I am probably overthinking this, but I’m looking for advice on moving in with my boyfriend and how that will impact my 8-month-old daughter. My ex left me when I was three months pregnant. He was awful to me and wouldn’t put his addictions to rest for the baby or me. Since then, he has not contacted me. He moved out of state, and I have no idea where he is. He had nothing and still has nothing to do with our baby. I got with my current boyfriend when I was about seven months pregnant. He helped me prepare for her. I bought myself anything and everything I needed for her and myself. He took care of me when I was on bed rest. He was there when my daughter was born, and he’s been there ever since. I am skeptical about living with people considering how my last relationship went, but we have decided to find a place together. He sees my daughter frequently when he comes over and when we go see him. What I am concerned with is. Obviously, he is her father figure and has done so much for her, but Idk if I want her calling him “Dad” as she gets older. I am scared to death that one day when I have to explain to her that he’s not her biological father, she will not trust us or feel we lied to h,er. Or if her biological father comes back and wants anything to do with her, she will be so confused why someone else is saying they’re her father. I know this is a long way off. I feel awful that the man that loves my baby just as much as me wants to be dad, but I’m here looking possibly too far into it. Idk what to do about this.
Blood does not make a father.
Don’t complicate it. She won’t be talking for awhile so see where the relationship goes and what she chooses to call him. When she is old enough to understand you explain to her how she has a birth father that had issues but how she has a step dad who loves her as his own. Don’t deny her a father figure if that’s what your boyfriend is ok with.
Be fortunate you have someone who is willing to be there! As for the other dude his loss
Honestly I wasnt told me dad wasnt my biological father till my 16th birthday… it hurt me at first but it really didnt affect me much. Another man stepped up to.raise me and he will always be the person I consider dad…
He is her dad, therefore, she should call him dad. I would’ve put him on the birth certificate if I were you when she was born. Tell her when she gets older that she had a sperm donor, (because he was a sperm donor lol) and that her real dad isn’t related by blood but is still her real dad
I wouldn’t complicate it. There are many blended families. It is good for her to have 2 good present parents.
If he’s acting like her father then I’d never say anything if her biological father isn’t on her birth certificate he has no rights to her if you can prove he hasn’t contacted you since he knew you had the baby you can prove abandonment when she grows up if she never asks questions I wouldn’t bother to open that box if the guy your with is committed and loves her why do you need to say anything? My biological father ran off on my mother when I was born my step dad was all I ever had and considering how screwed up my biological father is Im glad I never knew him growing up
As she get older and understands you can tell her the truth remember a parent is not the he or she who makes the kid but he or she who raises the child but you can tell her the truth he is step dad also she won’t call him dad if you don’t tell her if you say here go with dad or look dad well she will start calling him dad because they go with what you teach them she will not make a word you don’t teach her
I’m shocked that you said you don’t want her to call him dad she is her dad you be honest with her as much as you can for her age my twins DNA creator has nothing to do with them he hasn’t for the past seven or eight years and my twins are 9 my fiance has been with them for the last five years and I am proud that they call him dad but they also know a little bit of their DNA creator
I feel truth is in long run when she’s older getting married etc. Explain as her stage of life can understand she has a father by birth but a dad was there before she was born
My 2 oldest girls bio dad has never been around I met my ex husband when they were both little and he has always been their dad. They know about their bio dad but they also know he wasn’t there and they have a dad who stepped up when he couldn’t.
Kids are simple and understanding. I left the bio dad when my daughter was 2. She has not seen him since. She is 7 now and knows about him. Bit she calls my husband now dad. That’s Dad, dad is the one who takes care of them. Doesn’t matter if the are bio or not.
Same situation. Call your boyfriend daddy. He has proved himself and that’s exactly what a daddy is. Screw the biological father
A parent doesn’t have to be blood a person who is there for them in all the ways that matter
Wait to see if she choses to call him dad. Just because DNA doesn’t match doesn’t mean that’s not her dad
She will call him Daddy, dad, dada, whatever, as she starts out talking, that’s all their little brain knows. As she gets older, and is capable of understanding, you can explain it to her, who he is. She’s not gonna feel betrayed. Maybe confused why her real dad didn’t want her. Confused if he comes back around. But she deserves to have a father figure in her life. My step dad came in my life when I was 5. I haven’t seen my real dad since 7th grade. My step dad IS my dad.
Have her call him daddy “his name” that why when shes old enough to ask why do I call him daddy “his name” you can explain because hes like a father to you but not your biological father that way your not lying to her he is a dad to her but not her only dad and not her bio dad just a option at the end of the day you need to do what you think is best for your baby not what any of us think you should do.
Kids understand things more than you think always be honest about who he is to her if she chooses to call him dad or whatever it may be let her do it on her own. I promise you, you wouldnt think they understand it but they do with time and as long as you are honest and open about the true relations there from the start there will never be any deceit in her eyes. My son has called my now husband daddy since he was about a year old his bio dad has been in his life on and offish for the majority of that time my son knows who each one is but to him they are both dad but he also knows (step) dad is the one who does so much for him. My son is 6 now I have always been open with him about everything
You’re lucky. Not a lot of men step up to a pregnant woman and stay …
If he loves you and baby then awesome!