What do I need to know about a personal adoption?

I’m pregnant but not in a position to keep it. Has anyone gone through personal adoption, where a friend takes in your baby as their own? I’m considering this in order to avoid abortion. We found out I was pregnant via blood test when I went to the emergency room a few days ago. We are getting ready to move, are not financially stable nor mentally prepared for a baby. I was on birth control at the time of conception. My friend has been unable to get pregnant, and I’m hoping she and her husband can adopt the baby. What legal issues might I face going this route? Thanks in advance.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What do I need to know about a personal adoption?

You need to do it legally. Go to the family court house and ask what to do.

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I don’t have an answer but bless you for doing this!!! Bless you! Forever and ever! :two_hearts:

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Will you be able to mentally cope with seeing your child all the time

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Get an attorney and they can help guide the way. Get a reputable attorney though. We did most of the work on our end and knew more than our attorney did.

Call a family lawyer. Many offer free consultations :heart:

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One of my friends did this and it’s been such a blessing for both families. Go to the court house and figure out what you need to do legally. :heart:

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I would love to adopt a child or children. I don’t know how to do it and I guess money that I don’t have for. :slightly_frowning_face:

I placed my child for adoption… My aunt took him, it’s all throu the courts.

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Lawyer or if you wanna go an easy route sign them over permanent guardianship, temporary guardianship can be done in the hospital.

Feel free to message me ! I personally delt with the same situation and can answer alot of questions!

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This is how I want to adopt :heart:. You can see a lawyer and they can draw up paperwork

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Just here to say that you are amazing and this is so selfless of you. What a blessing!!:heart::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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I just wanted to say that you are an amazing person to take this route please stay strong !!

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Your friend will still need to do a home study, if you want an open adoption, go through an agency, as requests in open adoptions aren’t enforceable.

Awww you are an amazing friend!! Thats something I would consider before giving my child away and the not knowing what or where my child would be court house or family lawyer can help

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I want to say how awesome you are for choosing to do adoption instead of abortion. Thanks for giving the baby a chance even if it won’t be with you. God bless and good luck

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Amy Frances do you have advice?

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Talk to a lawyer not facebook.

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Do you have a pregnancy resource center in your area? Have you decided if you want to do an open adoption? I would personally go to your local pregnancy resource center and explain what your wishes are. They can help guide you to a mediator and people to help you with getting the adoption process started. Sometimes you can do it this way without getting a lawyer involved. That’s what a friend of mine did. :slightly_smiling_face:. Good luck to you!

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Hey feel free to message me I have done a whangai adoption where my sister in law gave us her baby,
I’m happy to give you some tips and that as we didn’t need to go through any legal stuff for this

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Please do your research on adoption and the trauma it causes the child.

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I would definitely go to a resource center .

In NC the prospective adoptive family has to have a home study done, and you both need a lawyer.

Prayers for each of you :heart:

I wish I had a friend like you!!

Join Adoption: Facing Realities

Many adults who were adopted as children speak candidly about the trauma it could cause your child to do this.

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Samantha Miller-Walker

I don’t have any answers BUT just want to say this is the most amazing thing you’re doing. You’re such a brave strong woman! So selfless!!! Proud of you and I don’t even know you! I’m sure there are lots of resources waiting for you.

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You are doing an amazing thing! I wish I had a friend willing to do something like that!!

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That’s really amazing I myself could never give up a baby ever God give us our angels in our life sometimes when we really need it and sometimes when we’re not you have to do what you think is right this is not something that you consider real fast it takes time for you to process what it means of having that baby 9 months inside you and then letting it go to someone else if you can deal with that you can do anything

I did private adoption got a lawyer Drew up the papers a couple adopting paid medical bills both parents have to sign over rights of the child it is really very simple I knew who had my child I knew he was okay stayed in contact with the adoptive parents but agreed they would tell him he was adopted when they decided it was time me and him have a good relationship today good luck to you

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You need ask yourself if you both are mentally prepared to see that baby all the time! Will you be able to handle those situations? You won’t be able to step in if you don’t like something they do! You need to think about your mental health at the same time. What if you get 6 months an realize you want to keep this baby. See a counselor. Talk with lawyers!

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Such an amazing thing you’re doing! You really need to consult with an attorney in your state/country. They will know best of the procedures and laws where you live.

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Wow! What a beautiful woman you to even think of doing something like this! Wishing you the best is any decision you make

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Talk to a lawyer, not these folks on Facebook

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This is wonderful. I am adopted and i commend you for wanting to be so selfless.

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Depending on your State, your friend can do a Private Adoption. She will need an Adoption Attorney. We were blessed to become parents through Private Adoption and are looking to adopt again. Your friend will most likely need a home study and certification. Best is to call a Quade A adoption Attorney and ask the questions so they can direct you per your state. You can look in a drop down menus on the site to find one in your state.
Blessings to you!!!

