If your asking, you already know the answer
You have been pregnant all of your marriage, stop having babies and start focusing on what you have in front of you.
Your family sounds like a whole big group of toxic turds.
The night shift might be a killer in your marriage.
Going to sleep with your spouse is needed in a marriage/relationship.
You need to get a job, being a mom isn’t excuse to not leave the house.
I bet your husband feels as tired as you are.
Plan something to go as a couple, to revive what you think is dead.
I’m not saying stay and be unhappy, but the truth is that guys nowadays aren’t looking to date and stay with a woman that has 4 kids, and being a single mom is hard.
I’m not trying by any means to be mean just a fact as a neutral party.
Talk to him, do things for each other, win him over again and allow him to do the same.
Best of lucks
Wow women on here our so judgmental and can’t see all sides of what she is actually saying. Your advice to her is to stay in an unhappy marriage? Because they got kids together she must still love him? Being a single mom is hell? Wtf, you guys, way to empower women. Her family made her get married cuz she got pregnant. Her family is 100 percent against divorce and will not help her with that. You know what that sounds like, religious people. Which means theres a chance she was made to continue to have kids during that marriage because that’s the point of marriage in religions like Catholicism. So maybe start thinking outside the box people.
Ok…if your husband isnt abusive or violent and is a kind person then the grass isnt greener on the other side of the fence. Especially with 4 children under the age of 5. And yes you got married because of one pregnancy…not three more after that. U chose those extra babies and ultimately its your body, not his. So you chose mumma. Do you really think 4 children under 5 is going to be a blast for any marriage even a good one? If your husband is providing for you, and again isnt abusive, is kind, isnt cheating then stick it out. I think you need a reality check and l need to grow up check. You could do far worse. Put some effort into your life, get some good girlfriends with young children, join a mums club, go out for lunch and play dates, try and include your man, but if you cant do it yourself for yourself. PS l will edit this post further because l seem to be getting angry faces so l.will further say does your husband actually know how unhappy u are? Because you dont say. If he does and isnt acknowleding anything then drag him to counselling or give him a time frame on what things u need him to change…base your decision on that. But again without family support and u say u dont have that l would look at what l could improve first because there is alot of things you dont say about your husband…ie maybe a change of job to normal hours would help alot.
Lindiwe Maka Princess Mauke😒
Sounds like you know what’s best for you, and your family is not supportive!!
Communication is HUGE in a marriage!!! You need to express how your feeling and what is make you feel like! Lay it all out on the table. And see how he feels and see if yall can get something figured out. Plan a date night first and see how it is just yall 2 being together if you haven’t done date night in awhile. But I can see where you feel like your alone don’t give it entirely. Marriage is soo much work, it can seem easy to want to walk away but it’s never the best choice, especially for your kids.
Wait as long as you can for them to go to school. Get to work, and start classes on line yourself. Get a small apartment to get out then with some government assistance you can get a place where each child will have their own room. You don’t need a man to be happy but your children will need both of you in their lives to be stable. #Staystrong
Sounds like you two need to start dating eachother again. Having that many kids so close together and being on opposite sleeping schedules is difficult for any relationship. Put work into your marriage. Mend it, don’t end it. A marriage is like a roller coaster. There are tons of ups and downs. There are times when you really have to put the work in to keep it alive and thriving.
Sounds like you had the kids back to back so of course you resent him right now cause your body has been basically pregnant the whole marriage and you guys probably haven’t been able to go do things jus the two of you. But if you want out of the marriage you’re going to need to get a job cause you said your family said you won’t be welcomed there so they’re not an option and also stop having kids with him also from this point forward if you’re don’t love him anymore. Your body is not a baby making machine and it’s unhealthy to have back to back pregnancies in the end too. YOURE EXHAUSTED. He’s probably just as exhausted as you tho too cause he works night shifts which is not the best job. I’m a single mom and basically been a single mom since the day my son was born and it’s not easy at all not going to sit here and say it is. But for right now try n get family to take the kids for a night or couple days for you can reboot yourself and also for you can try and reconnect with your husband before you make this huge life changing decision in the end. How long has it been since you’ve been able to just snuggle up to your husband and have adult conversations that isn’t thru social media or family ?
Take this.time to investigate in a school or other training you can do to prepare you for the workforce. You will need a.good job in order to provide.for your children. Check out the price of apartments or housing where you want to live. I don’t want to hurt you but, I is unrealistic to think you and your children could live with anyone. That would be.a.huge burden no matter how much theynloved you.
Sounds like you need to do something for you. Moms need sanity like you said. Maybe try finding a part time job not just for money but for yourself. Getting out of the house and working helps out a lot. Make play dates with the kids ( which I know is hard cuz of Covid) I’m saying with your husband have family outings. There are some pumpkin patches open or maybe have a family get a way. And if nothing works that you try it’s not fair to your husband to be with someone who doesn’t love him and it goes the same for you. Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you need to be with someone you don’t love. People do fall out of love. But before you leave make things right for yourself and your family. At least have a job and have some place to go. Single mothers do it and they rock it! You can do it keep your head up
Maybe you should go to a group or forum that experiencing what you are and see how they revive there marriage with if, marriages are not easy, believe me just as you fell out of love with him you also can fall back in love …
People saying to stick it out have never been in a shitty marriage. I left my ex husband when i had three kids ages 5yrs, 2 yrs and 3 months. I only had a part time job. There is help out there for mothers. Being unhappy is the worst. And you dont want your kids to think thats how relationships are supposed to be. They should see a happy mother not a miserable one. Good luck to u
You have been a mom dealing with kids on your own for what sounds like a long time. It sounds like you and your husband don’t remember why you met but also because you never have time together which is extremely important in a marriage. You have to share the life to enjoy the life. If you can’t make it work you can’t stay where you aren’t happy. But marriage is HARD and if your husband is willing to work with you, help you out more, spend more family time, then it can work. You both have to be willing. The minute one isn’t, it won’t work. You have to decide if you want to fight for your marriage or not and unfortunately only you can decide that. You have a lot of kids, and while they bring joy to a marriage, they also bring a lot of strain. Good luck.
Omg. You need mental help and birth control
There are lots of resources available for single moms. If that’s how your family feels, then put your big girl panties on and prove to them that you wouldn’t have gone to them for help if they begged you! I’m the kind of woman, that if you think I’m going to wither up and crumble because I don’t have your help…then just watch me flourish. See how they like it it when they now have to be invited to be in your children’s lives.
Despite what everyone’s advice is, in the end its your choice on what you decide to do. Just remember the grass isn’t always greener on the other side but you also deserve to be happy. Talk to your spouse, express your concerns. Do what YOU think is best for yourself and children.