Hi well I had a question, I have two kids a 1.5-year-old boy and an almost-four-year-old girl when I was pregnant with my second I left their dad due to cheating well we were living in Mexico with him, and when that happened I moved back to Colorado he stayed with the girl and had their son a month ago he called me today saying that him and his wife thought it was better for him to sign away his rights since he is on their birth certificates and I need signed letters from him for like passports, school, traveling, etc. and he doesn’t want any more contact with us I said yeah it was better that way since he doesn’t call or help or have seen my kids a year. My question is, how do I start that process? Do I have to get a lawyer? Can he be removed from their birth certificates and have his last name removed too? And if it’s possible to remove his last name, should I? I don’t think it’s fair to do that to my kids, but my family is saying by signing his rights it means he doesn’t care
Idk how the process goes, but I would leave their names alone. When they are older if they have questions just be honest and if they decide that they don’t want to carry his name, then change it.
I’d start with getting a lawyer. He sounds like a piece of shit. My heart breaks for those kids.
Get a lawyer and change the names. I’ll be damned if I’d want to carry a mans name that wanted nothing to do with me.
You generally cannot remove someone from a BC, and (in my case) I had to hyphenate my children’s last names. It sucked! Every state is different. And even though in your eyes the father is not good, you’ll need to prove it. Keep all messages, record calls, receipts, witnesses, & statements, everything you can. Hearsay won’t work at all in court. I do wish you well and future SOLID happiness
From my understanding (going through an adoption process) he can’t sign them away just because he feels like it. Someone has to be adopting them or his rights have to be taken away due to negligence. That means you have to show in court that he’s not supporting them or contacting them for 6 months to 1 year it varies by you and the children’s residential state. You can find grounds for right termination by state on DCFS sites. Some states have the documents online or at the court house. Some don’t and you cazan find them on us legal forms website. It’s a lot easier to have a lawyer because they know what they’re doing and how to file papers which reduces you having to redo a mistake and waste money. He won’t be off the birth certificates or their last names changed I don’t believe because you aren’t doing an adoption which allows for a name change. You can possibly submit an affidavit for a name change and explain the situation but ultimately it’s all left up to a judge to decide what to do. I would call and have a free consultation with a lawyer just so you can have everything answered properly for the state you reside in. Plus they can tell you what paper work you need.
My Ex did this. Then he found out he still had to pay child support, not sure if the laws changed now but who cares if hes on or not. Just don’t bother with him. I’m not sure if u get child support but ur entitled to it . And u should go for it. Doesnt matter if he is around or not he helped make them, he can help pay for them. If u dont want it or need help, put it away for college. The only thing I’d be going to court for is sole custody
Get a lawyer, keep his name on birth cert. He is their father. Beyond that, get a lawyer.
What you are asking for is a termination of his parental rights. That requires a court order from a judge. The process is not quick. In the USA because he doesn’t want to be involved does not necessarily mean his rights would be terminated depending on your state law. You need an attorney to help you determine what type of father he is. Legal or putative. The attorney can then advise you what is in you and the children best interest. Your children have a right to know their father and he should be paying child support. Ask your self because the attorney will why you letting him off the hook?
Get a lawyer. My x was in agreement with signing his rights over. Your lawyer will draw up the paperwork. It was pretty straight foward I didnt have to have any contact with my X. Your lawyer will send him papers that he needs to sign pretty much stating hes aware of the termination. Then it was a waiting game for a month to get all the papers filed with the courts. The ending paperwork my X had to come in and sign his rights over to me. He will still be on the birth certificate but his rights will be severed. As for a name change that is something you have to file separately which I did as well. Every situation is different but i knew that it was best for my son and I that this needed to happen. Hope everything works out for you. Also for child support I had to give a written document stating I didnt want to receive it under the circumstanes but my lawyer handled the rest.
With him living in mexico it might be a different process… I suggest contacting a lawyer.
I would let him pay for it.
My first sons bio dad signed away his rights. At the time i was getting married to my 2nd child’s father, and bio dad was neger in pictures. My husband adopted my first son (who was 3 at the time) and we were able to put my husband on the birth certificate. And change my sons last name as well. You will need an attorney. We’re in Texas…process took about 8mos to a yr.
Get a lawyer and let him sign his rights away, seems like he didnt care too much to begin with so they’d honestly be better off kids dont need a father that doesnt care in their lives it does more harm than good, I’m pretty sure hell still stay on their birth certificate but that really shouldn’t effect anything and if you want to change their last names to yours I personally would. Theyll be too young to remember it any other way and when they get older theyll understand
About the names, my father drug myself and three sibblings through a custody battle that has gone on for five years and still going strong. Im almost 21 years old now! Hes a terrible man and has done horrors to myself and mother. I have his last name along with three of my sibblings. I was questioned about it and honestly, its just a name to me. When your children get older let them decide for themselves. For me, its to much of a hassle and it brings up bad memories. Its just a name, when i get married mine will change again. I have no issue with it.
He doesn’t care, but the kids are still who they are. Changing their name or birth certificate just makes it harder if they ever want ir need to trace their history . Find an attorney. This should be a fairly easy process to terminate his rights willingly.
Consult with an attorney. Depending on your state, you may be able to terminate his rights. It may not remove him from the BC without a stepparent adoption, but does remove his rights. Changing the last name shouldn’t be a problem, either.
I have my dads last name
He hasn’t seen me since I was a year old. I am 27 and I wish I didn’t have his name. I hate it so much! So change their names for sure!!!
I would contact a lawyer to see what you need to do with him being in another country. As far as the children’s names, I would go ahead and change them if I was you.
Growing up I hated my father and I hated having his name and spent my entire young life desperate to change my name and free myself from the man that name belonged to. Took me two marriages and three name changes to get my head on straight with regards to my maiden name.
Also, any type of legal paperwork, school paperwork etc is simply easier if you have the same last name as your children. Not a huge difference there but it may save you some frustration.
Your son will have an opportunity to pass his last name on someday, that name should be his family name, the name of the person who loved and raised him, not one who seems he could care less about the children.
There is a lot of weight that comes with a name, of their father is willing to relinquish his rights as their parent he doesn’t deserve the privilege of passing his name to them, in my opinion. Best of luck
If he stays on the birth cirtificate you will need him for passports and lots of other things. Just saying…