So I am in the middle of a divorce right now. I moved out of my husband’s house in late February. Well, I recently started talking to another guy. I’ve known this guy for eight years, and I think he is amazing. I completely trust him. Things are going great between us, and I asked him if he wanted to meet my two kids (ages 1 and 3). He said he really wanted to, but he thinks it’s still to soon to meet my kids. He wants to wait until my divorce is completely over. Which will probably be drug out for another year because my soon to be ex-husband is purposely trying to drag it out as long as possible. I respect his decision to wait, but at the same time, I would like to know if he and my kids get along alright, so we aren’t just at a standstill wasting each other time for the next year. I guess I don’t know what else to say to him. My oldest kid knows mommy and daddy aren’t getting back together. I’ve already bought my own house. So I don’t think the kids would be confused about meeting someone else as long as my friend and I aren’t doing anything in front of them. Any advice helps!
I agree with him.
It’s way too soon.
If you haven’t even had time to get divorced yet you definitely haven’t had the time to date someone long enough for them to meet your kids.
You’re just looking for a daddy/husband replacement.
1 and 3 year old children are too young to understand the complexities of this adult problem. Won’t it be more damaging to introduce your new relationship to your kids (who are still processing a major change in their “normal”) prematurely with the risk that it might not last? From how you’ve described things, I think you need to take a step back and assess if this (introducing your partner) is something that your kids need or something that you need. Once you decide that, the answer is pretty clear.
Do not force the issue. Respect his feelings
You bought another house in the middle of a divorce? You know he will have full right to have half of that in your divorce, right? I think you’re going to have bigger issues than him not meeting your kids because you have a dumb attorney if they said that was okay to do.
Been there done that, speaking from experience…
You do whatever you feel is right for your situation with your kids! He probably isn’t thinking its going to take a year give it time enjoy time together before making things a little more complex
If he wants to wait, wait.
well he seems to want to wait so I guess you wait
It’s too soon. They’re way too young & will only bring confusion. I also think if he’s telling u he’s not ready listen to his words. Don’t rush things.
Wait unless you wanna confuse your kids & push dude away for not listening
Your being selfish. You probably have to pay for a sitter to see him and that is what this is really about. Cool you jets. If it is meant to be…
Your in the middle of your divorce and already talking to someone. Damn
I knew my now husband for years… And still waited a long time to introduce him to my son.
You arent even divorced yet?? Way too soon to even be serious about a guy nevermind introducing him to ur children IMO
I might be the odd one out but if you go the route of this is just mummy’s friend catching up for coffee I don’t see the issue. I’ve been a single mum for 10yrs and every time I’ve wanted to see how they get along with the kids I’ve always done the day out with mummy and her friend, at a park or play centre just to ensure they don’t seriously clash before getting to deeply involved. If my kids hate you then were never gonna happen
I wouldn’t say it’s too soon. If you’ve known this man for 8 years then you should definitely know him well enough to trust him. Your kids are young they probably don’t understand what’s going on very well. If you did introduce him anytime soon I would introduce him as a friend and go from there. Take it slow and don’t push the new guy to meet them if he wants to wait a little longer. I definitely wouldn’t wait another year. If you know it could be serious then trust your gut.
Let it be… no reason to rush into anything while your trying to rush out of something else.
It could be that your new man is worried about the ramifications of your new relationship with a pending divorce.
Your kids are relatively young and waiting a few months even up to a year isn’t going to change the relationship they build with him.
My kids were a bit older (10 and 12) and my situation was a tad different than yours, but it was a solid 6 months before they physically met. Start out with doing silly FaceTime calls with mommy’s new friend and allow them to meet him that way if he is agreeable.
There is a chance that he may have been through something like this in the past and didn’t work out and he’s protecting his feelings as well.
Tell him that your ex is gonna drag this on as long as possible and that you dont think that’s fair to wait till the divorce is finish.And in my opinion that would make me feel like my ex is still affecting my happiness. and meeting your kids should have nothing to do with your ex an or the divorce.
First of all they are NOT my kids they are your husbands kids:rage: and you took them so if your husband is financially able he should fight you for his kids! Apparently you’re just looking for another man so give his kids back
To soon… ur in the middle of a divorce. No need to bring ur kids into more crap they don’t need right now. The separation of households is enough till things are finalized and at least 6m to a year in the relationship