Would I be the bad guy if I told my sister-in-law that I couldn't watch her kids anymore?

I’m almost 23 and have three boys and one on the way due in September. My SIL called me about two months ago saying she needed a sitter because her other one got injured and couldn’t care for her two daughters anymore. I said id help as long as I could, but it would be tough seeing as how I barely keep food in the house. At first, she sent baby food for her youngest and snacks for the oldest, and I cooked dinner every night. She stopped for whatever reason, and I was now trying to feed breakfast lunch and dinner to 5 children and whatever snacks they wanted. I was supposed to get around 5o every two weeks when she got paid but didn’t end up seeing anything. I let it go because I know she needs help. She is well aware I’m pregnant and knows I have a high-risk pregnancy, so I see my dr often. I tell her when my appts are and the last one she told me I was putting her where she could lose her job. I told her I was sorry, but I do have things I have to do also. My husband works full time, and our car couldn’t handle all five kids if I had to go somewhere, and I can’t carry an 11mo and 15mo baby at the same time plus hold the 7 5 and 4 yr olds hands. My husband told me to tell her I can’t do it anymore because its a stress to me and the baby, but I don’t want to leave her hanging if she truly doesn’t have another option. I don’t want bad blood between me and any part of his family… What should I do? Would I be the bad guy if I tell her i can’t watch them anymore? Thank you for any advice you have to offer


She’s a grown adult she can find a babysitter you need to take care of you and your children first tell her that you can’t watch them if she’s gets mad let her beside she wasn’t paying you so you can’t afford to feed all of them think bout yourself and your health


I would tell her you need the things she stated she would give you to do it or you couldn’t anymore. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.but if it’s your sister in law and your husband wants you to stop he should have that conversation with her not you

I don’t think you’re the bad guy at all. You have your hands full and you helped her for 2 months. No need to stress yourself and you’re family financially. I’d just give her two weeks to find herself another sitter.


Nope give her 2 weeks notice that you are done


Uh, hubby can talk to her and deal with it.


No. You have a family to care for and that is your priority. I feel like shes talking advantage of your generosity and you’re to kind hearted to stand up for yourself. You have to say something…


You’re nicer than I am. I would’ve stopped that a long time ago. I’d help as much as possible, but you stated that in the beginning with her; “as long as you could”. Well, now you can’t anymore and it’s impeding on your own life/health and your unborn baby’s health. She should’ve been looking for other options this whole time, knowing your free childcare was temporary. Also, expecting you to feed 3 meals a day to 2 kids on top of your own kids is CRAZY! She’s taking advantage of you, your husband, and the situation. Just my opinion :woman_shrugging:


I don’t believe in lying but tell her the dr told you not to be babysitting. I totally agree with your husband. Give her a 2 week notice like Jeana said.


She should be taking care of her own children, and she obviously only cares about herself seeing as she can’t even supply food for her poor kids… tell her you love her kids but you need to put yourself and your kids first now.

While I feel sorry for her children, It’s clear your SIL doesn’t respect your situation.Nothing wrong with you setting boundaries and hope you do so especially with you having a high risk pregnancy and your own family to consider.

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This was supposed to be temporary. She was short changing you on payment as I can 100% guarantee she was paying the other sitter more. She should have been looking for a permanent nanny. You need to say that she has 30 days to find a new sitter, and that you also can no longer afford to feed her kids.


Tell her to find daycare asap your unable to continue. Better yet that’s your husbands sister tell him to say something

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No, just explain that it’s getting to be too much and you’re tired. She’s been pregnant, she should understand. Maybe let her know she has a few weeks to find someone else. But give an end date and see how she takes it.

You and your kids come first. Shes not paying or helping with food. Tell her to kick rocks.

Tell her now give her 2 weeks to find someone else


I would make your husband talk to his sister for you. She clearly isn’t respecting you and it sounds like she’s taking advantage of you. But, it might be easier to get it fixed by having her brother talk to her than yourself.


Be the “bad guy” and put your little family first. You will not regret it. She’s taking advantage of you financially and manipulating you because she can. Stand up for yourself and your children.


Um that’s your husbands job to talk with her !!


Your family’s needs come 1st. End of story.