Definitely tell her. The guy you’ve been with has been her dad for 3 years but who knows where that’ll be in 10… js… also for medical reasons it can be VERY important to know and who knows how many siblings she could be missing out on… my husband only met his dad a handful of times was raised for 20 years by a man who was his “dad” who now has 0 to do with him so ya its not always rainbows and unicorns but the truth is important. He also has 5 half siblings from his bio dad and he does talk to 1 of them frequently
Tell her now before some one else tells her n hates you for lying to her for years just say she’s special cos he chose to be her daddy don’t have to go into too much detail children are really adaptable she won’t remember not knowing am a bit confused with people saying not to tell at all surely your daughter will need her birth certificate at some point
You will know the right time. You might choose when she is 16 or older. You can always write her a letter & then it makes it a little easier when u do it.
I told my daughter at 12, and she met her bio dad. She is was a very mature 12 though…
If her bio dad isn’t in the picture, why change the dynamics
Tell her when she starts asking questions. Until then let her have her happiness…
As a bio daughter, step daughter, adoptee, The Sooner the better!
She too young to understand I’ll wait tell she older
Wait tell the age she can actually understand
At the age of 10, my son starting asking questions that’s when I told him…your daughter will come to you then you explain it all to her.
I’d wait until she old enough to realize that the man in her life CHOSE to love her like his own even when he didn’t have to. Kids are impressionable and you don’t want to change her picture of him while she’s that little.
My dad was never in my life but my mom never told me a lie about it. She always explained that he left and didnt want to be around. I met him when I was 14 but I respect my mom for always telling me from the time I could remember. Explain it in a child kind of way and explain that the man who has been around loves her and wanted to be her dad. She will ask more questions as she gets older and explain more as she asks. Leave how much she wants to know up to her. If you know anyone who has a step parent use them as an example. Learning when she gets old could make her angry. Of its always known she will be ok with it.
This was asked 2 times on Friday too. So u could look at those also.
Whatever you do, don’t NOT tell her!! I found out something similar when I turned 18. It was an extended member of my family that told me that hadn’t been in touch for years. She thought I already knew…
I then found out that everyone else knew. I was the only one who didn’t. I felt cheated, unimportant and totally betrayed. My whole life felt like a lie. I screwed up and went on a self destruct mission for many years after that, and I never ever forgave my mother. Still haven’t, and she’s been dead 12 years. Talk to your daughter and tell her whenever you think that’s its the right time. But do tell her. If you don’t she will find out at some point when she is older, (it always comes out one way or another) and when she does it will break her heart. She will never trust you, or anything she is told again.
Absolute joke, i wonder how many people saying when shes much older have been in this position? The amount of lies you would have to make up from a young age to cover the story is much worse than saying that her daddy met her after she was born. He was searching for his love and for him it was even more special because he found 2 instead of 1.
Questions will be asked without a doubt. Daddy what was it like for you when i was born. Daddy why are there photos of me with mummy as a baby but none with you. Daddy what was mum like when she was pregnant, why are their no photos of you both together. Mum why does facebook say your relationship started from bla year. Some of these wuestion come from as young as 3.
Let the girl and her dad build an honest real relationship from now. It will be the realest father she could have. Otherwise she could feel a loss of identity when shes told and that could be so much worse than knowing who she is from the beginning.
Only if and when your daughter questions you about it.
Best advice I can give is to Google “how to explain adoption to a 4 year old” while not exactly your situation you can take some of the tips and tricks they use and apply it in an age appropriate manner
Maybe explain that a daddy isn’t blood, it’s someone who steps up and loves her like a daddy. He may not be biologically her dad, but he will forever be her real daddy
That’s for you to decide but I will say don’t wait forever I’d say maybe when she’s older 4 to here doesn’t really matter right now she won’t understand just don’t keep it from her for ever I have a family member who recently we threw this and her mom didn’t tell her till she was in her 20 let’s just say it didn’t go well so again that’s for you to decide but don’t wait forever either
Honestly if you’re planning on getting married just let him adopt her and go on with your life. When she’s older y’all can explain it to her if it comes up but if the bio father isn’t going to be in her life don’t stress it. That’s her daddy and trying to tell her he’s not her blood at 4 may just be too much