What is the perfect amount of years between children?

How many years between children do you think is the best? I have a four-month-old daughter, and we want to have one more at some point. I’m a planner and like to figure these things out ahead of time. My birth control is set to come out in 3 years, so we were thinking then, but if we do that, our daughter will be about four by the time the baby is born, and I’m wondering if that’s too far apart? What are your experiences/opinions?

7 Likes

I think 2-3 years apart is perfect! :slight_smile: but every family is different and you gotta do what’s best for your family :heart::heart:

We have three (just had my third last week) and there are 2.5 years between the first and second, and 2.5 years between the second and third. It’s been a great age gap! So now we have a 5 year old, 2.5 year old and newborn. Our 5 year old has been a great helper

My daughters are 5 years and 4 months apart and I love it. When I’m absolutely exhausted and the thought of getting up again to grab a binky or whatever makes me want to cry I can ask the older one to get it for me and she LOVES to help and is such a good big sister. I couldn’t have done a newborn and a 2 or 3 year old I’ll tell you that much.

3 Likes

My Son is 7 and daughter is 4 (Due to start school September) And I’m 33weeks pregnant with my 3rd…

My first two are three months shy of three years apart. My oldest was two when I got pregnant. I didn’t like it. I just had my third a week ago and my middle is 4.5 my oldest is 7 I’m enjoying this alot more. They both love him and are so helpful.

In my opinion 2 years apart is better then 4. I speak this as a nanny who has worked with multiple families who have/had kids 4 years apart and being a mom with kids 2 years apart. Kids who have had mom and dad solely for themselves for 4 years have a super hard time transitioning to having to share mom and dad. I also think about the school part, I love my kids are in school together. If you wait 4 years when your older one is going to college your younger one will be doing highschool alone. When my daughter was 2 and we had my son she loved being part of the process and playing mommy. The kids I have worked with were just angry about the baby and it took quite some time for things to settle down.

3 Likes

Honestly depends on the family. Me I’m a little under 2 years apart from my sister and I loved being close with her in age. However my children are 11, 6, and 2 and they all get along fine and it works for them and us as parents. They have the same close bond as I do with my sister but they are more spread out. Honestly I say do what’s best for you

My oldest is 9 my youngest is 8 they are best friends i am so glad they are close enough together to have this close of a bond

I really like my 4 years between, daycare stays cheaper that way :joy:

4 Likes

I personally want a gap because I want to be able to put them through college . I can’t do that with two + kids in college at the same time lol

2 Likes

My 1st and 2nd child are 10 years apart. My 2nd and 3rd child are going to be 14 months apart. (Due next week) Nothing is perfect.

1 Like

I think 4-5 years it gives ur new baby the right amount of time to be with you and then help a lil when the new baby comes I have two girls and they are 7 and 11 I think that’s perfect but each family is different

1 Like

Two years (21 months) for us. They are best friends!

I have 4 kids. There’s 3years between my oldest 2. There’s 7years between oldest and middle. And then there’s 2years between middle and youngest (4week old).

I think it’s just about when you think you’re mentally prepared for it🤷

2 Likes

Mine were 1 year apart, so 4 sounds good to me

1 Like

My daughter will be 3 in November, and I’m due with my son end of July.
I got pregnant right before she turned 2.
I think 2-3 yrs is a nice gap. She’s potty trained and talks and sleeps well, should be a nice helper.
My brother and I are 2.5 yrs apart, we had friends with siblings in the same classes as us and it was easy to share things and get along. I think anything past 3-4 yrs is a bit iffy personally.
We only wanted 2 kids, so the age gap was important for us, and we had no fertility issues.
And 2 under 2 is no fun!
But to each’s own!

Have the second one before the first one stops taking naps. My oldest was 3.5 when my youngest was born and had stopped napping regularly. I was so tired. :joy:

3 Likes

20 months apart and it’s been awesome.