What should I do about my childs bully?

We just moved to a new town, and the apartment building we live in has a playground. We can see it from our window and keep in contact with our son via a walkie-talkie. We want to teach him how to be independent. Unfortunately, he's met his first bully. Even worse, this bully is younger and smaller than him, so he feels like he can't fight back. This five-year-old has tricked other kids into helping him bully my son, but they've apologized, and they are now friends. But this kid is still at it. The first time he shoved my son to the ground and poured water on him from his water bottle. He also tried to steal his bike. Today my seven-year-old came upstairs soaking wet because this kid shoved him into a puddle. My son doesn't have a mean bone in his body, but I finally told him that if that kid laid hands on him again, he should do it back. I was angry when I said it because I was bullied growing up. But I wonder if it was the right thing to do, considering the kid is younger. My husband told me that this kid is a menace and runs away whenever any adult tries to go fix the situation as it's happening. The kid runs and hides in the woods. We don't even know who his parents are. Our apartment complex has cameras everywhere, so I think before my kid has to clock this kid, I should file a complaint, right?
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Tell your child to hit that kid one good time and I bet he won’t bully him again

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I’d tell your son to hit back if you can’t find that other childs parents. Ask the other kids I’m sure some one has to know. In due time that other child will know to stop! Unfortunately, because no ones corrected that child or has given a piece of his own medicine; it is why that kid does what he’s doing!

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Tell that boy to bust that bully’s nose. And he will stop that shit.

Do unto others… it’s self defense.

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Let him beat his ass one good time he’ll never do it again. Some girl was bullying my daughter in school so I gave my daughter full permission to rock her shit. The school called us both in and I told the principal, the cops, the teacher, and the other parent that the kid got what she was asking for, and self defense isn’t a crime. And that if it happened again I would beat her mother’s ass black and blue and we never had another problem.

Go down there with your son, and tell the kid he better stop, you watch him pick on him and y will tell his parents. Have him apologize to your son

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I think I would go down there and tell the kid that he has been warned - if he touches my son again in any way I have told my son to fight back, and my son will NOT be in trouble when he does. Hopefully that will instill fear in him if he knows that you know and have told your son to pop him if he does it again.

My mom instinct is to beat that ass. HOWEVER. Don’t do that. He’s probably learning it from somewhere, most likely his own home. Try to invite him over, kill him with kindness. Show him he could have friends. And if that doesn’t work, yes, one solid hit will usually back bullies down. From your kid, not you.

My dad taught my brother and I the same thing growing up, never start the fight but finish it. When they stop you stop. And no one has the right to lay an unwanted hand on you, younger or older. I was in 6th grade and was having a verbal cat fight with a 10th grader. We were both wrong there. I got up to walk away and she kicked me hard enough I dropped. I stood up and punched her in the mouth, just once. She didn’t hit me again so I didn’t hit her again. We both ended up in trouble with the school, but ended up being friendly afterwards. I’ve been teaching my daughter the same way my dad taught me. If this younger boy isn’t getting the hint with words, and the adults can even sit him down to talk. Well, it sounds like you gave your son the best advice. At least in my opinion. Unfortunately, sometimes that’s what it takes for a bully to understand and either back off or change their attitude. Best of luck to you and your son! Tell him to keep his head up! Hopefully if you file a complaint it helps and it doesn’t have to come down to the boys brawling!

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I have two brothers. When they were both young the older of the two was getting bullied badly. Didn’t have a mean bone in his body. The younger of the two got fed up and come round the corner full speed and shoved a kid three times his size down a long ass hill…the bully never touched my brother again.

I would let the office know there is an issue, and ask them to just have it noted that it has been brought to their attention.

I don’t condone violence, but sometimes you do what you have too in order to protect oneself.

That kid touches him one more time… Have your son throw one good one at him. There is only so much we can do as parents and so much your son can take… He needs to defend himself without seriously hurting the child… Just send a messege that if you keep messing with me I’m gonna whoop your ass lol.

I would be finding the parents. Someone knows where he lives. Have a conversation with them, and tell them you hope you do not have to return to their doorstep . I ask kids straight up where is your mother/father.

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Record it and then go talk to the parent

Self defense :woman_shrugging:t2: I teach my son this and I was raised this way ; never throw the first punch but if they touch you damn sure finish it

I was always taught if someone puts unkind hands on you… you make sure they never forget that you were kind until kindness was no longer an option. Take that however you want.

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My son in grade 5 and 6 was small size for his age. Other boys bullied him. Pushing him to the ground. Pushing him into bookcases in the classroom. It was causing my son to stress out. Stomach aches…didn’t want to go to school. Im old school. In my school days boys fought it out. Punching and wrestling on the ground etc. Then they would get up and shake hands or go their separate ways…some became good friends. So I told my son if they hit you push you or anything. You stand up for yourself and fight them back. I am standing with you. When you get called to the principals office…or get suspended or expelled I am with you. But you stand up for yourself. Fight back. So he did…he fought back. One bigger kid didn’t expect my son to fight back. My son knocked him to the ground. But after a few incidents of my son standing up for himself. And showing these bullies that they crossed my sons boundaries …the bullying stopped. He became friends with 2 of his bullies. Like good friends. The others left him alone.
And the principal wanted them to sit in her office and talk things through. About how they feel. I said F that…I am not raising no panty waist boy. To sit and talk. Yeah there is a time for all that but not this situation.
I don’t care what any one thinks. I did what I thought was right. My son knows I support him and he’s a real good guy. Strong and stable. I would do it again.
The bullying comes from home. Where do these kids learn to be bullys. From home. No discipline. Frustrations about how they are treated at home from the parents themselves. Or not receiving the love and support and structure kids crave.

Tell him to let the kid have it! He needs knocked on his but a few times!

Ask the office who the parents are . Talk with them with a open mind , you will find one of two things a parent willing to help or the reason behind the issue then you can decide how to move forward. I recommend video from a distance to prove your sons side if possible. Your son should only use his hands if he is being held down or prevented from leaving in any way and then only to provide a way to get free , once free no hands on behavior. Remember your son will be responsible for his choices. I always taught my kids the rules as if they were 18 and the consequences. Be honest straight forward and firm .

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Put a sign at the playground STOP BULLYING :raised_hand: :skull:…also …u may never be able to get this fucker …but don’t allow your sons mental health to suffer bc of him …tell him the minute he gets hit the minute he gets shoved …he better hit em with a left right …altho a bully might never change and there will always be miserable ppl in life like this it doesn’t mean the other person has to suffer …I feel bad for your son …but I also feel bad for the 5yr old bully…maybe his dad …or parents treat him like shit …maybe there never around and he has no one to keep him straight …and is only modeling whats going on at home …kids need love …but I hope the bullying gets under control now