conflict BM to deal with and ignoring her is your best bet.

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This is a difficult situation. What do you expect your husband to do in this situation to stand up for you guys? Do you want him to just give her exactly what she wants so your life is easier? Which I am guessing would mean less time with his son. I know that CPS is traumatizing but they have a job to do. Your step son is 10, he is going between both households and that is a lot to process. How old is your son? Is it possible that he is saying something to your step son that bothers him? I think you need to sit down calmly with your husband and explain your feelings and expectations. If it is possible sit down with his ex as well and tell her point blank what is expected of her son while at you and your husbands home.

Run it’s not worth it

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Sounds like you all need to go to family court.

Establish a visitation order that will be actually followed.

Whose phone was she texting? Your husband’s or your stepson’s?

I don’t know how much privacy you give your children on devices, but if this was the son’s phone, it was an invasion of privacy.

All these false reports to CPS should be handled as well.


Whenever you can solve this please let me know.

I believe its a felony to call CPS on fake allegations… Hire an attorney if all else fails, and see what you can do… Sorry you and your family are in this situation… Sad for the kids!


I would say first talk to your husband. Talk to your son to see if he is saying anything to the stepson. Y’all to the stepson & ask him what his father & brother are saying that’s bothering him. What are the allegations against y’all that she’s reporting to CPS? Talk to the Ex & ask her what does she expect y’all to do when he doesn’t want to follow your rules. What does she do when he doesn’t follow her rules? Explain to your son why CPS is questioning him (don’t mention the stepbrother) just that they are trying to make sure he is in a safe & loving home. I would consult with an attorney about the whole situation. If the stepson is texting/calling her to complain while with y’all, maybe the phone should be confiscated when he arrives & returned when he leaves. Good luck with everything!

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Document EVERYTHING. including time he arrives time he leaves for his visit etc.this is upsetting to YOUR family. It is harassment

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Keep those texts of her threatening to call CPS. When she does show them in the context of the conservation. Then ask to have an investigation into her using public authorities as a threat to get what she wants.

Totally different senario but I had 2 “friends” who would beg me to do things (watch their kids, take them shopping & buy their food, do their laundry at a laundry mat etc). They then took turns calling CPS with false accusations. If I refused to do their laundry they’d claim I never wash my kids clothes. If I refused to buy their groceries stating I can’t afford to they’d say I can’t afford to feed my kids etc. I showed the CPS person the text conservation every time. Soon an investigation was made on 1 of them. She lost her kids. The other 1 called on me because she was angry that I got her kids taken (I never made a claim against her except for falsely calling on me). They investigated her & her daughter was given to her bf mom. CPS isn’t for manipulation they don’t take kindly to it.

You can press charges for false reports that are being done repeatedly. Keep the threatening text. Tell them what is going on with the ex when they do show up they will stop taking the calls from her. They have actually flipped custody in multiple cases in Oregon do to one parent or another using dhs to get what they want. She’s using things as pawns and kids know how to play parents to get what they want

Your husband would have to take it to court…that’s honestly your best bet. Screenshot the text messages and print them out and submit them to a lawyer.

Press charges, theyre false.
Plus there’s already an order and you both are married youre included
She’s threatening the other of the court, already is a violation. She doesn’t have thay say
You guys need to sit with all the kids and dad
And you need to talk to your husband. Not sure if you’re vocal about it.
But it has to be handled with care with 3 families involved. Its not easy, its difficult. Take the messages and screen shots, everything and get back in court.
Hes 10, you can go through his phone
But go to court, its not working