Hi mammas! I need some advice. I have been married to my husband for five years, and in those years, we have had four children (ages 5,3,2, and 7 months). We got married because we got pregnant, and I feel like I was pressured into it by all my family members (if you get pregnant, you get married in their eyes), so here I am, I feel like I’m stuck in a dead-end marriage. My husband works the night shift and has since my first son was born, and he sleeps during the day. So I’m taking care of the kids for the most part by myself. I love him as the father of my children; I just don’t love him anymore. We have gone to marriage counseling that didn’t help. Divorce has been brought up numerous times. I don’t have a job at the moment because I stay home saves more money than me going to work. My family keeps telling me I need to stick it out for my kids and my sanity. They told me if we do get a divorce, than their houses are not open to my kids and me. I don’t know if I should stay and stick it out or go.
Leave make yourself happy all will be fine I DID IT BEST CHOICE ON MY LIFE
Get a job, find a daycare and do for yourself, you want out work for it. If you’re not happy leave.
Honey you married for the wrong reasons and had 3 more children???
When you start asking strangers when you should leave your marriage.
No one can tell you to stay or go. That’s a decision only you can make. No one else walks in your shoes.
I think you should wait
If your not happy bye bye the kids see it its hurting the kids in the long run.
Get a job ASAP and stop having babies if you are unsure about the marriage. It’s a hard season. Raising babies and the hubby working. It leaves little time for one on one time. Try planning date nights. Get a sitter once a month or more. Find yourself and actively work on your marriage. Give it a time frame you are comfortable with and if it’s not working still then leave. That also gives you time to be able to support yourself.
Hear me out. Stick it out for a bit. Get a degree online so you’re not having to pay anyone to watch your kids. After you’ve gotten your degree (depending what you go for) you should be able to get a good job. Then you can leave and support yourself and your children. I left before doing this and made our lives very difficult for a long time. I also didn’t have any help from family. You have to make sure you and your children are secure.
That’s sad that your family would not open their hearts and home to you when you might need it most.
Never forget that they weren’t there for you when you needed them most
It’s time to end it now. DO NOT EVER STAY IN AN UNHAPPY RELATIONSHIP FOR THE KIDS! You are teaching them that this unhealthy unhappy relationship is normal and they will grow up and go through the same thing and worse. Your children deserve to see you happy and loved correctly! Reach out for help to get out of this situation. If there’s anyway you can work even part time to start slowly saving money to get out on your own. If your own family will turn their backs on you, then they don’t deserve a spot in your life or your kids lives. Do what’s best for you and your kids! Nothing else matters
Can you save up a little money, like from hubby obviously, and then leave so you don’t have to worry about having no where to go? Or maybe talk to hubby and see if he’d still help you with bills until you get a job
If you need to ask, it’s probably time.
Love is a choice. Feelings can change on a daily basis. It looks like you’re going to have a rough road ahead of you because divorce means breaking up your family, getting a job, moving into your own home and finding day care. Sometimes we go through rough patches In our marriages but if your marriage can be saved you should try. If not then definitely consider it’s going to be big changes for you and your family.
I raised 5 of my children on my own… I styed with the father for all the wrong reason … had enough took my kids and did it on my own… it’s sad that your family will turn away from your kids … but I believe you can do this on your own …
Are you and the kids doing well now? If you get a divorce will you and the kids do okay?
Your family sucks honestly. Pressure you into getting married and then refuse to help if you need out?
Life is to short to be unhappy. Get a job and leave. If your family is unsupportive leave them as well. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. There is help for those who seek it. Good luck dear hope you’re able to find some peace and happiness just remember you’re blocking your blessings by staying where you’re not meant to be.
Sounds like you got yourself into a situation. I dont understand why you didnt use birth control in your unhappy marriage. Youve got many lives depending on you now and if you want to go it alone, you better make a good living or have a good lawyer. Good luck.