Would you let your SO's parents buy your kids presents if they aren't in their life?

Would you let your SO’s parents buy Xmas presents for your child if they’re not involved in their life? My SO’s parents texted him asked him what our daughter would like for Xmas. I feel like I should tell them nothing, that she would like their time instead. Am I wrong for wanting that? They were in her life as a baby, and now she’s a toddler (with ASD), and they never ask to see her. What should I do?


Well we are in the middle of a pandemic, so there’s that. So for about the last 8 to 9 months, I think they have a good excuse…


Maybe you should talk to them about how you feel and set something up with them. Take baby steps maybe they feel like your not comfortable with them around? Just communicate and see what happens.


Hell i want to tell my own son’s “father” that for years now . But if their absence is due to the pandemic i would as well consider that a pretty good reasoning


Suggest activities for them to do together instead of gifts and see what they say


I feel like to those saying “wElL wE aRe In A pAnDeMiC” that doesn’t mean that they couldn’t call the child, FaceTime or ask to see a picture for Pete sake. If you want to be a part of someone’s life, you are. Period. As far as my answer, i feel like i would explain that she won’t understand getting a present from a stranger at this point so unless they wanna play Santa, no thanks.


I’ve been in the same boat with “in laws” and me personally really wants to say dont bother but for my children’s sake I allow it. Cant let personal, adult issues impact your kids


Okay soooo… Maybe they dont know how to react with your kid? Is he/she verbal? Theres a lot missing to this in my opinion… If your kid is non verbal… Maybe they dont know how to act… Talk to them? Find out why they are absent and go from there.


Tell them how you feel. You never know, they might feel you wanted them to stay distant. If they still want to send something let it be from Santa. If you just don’t want your child to have a gift from them, let them send it and then you can always donate it to another child or organization. There will be so many without gifts this year.

I think if they want to give their grandchild a gift, let them. They don’t need anyone to explain 2 them that they should spend time not $. They are adults. Besides then you’ll never have the guilt of depriving them or your child. Just my opinion. Good luck :grin:


Let them buy her something. Its not for you.


I’d just be glad they thought of her. My daughter is 13 and her grandmother and aunts and uncles live directly across the road and not once have they ever bought her a birthday or Xmas present

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My mother in law doesn’t try to be involved AT ALL. I’ve tried for years, even said I would find something else to do while she spends time with my husband and our son. She doesn’t call, text, doesn’t send or ask to send any gifts, anything. But she’s quick to say how im keeping them from her and horrible of a person i am sooo :woman_shrugging:.

Take the gifts and let it have their names on it and not Santa. Include the gifts in your yearly photos and videos of gift opening. When your daughter is old enough to understand she will see that there’s no memories of these people and the random gift from them was just that, random.


Let them spend their money and your kiddo gets some gifts. Make sure to tell them the really expensive ones you don’t wanna buy, so it saves you :man_shrugging: :wink:


Let them do what they can you never know what’s going on and they did raise their own so technically they’re no longer obligated to spend their time… doesn’t make it right but who’s to say they are wrong :woman_shrugging:t5: children know what’s going on allow her to make her own decisions about the people in her life…of course when the time comes…no one is her mother but you so no one will ever love her like you as long as you’re there who cares about who isn’t… and one more gift on top of many never hurt a kid :woman_shrugging:t5:

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I would make them get her the most expensive gift you can think of.


People shouldn’t have temporary spots in our kids’ lives. If they don’t wanna be continuously in their lives then drop them. Many people may not realize but going in and out of a child’s life leaves a mark.


My father isn’t in my life, but tries now that I have a daughter to be a “grandpa” and honestly… we call him papa Brian so it’s casual ( just in case he decides to leave again) but kids are kids, and loving is loving even for a short time. As long as they aren’t creating a negative impact in any way this far I’d allow it. However I wouldn’t allow them so close as to let her miss them

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That’s how I would feel. I would be honest about how you feel.

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No you’re not wrong at all stick to your guns ive been dealing with that sort of.thing for years

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