I just wanna say that’s such an amazing thing to do for your friend.:heart:

A friend of mine just went to a lawyer when they adopted their daughter from a family friend

You will need to get in contact with an adoption lawyer and have legal paper work drawn up.

I’m gonna go ahead and say what a lot of other people are saying. You need to be ready to either lose a friend or to see the baby all the time. I was in your shoes with both of my children. When I found out I was pregnant with both of them I was not wanting nor mentally stable enough to have a child in the moment. I wanted to abort both of them. As time went on things got better financially and I got more stable. Now I don’t know if I would be able to live without them. I would just do some thinking.

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Idk but give them your baby rather than killing it. Don’t worry about money.

Get an Attorney! You need one and your friend needs help one! I did a private Adoption 41 years and Attorneys made it so much easier and secure.

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Very unselfish of you. Hope your friends can adopt . Get a lawyer for guidance

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I adopted my first child from my sister and as long as you and the other spouse are both in agreement and the other couple are good people you should be good to go.

Look you you’re states rules and laws as they are not the same state to state.

Talk to a lawyer or google the laws in your state but where i live you can give somebody guardianship of your child so if thats possible start with that. You really are an amazing woman for doing such a unselfish thing like this for your child :heart:

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I adopted my niece when she was born. In kentucky the personal private adoption is a shorter, cheaper, easier process. Both parents have to go before the judge and tell them you Both agree to it and the person wanting to adopt also must swear before the judge that they are able to care for the child financially, physically and mentally.

We had a lawyer draw up all paperwork so nothing was left out but it went very smoothly and fast.

My sister did not need the Lawyer just myself

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That sounds like A Win - Win. You know the parents to be, so that’s a plus. Your lawyer can fill you in

Is this your first pregnancy? Honestly, as wholesome an act this is, I’d wait a bit before making any decisions. As baby grows, you will find yourself falling in love. And may regret giving baby up. Please just think long and hard about this before you make and rash decision. Even if you still choose adoption, at least you allowed yourself time to fully process what you’re doing. I wish you luck either way.

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I think its wonderful. I would go talk to someone that actually knows about it. Give a wonderful couple a baby to love and you know the baby is safe

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Very commendable of you to choose adoption over abortion! :heart:

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We have had several in our family do this. No issues so far and the oldest is in 15

PM me and I can give u my story of how i did an adoption with my best friend. And how I did with 4 state adoptions as well, irs an easy process if all Parties are on the same page its only hard if someone is not.

I think you need to take a breath 1st, you’re moving way to fast , take a minute to digest your options

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I think that is very selfless of you, May God bless you on this journey!

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Abby Johnson: ProWoman, ProChild, ProLife has a ministry that might be able to help you with the adoption process/fees.

I saw a couple on Teen Mom, where a couple gave up their baby girl. They stayed with her until it was past time to sign the papers and surrender the baby. It was incredibly painful, they did an open adoption. Rules spelled out. At first they got an arrangement, having the adoptive parents to send so many photos per year. After a few years, they got to visit at an arranged hotel. They did not, by agreement that they would have the little girl think they were family friends. The couple had to appear on the show very few times. As the years when by, the adoptive parents didn’t want to be on the show. The couple still have visitation rights. In the mean time, the birth parents are still in touch and had a couple had a couple of babies of their own. So the Moms can work out any agreement with the adoptive parents. It is a great option!

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Sounds like u have a good head on your shoulders and doing what u think is best for ur child. And I commend u for wanting to help ur friends who can’t have a baby on their own. I’d rather see some1 let some1 they know and trust adopt a baby than a complete stranger. I don’t have any advice to offer just good luck to you all.

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My daughter was 16 when she had her son. He was adopted by a wonderful family y sister new.two years later she had a daughter. She raised her for two years and finally gave her to the same family. They are both very happy and my granddaughter is getting married next year. They are both open adoptions. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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If you decide adoption I do not know were you live but my church does adoptions and they follow the child to make sure they child has a good life

I no both mother and father have to sign papers. And yes you can have anyone you choose to adopt. Best to see a lawyer put in righting if you want to be known as parents as child ages. If so it all has to be in righting

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If she cant take I would love too

You have to get a personal attorney and have legal papers written up before you go into labor

Just get a good attorney. Be aware of emotions. Be certain you are prepared to let your child go and let your fried adopt the child. I would also gave some guidelines in place regarding the future. You are friends. How is seeing the child in the future going to affect you and them. Will the child know the circumstance/truth of why you let your friend adopt him/her and when. Just some things to think about. Good luck and Bless you.

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Very commendable act❤️ poke around find out

I’m so glad u r choosing adoption!! :heart: thank u for choosing life for this baby! :heart:

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A family member of mine recently did this also

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I have such a loving family looking to adopt if anyone sees this or has the same experience. Please message me!

