You need to realize she is an adult and she will do as she pleases. Silence yourself from her for awhile, she will either wake up or walk away. Remember always whatever she decides she did it on her own. Stand up for yourself and do not let her see you breaking down. Tough love mama!
You could try counseling with her but if that fails or she refuses then for your own mental health you may need to cut ties.
Walk away till she grows up
You guys need to invest in a mediator. There are always three sides to every story/ event: how you perceive it, how the other party perceives it and what actually occurred. It sounds like she hurt by something that happened because relationships don’t go south overnight. Are you trying to be involved with her only on your terms?
So is there a reason why she had hard feelings towards you besides the fight a couple of years ago? Have you asked that?
People preach about Toxic Parents and forget that Toxic children exist in this world also
Honestly, she’s an adult now and while you can and do have the right to demand her respect in your home, it is completely out of your hands how she lives and behaves otherwise. Clearly, there are deep rooted issues that are not being addressed and I don’t think there is any “quick” fix.But If you are serious about fixing your relationship, I suggest family therapy.
You could be writing this story about me with one difference. My daughter goes to my mom’s and my mom is mentally ill which my daughter doesn’t see. My mom bad-mouths everyone and has a really difficult time understanding truth. I am so sorry you’re going through this because it’s a roller coaster and I finally actually blocked my daughter because the things that come out of her mouth are disgusting. I told her I will always love her and I will always be there for but I am not her punching bag and she needs to grow up. And until such time she is not welcomed in to this family and that’s her own decisions and her own actions.
There’s parts you’re not saying only how she does this and that. My mom did the same thing and everyone thought I was a problem child
please know that it’s perfectly ok to kick toxic people out of your life
You can see if she’ll do counseling? There just sounds like there’s more to the story than just the daughter. My mother was awful to me with her words/actions growing up and thought I “turned on her” when I was 18 because I was finally sticking up for myself. I never speak ill of her to anyone because my opinions of her aren’t anyone’s business. I haven’t talked to my mom in 8 months and I’ve blocked her on everything because it’s just a toxic and negative relationship. We can’t get along. I get you want a positive and loving relationship, I really do, but sometimes it’s just better for both parties to part ways.
I would tell the grandmother to correct her when she trash talks. Some girls don’t mature until later. Way later. I was one of those.
I’m sorry but there is more to this. There is a reason deep down why she is so upset with you. Maybe you have shown more affection to the boys without realizing it. I’ve been there I was the “daughter”. And there is more why she is upset.
I would just stop talking to her, let her go her way
Sounds like you do not want to accept any fault in the situation and want to blame her for everything stop wasting her time and leave her alone takes two to tango hun she shouldn’t be trashing you but you also should be telling your son it’s none of your business what she is speaking about with other people simple !
I agree with someone else in this thread that family therapy would probably do some good… I have an unhealthy relationship with my father of whom I recently disowned completely cause every time I try to talk to him he just denies everything and never actually has a conversation with me. He has a new family and has since I was a young teenager. My father is also gay so I believe that me not being a male may have something to do with it… also he never tried getting along with my mother and says I remind him of her. Every time I tried to move forward with him and forgive the past issues, new ones would always arise and he always treated me as insignificant to him or that’s just how I feel. I am now 30 and have a child of my own. I’ve needed him for help and his other priorities have always come first unless whatever he’s doing for me would benefit him in some way. Not saying that your relationship is exactly like this but maybe she’s holding some resentment from the past that you’re unaware of. However, if you calmly try to have a discussion and she can’t have any respect to talk to you calmly and return the same respect… she just may need some time to mature. Hopefully she comes around cause a mother/daughter bond is so special and I wish the best for you both!
I would tell her that you love her and want to make things better. Ask her if she would be willing go to counseling with you so she can have a safe place to express why she is so upset with you.
Have a weekend away together just you 2, lots of talking and loving needed ,think she bit jealous of the other children also and feels left out xx
Stop putting up with it tell her you love her but until she shows respect do not bother coming around stick to your guns it will be hard but worth it
I have been thru a rough life with my parents… is their more to this story then shes disrespectful? How was at home life? Broken families are not easy.