I need advice. So I woke up around 130am to find that my fiancé wasn’t at home… when I called, he picked up and said he was out “driving around,”… which I don’t believe at all. When he gets home, I went through his phone and saw he was getting emails from some kinda one-night stand website where you meet people to hookup. I’m so hurt and lost. I don’t believe for one second he was just driving around at that time of night and the website thing is a whole other thing. What would you ladies do? I’m furious. Help!!!
Get rid of him. He is not ready to commit.
If you stay, you are allowing his behavior to continue.
His actions say, he is not ready to commit.
It will continue.
Break up with him and go adopt a dog.
Rescuing a dog will save you and a shelter dog. You will receive 100% loyalty from a K9. Not that man.
I use to wake up in the middle of the night with my husband gone, would not pick up the phone and would say he was driving around, I’m not married to him anymore. Stay strong and follow your intuition it’s right more than not. Sorry dear.
The fact that you have to ask speaks volumes. I wouldn’t even ask questions. That just opens the door for excuses and explanations. Tell him what you found, decide what you want to do about it, and go from there.
First of all. Gather all evidence and plan out the confrontation where it will be safe for you. Second of all. PRAY A LOT. This will give you some sort of peace and keep you rational. After you’ve discussed this with your fiancé CALMLY. You will be able to make the right decision, for YOURSELF and YOUR FUTURE. Lastly… None of this is your fault. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are enough.
Hope this helps.
I would be asking questions. My mom always said when you stop asking questions your relationship is over. Even if you dont wanna hear the brutal truth thats going to hurt. You need to know.
I’ve been in “similar” situations. Not quite this but close enough. It’s really hurtful. The only way I have been able to get passed it is if he admits the truth and we are able to talk. It takes me a long time to forgive and “forget” and I have to consciously forgive him regularly for hurting me. When he lies or doesn’t admit it, I cannot get passed it. Maybe start there. We have kids to breaking up isn’t so simple. If you don’t have kids I would consider leaving him. Most men DO NOT CHANGE.
Oh my goodness, my heart dropped. Better to find out now than after being married bc that would be a whole separate mess. Take your dignity and walk away. If he’s doing it now, he’ll do it again. He knew the risk he took when he decided to follow through on a hook up. He made his choice. He knew what he was doing when he chose to cheat. I’m so sorry. No one deserves this. It’s not about you, there’s nothing you did wrong. Pick your beautiful self up and walk away
He’s a piece of work you are way better darling!!
I really hope that you find peace and one sweet day some real man will sweep you off your feet until then he’s not worth your heartache you will solider on much love your way worse feeling EVER
Do not marry him. Trust me I had a similar experience with my ex-husband when I was younger, and thought oh he will change, we are getting married, then we had a baby, he will change, and got married, nothing changed except it got a lot worse, and costed a lot of money to end a horrible marriage. If you have a gut feeling and proof don’t ignore it.
End the relationship. You deserve so much more! If you want to stay then confront him and try to work on it but it will be hard to trust him and you’ll always be suspicious in the back of your mind. I wouldn’t want to keep worrying, I would leave. Up to you. Good luck.
My question is, were these emails in the spam box? I have flown off the handle at my husband when it was a random spam email that he didn’t do anything. But if your gut is saying he’s cheating, then he could be.
I agree with the just leave or make him leave…my husband cheated on me he didn’t leave in the night but on weekends he would leave before noon and not return tell 7 or so …would say he was at work but I could drive by there and he wouldn’t be there
I’ve felt with this 11 years. If you found proof, than that’s what’s going on. Don’t let him walk on you. Because if you do they’ll never stop. Believe me. I’m sorry your going through this.
You obviously don’t trust him if you feel the need to check his phone. Even if he wasn’t up to anything why would you want to be with someone you don’t trust
You already know your answer you just want validation. You are worth far more than this person and whom ever he has been with and brought back to you if you get my meaning. I’d be getting and std test pronto.
Reverse roles for a moment. Would you get up and leave the house at 1:30 in the morning without letting him know? Would you take the chance that he’d wake up and worry?
Even if he couldn’t sleep, there’d be no reason to sneak out. He could wake you to tell you (or find something to do there). I can’t handle sneaky.
The emails from a hookup website for me would be a deal breaker. I’d be done. Divorce is expensive as hell, and some STDs can’t be cured.
Go with your gut feeling. Your intuition never lies to you. As to what you should do? Well I would sit down and have a conversation with him and let him know you are aware of what he is doing and would like to know why and what got him to this point. I would not ask him if he is doing something because he is clearly going to deny it. Stand your ground and remember the ball is in your court and you make the decision. Stand strong and firm with him and let him know if he wants this relationship to work he better cut out all of this nonsense because your not going to tolerate this kind of disrespect not from him or anyone else. Good luck and remember to be calm and strong, you got this!
Have you confronted him about the emails? It’s easy for everyone to say to break it off and move on but it’s easier said than done! You need to follow your gut, do what is best for you if you love him and think he is worth it then try to work through it but chances are he will do it again. Good luck with whatever decision you decide to make!
I would tell him to leave. If he ask why tell him. There is a risk of STD’s. Make sure someone is near if he gets mad. Take care of yourself and your children if you have any. He’ll be upset you looked at his phone so take care but you will have to give a reason. It’s hard especially if you still have feeling for him. Just take care of yourself. Be safe.