My ex and I were together for three years. Unfortunately, we broke up in September. He ended up on a dating site and met the lady he’s with now. So they have been together since the end of December. When I moved out of our home, she moved in. They recently moved out of our rental and moved into a house of there own. She’s a nice lady but has started a lot of drama. Posting things on social directed towards me, she’s tried calling/ texting me. Both my ex and she are trying to force a relationship with me, which I don’t want a relationship with her currently as they haven’t been together very long and got together immediately after we broke up. She and he have made some “ interesting” comments saying there going to take my son away from me and raise him together. My ex has an alcohol addiction that now, after meetings, this lady has gotten out of hand. He has seen our son 9/29 days he’s had scheduled. We are going to court come January… I’m wondering everyone’s opinions on this. He will not meet me unless she is there. Our son is eight months old now, and I’ve tried explaining to him that it’s not in the best interest of our son to be around someone I don’t know, and he doesn’t know, and my ex hasn’t known very long. Currently, I’m not having my ex around our son now that I know how bad his addiction has gotten ( his girlfriend has told me )
Your sons well being comes first. I think you are doing the right thing for him. I would be keeping him to myself where I know he’s safe too.
With a child that young, I agree that it might not be in his best interest to be around essentially a stranger.
What are you going to court for in January?
keep a journal and document every time he misses visits and if he shows up drunk dont let the baby visit and document that too,it would help if you had an outsider there when he comes and
Baby is too young. Trust your gut mom
His alcohol addiction (if he actually has one) is something different entirely.
But as a gf to a man who had two children when i met him, with an over controlling woman (who hated me because he wouldnt go back to her).
Who kept her children away from him out of spite “for the children’s protection” when there was no need.
I was pushed out because I was a “stranger”. And it hurt, I am a good person.
6.5 years later, I’m still here, living on my own with my bf living on his own, because she refused to let me be a part of their lives, and the kids are emotionally damaged because of all the things done “for the protection of the kids”.
My advise to you…
Don’t leap to conclusions, do mediation , try and see past your pain and see her for who she really is.
Who and what your ex is really offering or can offer your child. If he is really an addict, strict visitation and assessment.
Please for your boys sake, don’t be rash. But DO safe guard his welfare.
I wish you the best and hope it all works out .
U need to keep every text and try not to go back and forth with them especially if they are causing trouble it looks better on U not to react also when U go to court your ex can get a blood test and it shows just how much alcohol his drinking def bring your concerns up about his addiction
Girl follow ur gut. If she is already bashing you over the internet and trying to play mommy even though she a complete stranger. That is a big fat no. That’s a huge red flag. Also his alcohol addiction could put the child in a dangerous situation.
Document EVERYTHING from missed/late pickup/drop off times, to every threat, to every petty little thing they do nomatter how small.
YOU are your babies VOICE when hes that small. That baby doesn’t need all that chaos in his life. Clearly his dad needs to get it together.
You are not overreacting at all imo
Tell, them both to sod off,
Well, I am going to disagree a little. Your job, as your child’s mother, is to go out of your way to ensure they have a loving relationship with their father. Your court documents should stipulate visitations. While your ex is “dating” any new friends need not be involved in meetings, exchanges, calls, etc. If, and when, the dating becomes more serious the new partner could be included in legal documents…and, at that point, I would interested in a comfortable relationship with her…it’s in the best interest of your child that you and she work together …or your child will be stuck in the middle.
Make sure to document everything and use it against them in court and maybe ask for supervised visitation before letting them be alone god forbid they steal your son to raise him
My daughter’s dad was cheating on me 7 months after our Briar was born. Not only that, but he was methed out. I stayed with him, KNOWING he was, for an additional 4 months, thinking he would change… when he didn’t, I finally got the courage to leave, and eventually he wanted to see Briar.
Knowing I would sh**, he brought his mistress to MY house anyway, and sat her down on MY couch, and visited for hours. (Bc I wouldn’t allow them alone with my daughter) I almost blew a gasket!! That was the ULTIMATE sign of disrespect to me. But she has always been good to my daughter. So I had to be the bigger person and put my hatred for her aside. I still have nothing for her, 3 years later… but I choose to get along with her bc my daughter loves her. It’s weird.
But I hope your situation gets easier for you and I pray for your strength to get through this!!
Keep him safe hun don’t let him have contact till you have been to family court they will steer you in the right direction. This situation is not easy but don’t feel pressured into something your not happy with.x
The gf doesnt bother me as such. The alcohol addiction deffinately would be my red flag and signal he shouldnt have baby unsupervised until he sorts himself out and prove he can stay sober.
Sounds like you’re a little bitter he has a new girl. Block them on social media. Eliminates that problem.
She sounds like she has mental problems if she’s nice then not nice. I would try and get sole/full custody of your son, even if it’s just temporary until they work out their issues.
I would confirm his addiction (which puts your son in danger) and if he wants to see his son it would be supervised until he proves he is fit. Eight month old babies require work and attention. I also do not believe the new girlfriend should be involved. He needs to know his son and be able to care for him alone before he puts that responsibility off on a woman who might be gone tomorrow. You also deserve to know who is taking care of your child. He may be comfortable leaving a stranger in charge of his child but as a mother you know better.
I wouldn’t say NEVER because that’s his father , regardless of who he is with , sometimes just being hurt can cause us mothers to not want them to be around the new woman because we feel as tho she will take our spot , be we will always be the MOTHER regardless of who comes in and out of the fathers life. I would give it time , and he needs to understand that u dont feel safe with the child being left alone with him drunk and with a woman you dont know. But it sounds like you arnt trying to know her, but in order for the child and father to have a relationship you might have to suck in your pride and get to know this woman because she might be around for a long time. The father needs to make some serious changes in order to be in the child life though.