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The biggest issue is you experiencing “buyer’s remorse”
Even though it may be the right move and you are 100% sure of it you will ALWAYS wonder what if

My ain’t that did. Just get a lawyer who will file the proper paperwork

I think you have a great idea and just talk to your friend and her husband. Then speak with a lawyer I’m sure it wouldn’t take mucjor the paperwork that needs done for something like that…

I think
It’s a wonderful idea, just find an attorney to make sure everything is legal

I love that you’re doing this! I wish someone was able to have a child and let me adopt it as I can’t have children. We are looking into fostering to adopt.

The father has to consent also. Well in my state, OR, I looked into this personally and was told buy numerous agencies the father has to have consent as my situation didn’t grant only my consent.

What a blessing for you and your friend. May God bless this beautiful gift of this child in your life as well as your friend.

I would love to speak with you. Send me a pm :heart::heart::heart:

My parents were going to do this. You just pay a lawyer to do the paperwork, it was going to cost them like $1,200 to have it all done. But the girls sister ended up taking the baby.

Family lawyer can draw up papers for legal standing, waiver of parental rights/petition for adoption.
As well as give you the proper legal steps pertinent to your state.
<3 much love to y’all
In Texas the prelim of legal standing allowed me to be in the room and witness my son’s birth.

I would worry that you would later have a change of heart and as it’s your friend you would be seeing the baby/child a lot, I personally would give the baby to a stranger rather than a close friend.

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I took in my Bestfriend’s son before she passed away , you would have to contact a lawyer and have them file the correct papers for them to have the baby,

Please just be sure you trust this friend, my mom did something similar with my little sister and there have been problems with their parent harassing me ever since they were 16y/o

Have you had a baby before? The emotion you start to feel towards your baby is a love you’ve never felt before, through the pregnancy you start to create a bond. Then once you give birth it’s a whole different level of emotions. I would wait a little bit into your pregnancy before signing ANYTHING , you may have a change of heart and could turn to custard !!!

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What do I need to know about a personal adoption?

Have the couple hire an adoption attorney, who will draw up all papers, & put them in touch with a child placement agency. This agency will perform background & home checks to ensure they are safe to adopt a child (costs are around $2500 for everything.)

Once the papers are signed, background checks are done, home visit is done, attorney can request a court date in which a judge will grant the couple custody & have all birth records for the child placed in their name, when the child arrives.

Please reach out to Saving our Sisters. They can inform you on your legal rights and if you choose to parent, they can help with resources. They can help u make an educated decision and not a permanent decisions based on temporary circumstances. Remember no open adoption is llegally binding and majority of them close by the time the child is 5

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Private adoption (we did two- adopted family members.) is costly but all of that will depend on your attorney. The court will terminate your parental rights and after passing a home study and background checks with fingerprints the new parents will be deemed suitable and given parental rights. If DHS/CPS gets involved you may not get to “pick the parents”. You can establish all this now with a lawyer before baby is born….

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Thinking outside of the box, could you just list her husband as the father on the birth certificate? Then just surrender your rights and let her adopt your baby? I think as long as he signs the birth certificate that is enough to establish paternity and they don’t do any testing legally unless he tries to deny paternity.

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I can’t give advice on this but want to give you a big virtual hug ~ for reaching out and doing this!!! :heart:
God Bless you!!

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It’s called an open adoption, you choose the parents and generally you can receive updates about the child. BUT WHY is someone asking legal advice in this forum. Call a lawyer, most do free consultations.

What a lovely thing to do. I do think you need to look into the legalities around it, would you have involvement with the child, adoptions now are usually open so the child knows they are adoption and has a story book about their biological parents etx. Would you be prepared for that? I know I would find it hard to watch someone bring up my child, your mental health may need support with that, as amazing as it sounds sometimes these things can be complicated. Maybe join some adoption groups on here :revolving_hearts:

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There will come.a day you’re on your feet… and this will be harder then than trying to figure out how to keep your child in your life as it’s mother

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I am an adopted child. Adoption is a wonderful and loving way of caring for your child. It is the most SELFLESS act on the part of a mother. God bless you and your family. I am also an attorney. Contact your local bar association. They will typically have a list of lawyers who provide free legal services in the area that you need. Start now while you are thinking about it so that you know what to expect.

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I don’t have any advice but I applaud you. Such a difficult decision to have to make. Best of luck to you and the baby!

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There are attorneys to deal with this. I definitely would seek one out.

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Also contact your local child protection services. I adopted two of my children like this and they helped with cost immensely

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I am adopted and you are doing an amazing thing no matter which adoption route you choose. There are many resources these days.

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My sister did a private adoption and the parents still had to pay about $15,000 in court fees. It is an open adoption.

Me and my husband are looking to adopt we have everything needed but are waiting for a birth mother to choose us. We are going through the adoption network law firm if you want to look at our profile. But whatever you choose is the best choice for you and the child I am so thankful for your choice to try not to abort.

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