"I just don’t know what to do. Or I do possibly, but my heart’s fighting me on it.
My boyfriend decided he doesn’t want to move in together, and I let him take over payments on my car, so I could get a new one, and he needed a new one desperately. We were supposed to get a house together, but he decided he needed to be on his own for a while, he lived with his parents due to child support payments.
Well, now I can’t qualify for a house on my own, and he doesn’t qualify for a car loan on his own. I can try to sell the car and make up the difference but that also leaves him without a car. I’m so lost. I’ve prayed a ton over it. I know I need to do what’s best for myself and my children."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“I would sell the car. If he doesn’t want to move in with you he may have other ideas in his head. Why help him if he is not that interested in you?”
“‘I know I need to do what’s best for myself and my children.’ You already answered your own question. Get your car back and do what you need to do for your kiddos and yourself. He has made his decision… please make yours.”
“Take the car and sell it. You need to think about yourself and the kids first. He decided to back out so he can pay the consequences. It’s not up to you to make sure he is taken care of. It is up to him.”
“Sell the car. If he doesn’t want to grow with you, then you don’t owe him any favors. Need to put yourself first.”
“The last sentence of your statement is your answer. Worry about the people who are with you for a lifetime, not for anyone who is temporary.”
“LISTEN TO HIM. He doesn’t want to move in which basically tells you he’s not ready. Don’t put your kids through that. Sell the car and take care of yourself and your kids. Let him worry about himself.”
“A boyfriend should never come before you and your children. He decided not to move in with you so that’s his problem. You take the car back and sell it. Sounds like he needs to figure out his issues before he moves into a house and takes on more responsibilities.”
“Sounds like he’s flaking out on you. He’s afraid of commitment. I would look out for you and take the car and sell it. Get yourself and your life set up. But make it so you don’t have to depend on him. The house and all the things you want will come. I have been there. If it’s meant to be he will follow in suit. If not, you will find someone better that will add value to your life, not take from it.”
“Sell the car. Let him man-up and figure out how to get a car of his own. Sounds like he’s trying to let go of you slowly keeping his options open.”
“He sounds selfish, immature, and not serious about building a life with you and your kids. Leave him and sell your car. It’s pretty simple in my eyes. Take care of your kids no matter what.”
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