Would it be wrong if I raised my daughter as my boyfriends?

So I have an almost two-year-old, and a one-month-old. They both have the same father, but when I was pregnant with our second, he cheated on me kicked me out and had treated me like shit since, calls me a stupid bitch on a daily, blocks me for days or even weeks on end and has me co-parent with the chick he cheated on me with, I and she surprisingly get along so it’s whatever… but he hasn’t been involved with the baby at all, my entire pregnancy he didn’t ask how it was going, told me I ruined his vacation by sending him an ultrasound picture of her, wasn’t involved in her birth, and even after I sent pictures of her to his girlfriend he never reached out to ask any questions about her, if she was healthy or even okay, absolutely nothing, and even a month later has still not asked anything about her or seen her, and he literally comes to my home every Friday and Sunday and won’t even look at me. He plays on his phone until I’m done putting our older daughter in the car. He still active in our older daughter’s life; he takes her every weekend. Now my question is, I met a man when I was pregnant, he helped me my entire pregnancy, he came to every appoi,ntment with me, he talked and rubbed my belly all the time, he was with me during her birth and cut her Umbilical cord, and treats her as if she was his, would I be the bad guy for not telling Her about her dad and just raising her as my boyfriend nows daughter? I don’t ever want to explain why her dad takes her sister but not her; I never want her to question anything about him. She doesn’t deserve to hurt over him. All she’s going to know is my boyfriend, so why would I teach her different.

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Why don’t you petition the court for your boyfriend to adopt her?

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You have an amazing man. This is what true love is.

Woah … that so called dad needs something really really hard between his eyes …
I feel for you ! You seem to be very strong . I’d ask if your boyfriend is interested in adopting the baby ? Maybe relinquish that goofs rights … if not take him for child support that little baby deserves something !

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I wouldn’t lie. It might come back later to bite you. Also, the relationship with your boyfriend is still new, he may be absolutely amazing with her but that doesn’t mean it will last. If it doesn’t last he might decide that he doesn’t want to play dad any more.

If you’re set on him being dad, and he is too, try to get your ex to sign his rights away so your boyfriend can adopt her. That way, at least, he is actually her father by law and he can’t just walk away without taking care of things.

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You got this hun! You don’t need your boyfriend to stand in. It’s great if he does, but I’m just saying your girls’ father doesn’t want to be a dad and you sound like a great mom. Stop dealing with his girlfriend as she probably won’t last.

As much as you want to protect her now you have to consider how many factors would go into it now of who may eventually tell her the truth or somerhing

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Why are you coparenting with the woman your ex disrespected you with? He needs to grow up and coparent with you or not parent at all.

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What you need to do is stop him from seeing your oldest child and settle this out in court. The older child isn’t stupid and knows that’s not your boyfriends kid. You’re only going to create a monster down the road if you start lying now and purposely let him separate your kids. What he’s doing is abusive towards you and the children. They’re not toys, you don’t get to pick a favorite and only play with that one

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Isit possible he doesn’t believe the baby is his and thats why he acts like that? Also he may want her when she’s older because while she’s young he can’t really take her off as she needs you most

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Slippery slope—If your older daughter is still going to be involved with their father, the truth WILL come out! It’s better to just be honest. Lying to your children is never a good idea, it will only create mistrust and animosity between y’all in the future. My mom told me my dad was deceased most of my life. I was 15 when I found out he wasn’t and that he just didn’t want anything to do with me— I felt soooo betrayed. Not by my biological father because I couldn’t have given two shits about a man I’d never met— but my moms lies cut deep and caused a lot of issues in our relationship. Just some food for thought

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God bless him. My boyfriend now fiance. Is the only father that my daughter knows. She’s now two. I would make sure of the man before you decide on this. It is going to be weird if one day the dad actually wants to be in her life.

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Definitely do not lie! It will be a long while before she will understand anything other than love. Your boyfriend can 100% raise her and be her dad, but lying about her genetics will eventually cause problems.

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Being a father isn’t by blood. So, do what you gotta do, to protect your daughter. :heart: If this man is willing to step up to the plate, and love your daughter like his own, you got a great man by your side. You can always tell her later on when she is old enough to understand.

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Girl… if this is how it is with your baby girl you have every right to try to shelter her from the years of pain he will inflict on her by choosing to be in one daughters life but not the others…
However, He knows he is the father and can use that against you later when she is much older and tell her. Do not lie. It will bite you in the ass. You need to tell him either he parents both children or go to court to have his rights taken away. And if you are concerned that he may be abusive in any way,shape or form towards the youngest one…voice that to a judge. Your boyfriend sounds amazing and I am sure both your daughters will notice this and come to love him. As far as adoption I would at least wait until you are married to this man.

I wouldn’t lie to them if you two break up it would be confusing to the oldest I mean are your kids going to call every boy friend you have dad

My daughter has no idea who her real "father"is he held her once 3 days after she was born and has never seen or asked to see her since. I met a man when I was 8months pregnant and he is her father he has raised her like his own since before she was born. So I’d say no let your gf be her dad and if the other man wants to be that to her some day then you can sit down and tell her what went on and let her make that choice. I wont ever tell my daughter unless somthing happens that i have to tell her.

Sad excuse for a father but, have you done a DNA to prove it to him, that way when child does ask (if new boyfriend leaves then what?) U can show her the test and let her ask him y? Never forget all things that are done in the dark will come to light

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Don’t hide the truth. It’s going to be worse in future when she finds out. Let her grow and when she old enough to understand then explain. He may want to take her for visits when she’s older and you can’t tell yourself out of that

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Be honest tho. You don’t want to lie like that. That could destroy your kids trust in you.

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