I need advice. So I woke up around 130am to find that my fiancé wasn’t at home… when I called, he picked up and said he was out “driving around,”… which I don’t believe at all. When he gets home, I went through his phone and saw he was getting emails from some kinda one-night stand website where you meet people to hookup. I’m so hurt and lost. I don’t believe for one second he was just driving around at that time of night and the website thing is a whole other thing. What would you ladies do? I’m furious. Help!!!
As hurtful as this is it would be worse if you allowed him back in your good graces.
Unfortunately, this type of behavior shows a serious moral character flaw that I’m afraid would be repeated. Please take yourself away from this emotional abuser. You are worth more than this.
I just went through this for almost a year… trust your gut. Some people will never admit to it, so if that’s what your waiting for, it might never happen. I stayed way to long and let this happen for too long at 6 months pregnant… I didn’t deserve that and you don’t deserve that either
As someone who put up with lies and sneaking around for way too long my best advice is run. You will forever question his actions now. You deserve someone who doesn’t make you question. Run baby run.
Hate to say it but walk away. If your having doubts and trust issues now it won’t go away. Marriage cannot be built on mistrust. Usually if a woman has these feelings its intuition telling you something is wrong. When we let our heart over take intuition it can lead to devastating life changing heartbreak. Walk away it won’t be easy but it’s better to marry someone you can whole heartedly trust.
You snoop because your mind knows the truth that your heart wants to ignore. Marriage won’t fix this, people don’t change unless they truly want to. Talk about it and let him know you know and then make your choice. If he gets defensive about your snooping, it’s because he’s hiding something.
You deserve better. We all do. Wtf. Thats in no way normal or okay. Cut your losses before it gets too messy or too late love. Hate you’re hurting but if this already happening… Marriage ain’t it.
I had a fiance like that. He found someone “better” being as abusive as he was…ended up strung up on drugs and alcohol, then went to jail after him and his new chick had a fight. The chick supposedly has a ofp on him and he cannot leave the current city he is staying at.
First of all I would thank god that was revealed to me before I married this man and break it off. If you dont and you marry him anyways when he cheats on you you will have noone but yourself to blame. By that time you may have a child and being a single mom is no cake walk.
Y’all need to talk about it, if he fesses up to it and you guys decide to stay together counseling would probably be your only chance at peace and starting fresh again.
If you feel the need to go through his phone, there’s problem 1 which it there’s no trust.
You go through his phone and there’s evidence, problem 2 which is solid proof.
Please know you are better than that, you already know he is trash.
Leave him now.
Yiu shouldn’t have to snoop. If you have to snoop or feel insecure move on. If he is cheating then save yourself and if he’s not save him from your paranoia. It’s one or the other.
Read up on narcissistic relationships … you need to leave before you are married and with kids. It will be hard. It will also be confusing because narcissistic people are good at turning the argument around. They will make it seem like your fault. Then they will be the loving person that you you thought you met in the first place.
Now the cycle begins. It will be a never ending cycle of good months and bad months. It took me years to realize that I needed to leave. I left when my boys were toddlers and then came back. Because he was so good at love bombing that I thought it was going to be ok. He wanted to change and it was going to be ok this time. It was a lie. The last 4 years in my marriage were worse than the first four. I finally left. I have two teenagers and I have to navigate coparenting with a narcissist.
You deserve better!!!
Have you talked to him after you saw emails? If you two have a conversation about it but still feels something is not right then trust your gut some people lie when things not on their favor or lie for whatever they want and never admit what they have done and then keep on doing the same over and over. choose yourself before you get std or HIV know your worth you are not married yet
If u have no trust then what do u have. U talk to him see what he says if u dont believe him decide what ur gonna do. I’ve been with my husband 18 years and went thru it all with him so I know what I would do. But I’m in a different place than it sounds like u r. I would say set boundaries n expectations in ur relationship. Stand ur ground and if he cant respect that then do what u need to do… u got this. Ur stronger than u think.
I don’t think you want advice you want validation for leaving. If you decide to stay then you are signing up for a life of lies or an open relationship. To each his own.
You should really move on. I had a fiancé 4 years ago that was getting snapchats from a girl wearing her underwear and a bra that said “goodnight love “ while he was asleep in my bed, I checked it because I was up with my newborn at 2 am. I woke him up and asked him who she was and why she was sending that to him, he lied of course, so I found her on Facebook and asked her if they were seeing each other since I was going to marry this person in a couple months. She told me the truth and said that she had no idea that we were together. They obviously had their fling when we broke up and now she’s in a different state and he’s in and out of jail. best thing I ever did was leave before I married him. I’m now married to my husband and will be having our 4th child in a few months
I would honestly save myself the heartache and pack my stuff and leave before your stuck with him or pregnant.
Run, run, run . I’ve dealt with this situation before and trust me he’s cheating. Not worth wasting your time or energy
I would leave obviously he isn’t ready to commit if he is looking at websites like that ur better off single