Would you still take your kids on vacation if they don't listen?

Would you take one of your kids on vacation knowing they been going behind your back doing stuff they aren’t supposed to? It’s in 20days! She’s 14&thinks she’s grown. She just got suspended from school a couple of wks ago… It was bad! Not going into the subject, but We got her a year ago when. She got taken from her mom. Nothing is working. She constantly is taken shit and acts like it’s no big deal, grounded her. I’m at a loss. Done took her stuff away as far as electronics.

24 Likes

Maybe therapy might help her

7 Likes

Nope. I cancelled xmas for my son because he wasent taking school seriously!

2 Likes

The vacation could be punishment for her lol. Having to be in close quarters with everyone.

7 Likes

Obviously don’t know the circumstances around you getting custody of her a year ago but being taken from your mom at 14 will be and is traumatic!! She’s goig through a lot and acting out to get help. Grounding her,taking her things and not allowing her on vacation will only make things worse. She should have been put in therapy a long time ago. Make sure you guys have a secure bond before disciplining her, especially right now.

49 Likes

Beat her fucking ass

Don’t change plans BUT. Giver her a warning about her behaviour and “MAKE IT CLEAR” that if she misbehaves leading up
To the trip the consequence is that she’s gonna be staying at home with a sitter! (find someone and keep them on stand by) I did this to my kids(like 10 years ago when they were younger) going to Niagara was a Big Trip. They were being Brats the few weeks leading up to March break. I had no issues with dropping the older 2 at their dads and the youngest 2 with my mother for the week we were going to be out of town. They wised up pretty quick when I implemented a “count down clock” with 4 hands with their names on it there was a red zone- no way you coming now Yellow-Ok so you probably are gonna behave but show me you can. and Green- :+1:t3:looks like you changed you attitude and are willing to behave for the trip.

2 Likes

Um, cancel her vacation… and go without her! Send her to grandma’s or wherever while you are gone.

1 Like

I would definitely put her in therapy if she was taken from her mom. My step sons mom lost custody of him, he has been with us 6 days a week for 5 years. He has been in therapy and it helps so much. Especially she being ripped from her mom at such a hard age, the age you need your mom the most as a young woman. Therapy will do amazing things

3 Likes

It sounds like since being taken away from her biological mother she’s been acting out, probably because she can’t properly cope with what she’s feeling. I would suggest therapy for her in order to get to the route of her outbursts and anger. I know at that age I was a handful to say the least because of the stuff I was dealing with in my family circle at the time. That being said, if you guys go on vacation and decide to leave her behind she will most likely feel left out and unwanted and may regress more.

7 Likes

No. Vacations are supposed to be fun and relaxing.

1 Like

Shes probably stressed to the max if she’s a foster kid. She probably hasn’t relaxed in years. She needs someone she can talk to, without judgment. Sounds like she is stuck in the flight or fight mode. The last thing she needs is punishment that severe.

12 Likes

Pretty sure there’s no better punishment for a 14 year old than spending time with their family without their phone

10 Likes

Oh look… another evil stepmom who wants to play mom and dictate how to raise someone else’s child… for fcks sake this teen has been through enough! She is literally crying out for help and all you seem to do is hand out punishments. How about counseling/therapy to help her sort out her feelings? Or you know, push her away even more since it’s obvious you don’t like her.

3 Likes

I’ve been working at a school for a few years now, and have 4 kids of my own, I’ve learned the kids that are the hardest to love, need it the most. she may feel like she has nothing emotionally left to lose, and just needs that extra love. maybe do a planned date with her. hair and lunch. or even her picking a movie to watch with you. she could use something to look forward to. hope this helps

10 Likes

Leave her ass behind. PERIODT!

Life sounds like it hasnt been easy for her, give her something to enjoy. Let her go, she will remember and be thankful someday.

6 Likes

I mean you dont take your step kid on vacation none of your *my kids would/should be going… leaving children out of family events is not only punishment but its abusive.

Get her and the family some counseling. There are free and sliding fee places all doing online or over the phone places

6 Likes

She has already been ripped away from her mom and your solution is to isolate her from her dad and siblings?

6 Likes

Absolutely not! Do not take her. That is a privilege to go and if that’s how she wants to act than she doesnt need to go

2 Likes