When should I have the talk with my kids?

Teenage parents: at what age did you explain to your kids that having sex as a teenager is not the way to go? Or at least explain the importance of safe sex? How did you explain to them that your choice to have sex young was a dumb decision even though you love them and wouldn’t trade them for anything? I had my son at 15 and am terrified of him getting someone pregnant or my daughter getting pregnant as teenagers. I really don’t want them to struggle as I did and want them to understand the consequences of having sex and possibly having a baby to care for as they themselves are still children. What can I say or show them to emphasize the consequences? Is there anything you’ve done/said to help prevent teenage pregnancy?

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Be honest and truthfull. My gram scared the crap out of me I did not have sex until I was almost 18. She did put me on the pill at 16 for safety purposes.

As soon as you know they are curious. Don’t ever make them feel bad for asking.

I grew up in a traditional Indian family and never got the sex talk. I’m 32, married, 9 months pregnant and my family still gets squeamish when I matter-of-factly speak about sexual things. Let’s be honest. I’m pregnant. I’m obviously not a virgin. Calm down. :joy::sob:

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Don’t discourage them, educate them :blush::+1:

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I printed off pics if ghonnorea and herpes. And showed my kids. And told them there are things you get rid of. And to be selective who you bestow your seed to… they’re going to do what they’re doing to do, give them the truth

I had the talk with my daughter when she turned 13! Told her when she is ready I’d rather her come speak to me first. At 14 I noticed her caring more about her appearance and became very interested in boys. I didnt bother to talk anymore and just took her to my OBGYN n got her on birth control. My second daughter just turned 14 but she is somewhat confused. Shes not interested in boys right now. My youngest is only 9 so theres no need for that talk yet. N I have no boys

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Talk to them a soon as possible don’t be afraid to tell them how it is . Baby’s are precious gifts . But the rest you explain everyone has there own way of telling them what are the consequences after .

I was very vocal. There is no need to breed. When you have a job or degree and own your own house then have kids. I told my oldest 2 to have fun travel and not get tied down young. My oldest is working on his doctorate and my second is in Grad school both will start 6 figure jobs by the end of this year. I encourage them to be selfish with their time for now They can take off and go any weekend they want I suggested at least 30 before kids

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My daughter is 13, has shown no signs of dating boys, but I still had the talk with her, let her know I would rather she wait until she is older, but also requested that no matter when she decides is best for her, to please let me know so we can go get her birth control before it happens, and she can be safe about it.

I also told her back when she was like 11, that everyone poops when they lose their virginity, I told her as a joke but she brought it up the other day and I didnt correct her. Maybe I’m a terrible person, idk :woman_shrugging:

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My twins ( boy and girl ) are 12.
I’ve had several talks about birth control, sex, pregnancy, and mastrubation with them.

Sex is a thing. It’s my job to make sure my kids are fully educated on how everything works and how to protect your body, your emotions, etc. WELL before the day ever comes they may need that info.

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Mine are 19 17 and 14 been having the discussion since my oldest was 12/13 yrs old

My mom gave me the sex talk when I was 12 I didn’t think much of it cause it was never in my mind, I was too busy being a kid but some classmates where already sexually active and I remember a girl my age ended up getting pregnant by her boyfriend at the time. Believe it or not there is a lot of preteens that are already sexually active.

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I started the conversation at age 11 with my boys. I don’t view it as a one time thing… it’s an ongoing conversation. Now my oldest is 17 and he’s known about safe sex, how our bodies work, the emotion that goes into relationships and sex, everything I could think of since he was 14ish. He just has his first gf now. My 12 year old is a bit more mature so he knows all his brother does. Don’t be judgy or scary, just give them the facts. If you ask my boys what the #1 rule is… they’ll tell you… if you tap it, wrap it lol… kind of a joke but not… safe sex is the important thing… and being mindful of the other person’s feelings.

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I got custody of my neice at 13, she has 3 younger siblings and 2 cousins that she was expected to help take care of. I just explained that I’d she didn’t want to be responsible for a baby full time she needed to think really hard before having sex because sex causes babies or STDs

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My parents always told me sex was for adults :woman_shrugging:

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My oldest was in 4th grade when he asked and I went thru everything with him. I answered his questions truthfully and never told him it was a bad thing but that it was important to pick the right person. I also told him the huge responsibility and repercussions that could be a result, STD’s and pregnancy, and that he needed to be mature enough to deal with both. Also stressed the importance of birth control use for both parties. I kept the communication wide open and bought him a box of condoms when he turned 16. He’s now 17 and he is incredibly open about everything, coming to me with questions and concerns. With my kids, telling them it’s a bad thing would have just closed the communication down and goodness knows what would have happened. This way he knows he can come to me, no judgements, and he has.

So my older 3 kids are 11, 10 and almost 9. I have explained periods, and sex and safe sex to them. I let them ask questions, and try to make sure we occasionally talk about it again just to make sure they remember that talk and see if they have new questions. I’ve also told them that when they do decide they’re ready to start having sex, that I want them to come to me so I can make sure they have everything they need to have safe sex. I had my oldest when I was 17, and while I do not regret it one bit, I also don’t want to see my kids struggle like I did being teen parents and I tell them that openly as well. I tell them I didn’t struggle because of them, but I struggled trying to live like an adult and parent when I was still a child myself and that ultimately they paid for it because I couldn’t give them everything I wanted to let alone the time that they deserved because of school and work and being so exhausted. I decided that honesty is the best policy, and to guide them to safe sex instead of doing what my parents did and saying “just don’t have sex because you’ll get pregnant and have a baby to support”

I was never given 1 talk… growing up my mom brought it up several times in age appropriate terms

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Well my oldest daughter was 13 and my son 7 when I went back to college at 32 for my Associate’s in Human Services. I used safe sex and the risks of not practicing safe sex as the basis for several papers and almost all of my public speaking class. Because the majority of my classmates were just out of high school…I wanted to use my life experiences to teach them. As a result, my kids heard a lot about it as I worked on the stuff and practiced my speeches. :joy::joy: We even had a condom tree in our living room from my 2nd semester on.

Then just before I graduated (two weeks before I turned 34), I found out I was pregnant with my now 8yo due to not following my own damned advice. Her dad and I still home with our kids that their baby sister was the ultimate PSA on why you use protection EVERY TIME and not doing so even once can lead to babies. (Seriously…we were horny 30+ year olds and stupidly thought we were safe from pregnancy…we were idiots)