Please, no judgment. So I am a single working mother to 3 children, by three different dads. It wasn’t planned that way, but that’s how it’s happened. The kids see their dads every other weekend on the same weekend so that they don’t miss out on time with each other… they are very close. And also, once a year in the school summer holidays, the kids go their separate ways to their dad’s house for one week. I try and arrange it, so it’s the same week for all 3 of them, so they don’t miss out on time with each other and also it gives me one whole week a year where I don’t have to arrange childcare around work, etc. I have it court-ordered with the eldest dad, so he decides the week three months in advance for the summer holidays that suits him, and I try and arrange that same week with the other two dads. I try and arrange all this around three months in advance, so everyone has enough warning to take time off work or sort childcare while they have an extra child that week. The Problem started last year while child number 2s dad moved in with a new partner. She has two disabled children, and he also has one other child who he has full custody of. So he and his daughter moved in full time with his new partner and her two children. Ever since he has moved in with the new partner he is awkward on his weekends, always showing up late, trying to swap days around and is fighting the argument that he can’t have our child for a whole week in the summer holidays anymore as it’s just too much work for him and her with the disabled children too… Why should my child be pushed out? He loves to see his dad and spend time with his sister over there, but he says I’m selfish in wanting a week to myself when he doesn’t even get a day to himself. When realistically, this is about the children. Our son is used to going to spend a whole week with his dad in the summer holidays, and he has always been super excited for that week with his dad…, yes it benefits me in the sense that I don’t have to worry about childcare and I often use that childfree week to pick up extra hours at work to make more money for my children. He says one of his partner’s children isn’t used to change; therefore, cant is around our son for a whole week. But he and his daughter moved into the property full time… surely that was a huge change and they’d only been dating a short while before and he did stay with them last year for a whole week too… so how much change is it really for my son to stay for a week with his dad like he normally does. Do I go to the courts and look for a court order, so myself and my son, don’t have to go through this stress every year for the next 12 years till he is 18, as last year he battled me for so long about it not being convenient to have him and he did have him, seemingly begrudgingly, in the end…and this year I’m trying to organize it earlier, so he has no excuses and has about six months notice on the week, but he’s already trying to wiggle out of it. I always invite him to nativity plays, parents evenings… any events to do with our son… he never comes… I invited him and his partner and her children to his birthday party last year; they didn’t come…I never ever ask for any help emotionally, financially, or physically I hold everything down well with all 3 of my children. He does nothing extra at all outside having him every other weekend, not even a hair cut… and now he’s battling the one week a year he does have him. I’m just torn. He says I’m selfish, and this is all about me. But my boy loves his dad and his sister and gets soo excited to go over there. He’s hurting his boy ultimately and does not care… it breaks my heart that there are three children that live with him 24/7 only one who is biologically his and the one who doesn’t live with him… our son he seems to be pushing away. I find it especially strange as he has always been very doting on our boy right up until he moved in with his partner. What should I do? Any advice greatly received.
Let it go. Keep your child whenever dad can’t/fails… it will come back to bite him someday.
This has nothing to do with you having 1 week off with no kids…he’s gotten himself into a situation he cannot deal with and that’s just plain sad for your child.
You can’t force him to see the child , it will just hurt the child more because he’ll end up resenting the child and who knows how he’ll be treated when with them . Just do your best to take care of your child, the father will one day regret the time not spent
Send the boy to MY house!
Take him to court and get it in writing… he will ALWAYS find an excuse… Yes he doesn’t have to actually show up but at least your son would know that you tried to make it work… He needs to come 1st…
Seems to me the problem lies with you and not the child. The gf doesnt have a problem with the child he has full custody of, just the child where the mother is involved…sounds to me like a jealousy issue on the gfs part
Enjoy your one-on-one time with your child screw dad
Well as harsh as it may seem u cant order him to see the child though…he can tell the court he dont want to see the child and as much as its harsh they will acknowledge it…an then u have to keep the child right through…
Don’t force a child on any man, not even his father!! Going to court is going to do nothing but maybe cost you money in the end!! A piece of paper will not make dad do anything he doesn’t want to do!! Maybe you can take a day or 2 off when the other’s are off with their dads and do something special with your child that isn’t going to dads!! Just be there for your son, don’t bad mouth dad and eventually your son will see for himself that you tried and it wasn’t you keeping them apart!!
I would never send my child to someone who doesn’t want him. You need to take all three of the dads to court and have child support ordered. You both created your child, both of you are equally responsible. My sons are grown now and my ex-husband, their father walked away from them 15 years ago, but child support was ordered and he paid it. He chose not to see his children which he had a right to. I’ve happily taken care of them, but I expected him to do his part. You deserve that, but more importantly your children deserve it.
Oh honey. Step momma right here and any man worth his salt…or step momma or significant other worth her salt would jump at the opportunity to have that precious baby for a week. Dont let him give you excuses. If our BM offered anytime we’d jump on the opportunity. Sadly she wont even follow court orders. Things like that hurts the kids more than anything and it also hurts his relationship with his sister. You give it to him straight and tell him if he doesnt get his act together and start thinking about his son then you’re taking him to court. As far as the woman he is with…if any woman encourages a man to disregard his own son…then shes not much of a woman. This pisses me off for you…there are men who pray for the opportunity to be a loving father to their kids…and then there are men like this. I’m sorry you and your son are going through this.
Sign over his rights and let him go. Stop trying to control him.
Dont push it. If he is acting g this way imagine how he may act towards his son?! Who cares if you dont get a week off kid free, lots of parents dont, take your boy and treat him special. Let him know he is loved and did n ok thing wrong… no point in forcing it
I know it’s hard to let go because you feel like you need to fight for your child, but I can say this… I have two children two different daddy’s and I’m married now and our baby is heaven. So three different dad’s all ten years apart. My son’s father has absolutely made me loose my mind at times. He’d change days and take my baby out of state and wouldn’t tell me, shows up late and really just didn’t have any respect. Unfortunately your x has at my chosen a family over his child but he will either see it some day or your child will. I don’t want anyone in my child’s life that doesn’t want to be there. I’d tell my son , your dad loves you and you will have a great time on your next visit. It hurts him but it’s real pain that someone he loves is doing and they have to learn to process it too.
My son is 11 and today was dad day. Guess what. My baby is home because he wanted to be home instead. Your child will see their dad’s for who they are. Don’t rake leaves back after they blow away doll.
Stop stressing just put the dad on loudspeaker tell the dad that he can be the one to let his son down. Hand the phone to your son. Bet he can’t do it to the kid and if he did. He doesn’t deserve that boy
I feel getting the courts involved will make the child’s dad even more resistant you can’t force him to take his child and am sure your son will be the one who hurts the most screw the dad let him go get on with it his son will understand 1 day it wasn’t his mam it was all his dad try booking that week off work and enjoy 1 on 1 with your son
If you dont want your child pushed out them compromise a little. So what if its an off week with or plan. Or he needs to take his son on a sat instead of a sunday. Its also not his fault that you had 3 kids with 3 different dads. Its hard to manage and i get why you sync them, but don’t complain he’s getting pushed out if you’re unwilling to compromise a day here and there or an off week.
Any man can father a kid but it takes a special man to be a dad. He’s already shown you that he has a lot of growing up to do. I wouldn’t force a relationship with someone like that because the kid will end up paying for it emotionally. You can’t protect your child over there and your not sure if he’ll protect your son either. I’m sorry but I wouldn’t trust it.
No one forced him to move in with his gf