I just need to vent. I have an amazing husband. We’ve been married for almost five years. I struggle with severe depression and anxiety disorder…We have a two-year-old son. I’m pregnant with our 2nd (a girl) I also struggle with chronic pain so it’s hard to move and do things… Mt hubby works, takes care of our home when I can’t do it, and our son, he doesn’t complain about having to do it either. He loves us so much. I just feel so guilty because I feel like I can’t be the wife/mother I need to be for them since I can’t take my pain meds or use my stimulator(had back surgery) I do my best, and some times overdue it and have setbacks where I can’t do anything for a couple of days… I just wanna do more, and he tells me to rest, that I’m doing all I can. I just feel down that I cant do what I use to before this pregnancy. I’m beyond happy that I found a wonderful person. I just feel like he deserves way better… maybe it’s my depression talking… I do my best every day to show him I appreciate him! I cook dinner most nights as well. I woke up the other morning, and he had flowers waiting for me. I wanted to cry I just wish I could do something for him, any ideas? Something special because he definitely deserves it!!
What are somethings that he likes to do? Outdoor things, video games, work on cars, etc. You can get him something he can use, make him a nice dinner, or a day you are well do a day out that he can form memories.
Do what you can , find things you can do and focus on those things, be positive and I know it’s hard but try to talk abt positive things instead of pain . It can help you both . Find reasons to laugh and smile more then you cry and complain. I take this from my own life of pain I know how hard it is .
Leave him notes in the most unexpected places… lunch box, pocket of pants or coat he wears, dash of his vehicle, wallet.
In home date night with his favorite movie. Write him a love letter that includes every detail of why you love him so much and the quirky features or things he does that you love.
Sounds like he’s a great man who would absolutely appreciate the emotional things!
Maybe I’m older than I think. Remember coupon booklets?
I made one, and the coupons were what everyone is saying. “Movie night - your pick”, “pampered bubble (or not) bath, with full back scrub”, “ foot massage”, “appetizers and drink delivered to your seat/chair in front of TV”, etc. I also had a car wash, inside car cleaning, etc cause I was young and could do.
Created as a coupon with expiration date, and further details whether intimate or descriptive. Handmade and from the heart.
a bj. they love them.
You are bringing his daughter into the world. What could be a better gift.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. 1 you are developing life inside your body!! Take a chill pill and relax. Just pointing this out. if you over do it and you know it puts you out for a few days, you are out of commission and aren’t helping. Which is fine, don’t get me wrong. But don’t push yourself to go over and beyond, you could really end up hurting yourself.
Leave him little love notes, send him a sexy pic while he’s at work , give him rub downs, surprise him with a babysitter one night and do something you haven’t done since you had kids.
Of course let him know how much you appreciate him and all his hard work.
Are you getting therapy as well as meds for your depression? Gotta learn to let go of the “shoulda.” Also remember that guys like to see themselves as our knight in shining armor so he probably enjoys being able to care for/rescue his temporarily fragile wife.
I second the suggestion of love notes everywhere. Or maybe get a service to clean or a babysitter so he can take off one day/night and just hang with you.
Try looking at it as its not what you cant do because you can! Its what you shouldnt do. I have eds and 2 kids depression and anxiety. Your story sounds like mine. These feelings are normal. I cry alot because I want to run around with my kids. I feel like I dont do alot. But I try and focus on what I do do and if i have a good day I still remember my limits and I focus on my fam. Also chairs tall chairs have made it so i can do dishes and cook etc. I learned how to kinda scoot ratjer then walk which is easier to get around when I was preg i used cbd products for pain and a belly band.cbd also helped with my anxiety and depression too. With laundry I have my boyfriend take them out put the clothes on the floor i sit with pillows and fold them. Then he brings them upstairs and puts them away. Just appreciate him everyday. I write little notes I stick them to everything he goes to in the morning. His toothbrush the shower etc and they are sweet and funny. Like the shower I wrote “this is the only thing besides me you can turn on” but it made him feel happy and started his day nicely. Your story sounds like mine and support is important. Message me if you ever need help with setting up your home to make it easier to talk about how you are feeling etc. Im not perfect I struggle and I get you! You are doing great! Pay attention to what you do do and change I cant to I shouldn’t
You could do the best for him by being happy that you have a wonderful husband.
Smile more …give as much love as you can.
I look after my fiance. He always says to me I deserve someone better. I always say I’m quite happy here with you and I don’t care if he can’t do much I’m here cause I love you and you have always treated me like a queen. I’m here for the good and bad times
Omg I feel like you are describing my life, husband depression and all. I know the feeling of wanting to do something to let him know how special he is and that you appreciate him. Sometimes I send a really heartfelt text while he is working. That way he will have a little lift in his day. When you have a good day, do what you can. It’s going to get harder with two kids. I have two. I hope your health (mental and physical,) improves. Bless you and your family
You’re already doing it.
I’m no way are you unappreciative or willing to take advantage of his love, care and consideration.
I believe if you really want to do something special for your husband, is sit him down an tell him just how much you love him for being the man he is, Men love being told the same things women like hearing.
Remember your body is doing the amazing hard work of giving him a daughter. I was beyond exhausted with my pregnancy and barely made it through my work day. I had no energy left during my pregnancy ( and I wasn’t dealing with chronic pain and chasing a 2 year old). You are working on something beautifully and wonderfully made; a daughter. Be kind to yourself!
just remember that its the little things that people often forget to do are often the most appreciated. good luck.
God put him with you because he knew that you would need him. Do what you can but don’t over work yourself. Do little things for him and show him how much you love and appreciate all he does for you and the kids. Send or give him a card, neck, feet or back rub. If he is doing all this for you and the babies he was brought up right and is a real MAN…He is taking care of his family. Y’all are truly blessed.
If he has a Sport send him out to do it. If its a hobby give him something to go with it. ORRRRR…a beautiful Card and a money Card to get what his hearts desire is. You can do this online as you are not physically strong right now. Im not able to get about much right now but I sure do understand your situation. Im going to be praying for you. You can do things just as youre able and be everything he and your children need.
I would try talking to a counselor about anything you don’t want to share with your hubby. If you can possibly look into a part time housekeeper to help out. He’s right you need to rest. Be grateful not guilty sounds like you got a good one.