What is a good custody agreement?

So I need some advice or something, the father of my baby lives 5 hours away he treated me like crap the whole pregnancy, when our baby we couldn’t make a plan without the court so it’s not court ordered he comes the 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend of the month. Well he didn’t come for almost 3 months and then decided to move to us when baby is 9 months and as much as I don’t want him in our life I know it’s what best for baby, I was curious what custody agreement some other people have that work without going back to court

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I share joint custody. It is great if you cannot figure things out and you’re both stable good parents. They spend a week with me, one with their dad. I miss them ALOT BUT it isnt about me, its about them. They deserve time with him. We were doing 3.5 days with him then 3.5 days with me due to my work schedule and it was great. Now due to my current schedule we had to swap to what we would do with both working normal business hours and so he gets them Friday to friday then I get them friday to friday. We can always keep them extra if theres something we wanna do with them and the other parent consents. Of course my kids are older so it’s easier BUT joint works for us.

Well ma’am if he couldn’t hold up his end of an agreement without court orders, My advice is GO TO COURT! They cant ARGUE with a Court order!

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My advice is court order to protect u ND the baby ND can’t be a she said he said

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Plus u also gotta think how y’all gotta do it when the baby goes to school w the Father being 5 hrs away

Court orders help solve issues and arguments…
Mine gets every other weekend.

If he lives 5 hrs away I would do every other weekend and maybe during the summer months do every other week. That way when the child starts school you have a set schedule that will still work.

My friend shared custody of her son with his father, no court order. Worked out fine until the dad moved 1500 miles away with the boy without telling her. She’s been trying for over a year to get him back but is told no court order or custody arrangement means he hasn’t broken any laws.

Every other weekend and a day during the week

Get it done thru the court u protect kid urself against any b.s .

You have full custody. You claim him and he cant take off with him.

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I do Tuesdays and every other weekend. They usually spend the night on Tuesdays and get dropped off Wednesday morning before school or before he goes to work.

My x and I did where he had every other weekend and holidays were shared. I got him for Christmas thanksgiving day and usually day after then he went to his dads to finish the school break out. He also got him for the summer. He is an awesome dad always worked with me if something came up and I didn’t mind him having him extra days if he gave me some ahead noticed… then when my current husband and I moved out of state when he was 12 we gave him the option of coming or staying with his dad then we did it where I got him during the summer and when I went home to visit my parents would pick him up for the weekend.

We went through the court and he had every other weekend and every other holiday and 3 weeks out of the summer. I would go to court to make sure everything is clear

If he treated you like crap through the pregnancy and then didnt see his kid tell later on I would be a little worried about how he treats the child I’m not trying to say he would but you never know :woman_shrugging: I’m just trying to protect baby just in case

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Always go through the courts if there are already issues! You never know what could happen. But in my opinion, if he didn’t see the baby for months, he doesn’t seem to concerned to begin with. As a mother, your first concern should be the safety, well being and best interest of your child. Take it through the courts and with him living that far away, I would do every other weekend and alternate weeks during summer.

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My husband has full custody and mom has visitation. She gets every Thursday and every other weekend, as for holidays it’s every other holiday then next year is a switch.

GO TO COURT!! Protect yourself and the child. If he isn’t trustworthy (obvs) he could just up and leave with the child whenever and there’s nothing you could do. Always have a court order to protect your rights. I’ve seen it happen and know exactly how vindictive or downright un trustworthy exes can do…

You don’t have to go to court to get it legal. Family lawyer? I’m not sure exactly what kind of lawyer but a lawyer would help you draw up papers and get them legal so that he can’t argue with what is put on the paper. If he lives super close, maybe 2 or 3 days a week and one weekend a month? So then you still have the baby more than 50% of the time. Honestly every custody agreement will be good or bad depending on the situation. You need to look at the days during the week that would be best for him to be with the baby. Look at all the legalities and put in a custody agreement that states who gets the baby on what holidays or else that will be a big argument when the time comes.