What is the best way to go about a parenting plan?

My baby’s dad was never in her life until 18 months. When I filed child support, he would always block me on everything when I would show him pics and stuff, and he denied her. At 18 months, he comes in her life for one month and gives $300 and leaves again. He finally gets served with child support in Aug, and now he’s single and wants to be in my daughter’s life. We went for child support he asked for DNA turns out she’s his. His family still doesn’t know my daughter, but we’re trying our best to make it happen. My daughter’s dad wants to write out a plan that says he will not take my daughter overnight or anything because we know she’s very uncomfortable because she hardly knows him. So we want to write it out that I basically have sole custody but that he or his family can see her whenever as long as someone is with her that she grew up with. We both agree to it. Could we write it out and get it notarized? And if we do, do we file it with the courts? We’re looking for the best way to go about this, but he wants it written out. My baby’s dad was never in her life until 18 months. When I filed child support, he would always block me on everything when I would show him pics and stuff, and he denied her. At 18 months, he comes in her life for one month and gives $300 and leaves again. He finally gets served with child support in Aug, and now he’s single and wants to be in my daughter’s life. We went for child support he asked for DNA turns out she’s his. His family still doesn’t know my daughter, but we’re trying our best to make it happen. My daughter’s dad wants to write out a plan that says he will not take my daughter overnight or anything because we know she’s very uncomfortable because she hardly knows him. So we want to write it out that I basically have sole custody but that he or his family can see her whenever as long as someone is with her that she grew up with. We both agree to it. Could we write it out and get it notarized? And if we do, do we file it with the courts? We’re looking for the best way to go about this, but he wants it written out.

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file it with the courts

See a lawyer to make it all legal

When you go to court for child support he should request visitation noting the agreement between mother and father.

In PA, a judge will consider a notarized statement between two parents, just as permanent as a custody court order. Thats all i had with my daughters father until this past summer. We had a very Similar situation, she was just under 3 when he really came around to being active. So yes. Get it notarized, because god for bid something happened, the police would go by the notarized paperwork as well.

Depends what state your in. I know in va you still have to file custody papers but they have mediation before your court date to see if you 2 can agree upon something without involving the courts. I would suggest you and him meet at your local court house and just explain you two agree to such and such do we need to file custody papers to have it written out or can we just get a paper notarized stating such agreement. Every state is different! Good luck momma!

Some states if your not married, Mom does have sole automatically.

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See. A. Lawyer. Family law can get very tricky. It’s best to talk to a professional.

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Some county courts have a self help office that will help you draw up the documents you need at no cost except for the fees when you file the papers with court. My sons dad and I did it that way and split the filing costs. It went super smooth that way. Check the website for your county court house and find out if they have one. If not you may have to go see a lawyer. Since you both agree it shouldn’t be too difficult or costly.

It definitely needs to go through the courts! When yall went to court for child support why wasnt custody and visitation set up as well? All of mine was set up at one time, one court date.

Go to child support court. They will set one up…

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If it’s not by the courts it’s no good. If you don’t have a custody place in order any time he has the child w.o you there he does not need to legally give you your child until you file a court motion. So for safety always go thru the courts

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Essentially you did the mediation part of the court proceedings yourself. You should hire an attorney to make sure it’s all legal

You can file a joint stipulation in which you both agree on all terms they will still want you to do mediation to draft up the final proposed order for the judge to sign.

A written signed agreement is not the way to go. Get parenting plan paperwork from your local family court and fill it out together and then submit it together. You can put those stipulations in it, but use their forms, there are probably custody things that you havent even thought of yet on those forms.

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Lawyer and mediation. Even if its notarized it doesnt have legal standing if not drawn up by an attorney I dont believe.

Children are extremely adaptable and she will become comfortable with him quickly. Their should be a step down plan in place where if he participates in visitation it gradually increases until after 6 months its 50/50 no support. The care plan can be drawn up, signed, and filed with the courts

Do what you think is best just don’t block him from being in her life, she may hate you for that later!

In BC, you can phone a family lawyer, you get about 10-15 minutes depending on his or her time…have specific questions written down and they can tell you what you need to know, free here for this kind of information

I’m not sure how it works wherever you are from, but I know in my case, I took my ex to court, and during the process we were offered free mediation if we were willing to compromise. (Our first court date was in front of a clerk who made sure we had all the papers we required, and then asked if we wanted to proceed, mediate, or drop it) We got a free mediation session of 2 hours, and then had to pay a very minimal amount to return two weeks later to finalize it. Then it got sent off to the judge who finalized it without even meeting us and it’s an official document now. Your best bet is to go to your local court house and ask how it works, they may be able to refer you to a mediator who can sit with you two and get it finalized.