What should I do about my mother in law playing favorites?

My mother in law favors my husband’s sister’s son over our daughter ever since they were born; he’s 2 weeks older than my daughter. My daughter always gets the short end of the stick. Example: he got a gift from my inlaws for his birthday party and a gift from them on his actual birthday, all my daughter got was a smooshed up $5 in a card at her party and not even a phone call on her actual birthday. She has slowly started noticing that he gets more than she and I are at a loss for what I should say to my daughter when she questions it, she’s 5. my hubby has talked to his mom several times about it, but she just keeps playing favorites. I’m worried about what they will do for Christmas. His dad is a trucker, so he’s only home one day a week and says he’s not aware when this stuff happens but that she’s not doing it on purpose. My heart just breaks for my daughter, Can someone please offer some advice and some encouraging words for this mama

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My mother in law is the same way with my son. But I tell her like it is and nothing changes

Honestly… I’d buy a gift and say it was from them, I’d tell them I was doing it, and that I was doing it so she won’t feel less loved by them. Bring the lesson home to them and spare your daughters young heart. If they keep it up she’ll form her own opinions and views and you can help her cope with the favoritism and let her know she’s still everything to you. Just right now she’s a bit young to feel that kind of hurt, so spare her from it even if it’s not fair that they’re not doing their part for her.

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I have no advice but this started when I was 6, and I remember every instance, and it still hurts. I am very bitter towards those people and chose not to be around them as I got older. My mom always saw it and said something but it never changed. Only thing I’ll offer is, if she chooses not to be around Grandma, respect her wishes. Feeling insignificant and like you’re not good enough has a lasting impact

Stop bringing her around them 🤷 if your mother in law cant love her grandchildren equally than just stop bringing your daughter around. At the end of the day the only ones who feelings should matter and who you need to protect is your daughter, its gonna destroy her when she picks up on it so just avoid that heart break and have your own xmas without the MIL and if she asks why just tell her nicely that you didnt want to bring your daughter around someone who loved her less and when your daughter is old enough to understand she can make the decision if she wants her in her life or not 🤷

Ok, not cool, but how is your relationship with her? Im super close with My mother, and was super close with My maternal grandmother, i don’t think shes playing favorites on purpose…maybe its just who she closest too and feels more a connection too…js

Talk to your MIL yourself or have your husband talk to her. If she continues, don’t continue to subject your child to it. However, I hope you’re teaching your child that “things” aren’t as important as love. Do the grandparents show love and affection toward her? If so, that’s what matters.

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Don’t let either receive gifts until she treats them equal.

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I have to many grandchildren so i rather not buy nobody so i dont favor them i dont like that either its not right

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She will never change. My mother plays this game too. She favors my youngest over my two boys and my brothers two boys it’s sad really. But we just make sure they all feel loved and equal with the rest of the family. You can’t change someone… It’s so sad…

My EX MIL did the same crap to my kids from a previous marriage, soon they became old enough to decline visits and or participating in ANYTHING that envolved her.

My mother inlaw plays favorites it drives me nuts! She says she loves her daughters grand kids and can careless for my daughters. The only difference is my girls were 15 and 25 and they were on the phone listening when she said it!! They were devastated. So was I. She was being mean to me I kept telling my husband , but he thought I was lying. So one day I told my daughters to listen to my phone call with her. And we got a rude awakening :flushed::hushed::face_with_raised_eyebrow::rage::face_with_symbols_over_mouth::triumph:
I put her in her place and had words with her. But my kids heard it come straight out her mouth and That was it! My heart was hurt for my girls and myself and my husband!
Funny we dont have any holidays or get togethers with my husbands sister and her side of the family. Mother inlaws suck!! Now that my daughters are older they ignore her ways and forgive her foolishness! Cause I’ve raised beautiful kind daughters❤

My grandparents did this, both sides. Nothing either of my parents could do to stop it. They refused to see that there was an issue even though it was so blatantly obvious. We just grew up thinking we were less than our cousins. It still continues now. :woman_shrugging:t2: just gotta teach the kids to not let it get to them.

I was going to say, maybe spend the holiday with your people? ? Maybe , sad as it sounds, maybe your daughter will have to speak up for herself. We had this issue, and my gd spoke up for herself, and it has gotten better, but, it’s still not 100%. So, biting the lip wont really work. Lol.

Tell her Life isn’t ever equal or “fair” , start getting used to it , and laugh about the aunt being a cheapskate

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That sounds cruddy of your MIL and I totally know what it feels like to get the short end when it comes to “favorites”. You can tell MIL you notice the difference she treats her grandkids, but you don’t have to do more than that when it comes to her. You make sure you show your daughter that you love her so much and she comes first in your household. Continue to love her and cherish her, we can’t make other people treat our kids as special as we treat our own :blush:

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Your mother-in-law is and evil bitch you should say something to her she knows what she’s doing she don’t like you

Honestly, my kids never noticed if 1 got more or less then their siblings. I raised them to be grateful and gracious for whatever they received.

I sit and tell her what she does is hurtful.and her grandaughter notice it and it makes her feel bad and ask her is she cares and there’s your answer and she not will I g to change hate to say toxic is toxic and your child should not have to deal with petty stuff like that poor baby ot give her a old tomatom change or dont come around

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I would have a chat with her and if she kept doing it keep your child away and dont invite her any more

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