When should I be honest with my daughter about her bio father?

I don’t know when to tell my daughter that her father is not her biological father. She just turned four and has known my fiancé since she was ten months old. She thinks he is her daddy. Her real dad wanted nothing to do with her, and it’s better off that way. I feel like I need to tell her at some point in her life; I just don’t know when. I know four is way too young. I want to be honest with my daughter and give her the chance to meet her real dad if that’s what she decides.


He could adopt her legally. Still too young to explain otherwise.


She obviously doesn’t think he is her Daddy he is cop yourself on

My daughter was ten when i told her and she said i know mum i heard you both talking about when to tell me but she never asked anything about her real dad untill 26 years old and seen for herself what kind of man he was when she met up with him and has never contacted him since but what ever you do dont tell her the bad stuff to early wait untill she asks when shes older they dont need to hear all that to young a age

Why worry about it now? She’s 4, she doesn’t care. I’d wait until she shows interest in wanting to know who her real father is. If she even does.


I waited till mine was 18

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I had same problem it will come into play betw35 &

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Wait till she asks. My sons bio dad has been out of the picture for 5 years, my husband has raised our son for 7 years. I’ve put a box aside with paperwork/pictures/and last known address and number. Hes 9 now and has started asking questions, mainly why he doesn’t look like his dad (my husband) and his knew sister and why my last name and his are different from his dads and sisters. I didn’t change mine when we got married, wanted to make sure my kiddo didn’t feel left out or alone.

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She’s too young to understand that. But you could introduce her to the idea that all families are different give her some examples. It will be easier for her accept when the time is right.

Well first of all thank you for sharing such an intimate part of your life, that couldn’t of been easy, I have no idea when, but I do think it’s important that she knows the truth. There are so many factors to think of. I would definitely ask a professional, a therapist, asking us, is so sweet, but we are just a bunch of opinions. Your doing awesome mom.


I found out from family… it was devastating… I don’t believe it is your right to steal this truth! Who gave you the idea that being TRUTHFUL about her father was your CHOICE?? Its not, you decided when you conceived the child, she deserves to know her father, regardless of what you THINK of him… this honestly disgusts me…


When shes a bit older I think

What’s with these post? If the father hasn’t been in the child’s life and they have no clue who they are then what’s the point of even saying anything?? She has a dad, your fiancé…

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Shes not too young to be told at all. But you must tell her in an age appropriate way. Make her feel special about it and that she is a gift. Don’t underestimate kids abilities to accept things as they are. They are better at it than adults.


She’s too young to understand it now.
You’ll know when the time is right.

I grew up without a father figure, I never questioned it. Maybe your daughter wont either…


My sons four and just starting asking bout who his father is. (He’s never known him). My son has shown no interest in getting to know him (I told him the dads name, That’s it). Don’t worry until she starts to question about where he his

Do it when you get married, assuming that will be sometime in the near future. This bit of news need not be negative or off-putting. Tell her a story of how she came to you (stork, heaven-sent, or something. you pick). Then tell her that after she came, you met your fiancé and he asked to be your husband and her dad. He’s coming from a place of love and now you will all be a family. That’s all she needs now. Later as she gets older she may ask questions as her understanding develops. But tell her soon before it comes from elsewhere. Don’t fret. Children are resilient. You are her mother. She trusts you and she will receive what you say. Let it come from you.


I cant tell you when the right age is but my parents told me at 18 and I was so angry for them waiting so long I felt lied to my whole life. …even tho the man I call dad has never treated me any different I wish I was told at a younger age. (They only told me cuz I needed my birth certificate for my state ID)

Never hide that fact from her… there is this feeling of being in the wrong place that those of us who are adopted or missing a parent who is absent from day one feel… I don’t know what it is but we feel this loss of belonging… I’m in my 60’s now and have had problems socializing because of fear of rejection… My natural father left when I was a little over a year and has never seen him since or mom received child support and over years hearing things behind my back he didn’t want me… Very very young they hear things you whisper and hold it in… Be open honest and join an adoptee help group for advice that may help guide you to tell her what at what age… Best to come from you peacefully than a stranger being mean…