When should I be honest with my daughter about her bio father?

my grandson (his daddy is my son, he died over 4 yrs ago). his step dad-- has been in his life since he was 1. he’s just turned 8 back last month. he always referred to my son, daddy matthew, step dad-daddy greg. it broke my heart one day (after son died) to hear him say, daddy greg isn’t really my dad. he’s my step dad and not my dad. we then talked about what a dad does for you. daddy greg is just as much of his dad as daddy matthew was. we always say, what does your mom and dad (greg) say about things. he was only 4 when my son died and came to this understanding really quick and knows greg is his dad as well as daddy matthew.


My mom told me when I was 9 bc my bio dad wanted to meet me then and it was after I met him a few times he came mowed our lawn and came to church with us a few times and then they talked and decided to tell me my step father was not biological and that the man who has been hanging around lately was and once she trusted him and he proved he wanted a relationship with me she asked me if I wanted to go and meet his family which is also mine and it’s been great ever since I’m 30 now

I told my kids when they they were older into there teens. I was blesses that they said they understiod that we didnt tell them when they were younger because we wanted them to be older and unserstand everything and form their own opinions. I think it made then love their dad( non biological) even more for steping up.

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I have a 4 and 5 year old. I honestly think it would be very confusing to a young child. I’d say 6 or 7 would be more appropriate as you would only have to explain it once. My kids right now need multiple explanations on things they find difficult to understand like death for example. At 4 they have no clue about biology etc my 4 year old thinks I laid an egg :joy: he came up with that theory on his own lol. I defo wouldn’t wait too long like the older they get the more resentment they would feel about it so defo by 7 or 8 the latest but not yet. Hope this helps xx

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From my personal experience, be honest with her as early as you think she will remember. It will scar her much more later in life. I overheard a conversation at age 6 or 7. I felt betrayed, I wish I would have been told earlier. Make sure your boyfriend let’s her know “he chose her.” Also, my advice when she becomes an adult, if you have it, give her any information she may need about her father. Let it be her chose then, not yours. My mom didn’t feel comfortable sharing that stuff with me.

My grandson calls his stepfather dad , he calls his real father by his name , my daughter told my grandson when he was 5 ,

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My sister adopted her husbands niece and told her at a young age …you can tell her this is your father but this is daddy…daddy has been the one who takes care of you since you were little
.show her a picture of her bio father. But let her know who loves her… We have a Gotcha day …thats the day we adopted her and make a big deal on that day… This is just my opinion…God Bless on your decision

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My 2 year old refers to my partner as daddy and his bio dad as dad (sometimes) he knows that one helped create him and one helped shape him.

Tell her, I found out my dad wasn’t my biological dad at 10, I think it’s best to be honest. Just refer to him as her biological daddy. As she gets older she will naturally ask questions and understand. I think honesty is the best policy personally x

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She is to young to understand right now.

I told my daughter when she was 7. I explained that mommy had a friend who helped me make her, but didn’t want to be a daddy. Then (my now husband) liked me and really wanted to be a daddy to her, so we built a life together and while he may not have helped me make her, he loves her to the ends of the world just like a daddy is supposed to.


I have a step dad who raised me they told me to young… my mom"didnt know" who he was … many lies… i kept thinking every man is my bio…my advice is be honest if she gets questions or about 12. Tslk about how he loves her and other stepped out… and youll support her

Jokes on her. I found my moms aunts bf… my dad … haha i dont even need a name because ancestry. :grin:

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He is the “real” father though. He’s her dad. Bio dad isn’t Jack shit. Tell her sooner rather than later. Tell her that he chose to be her daddy and that’s extra special.

Tell her now that’s her reality and she will never think she was lied to and she will know who she is

Introduce it early and over time more questions will come up and answer to the best of your ability. Waiting doesn’t hurt anyone but the child.

That another man put her in your belly but your boyfriend is her daddy because he was allways there and he loves her unconditionally. Don’t name the other one daddy, he s not a father.

When I was younger I knew the man I now call dad wasn’t my “real” dad…however I eventually forgot up until I was about 9 or 10…maybe even older. To be honest, I don’t know if I truly forgot and it was just that he was there…or what.

I am in the same situation completely! My daughter is also 4 and the guy she calls her father has known her since she turned 2 but is not her biological father and her real dad is a dead beat. And I have no idea how to handle it either. Nice to know I’m not the only one lol

I’m somewhat in this same predicament. My daughter is 2. She is my 3rd child. The father of my first 2 (we’re separated, but married still) decided he wanted to be my last’s daddy while I was pregnant because the bio dad wanted nothing to do with her. She loves her daddy and her daddy loves her. He sisters know the truth. I’m thinking of telling her when she’s about 6.