There’s a hilarious Twitter account that collects bad Amazon movie reviews and you need to read these awful hot takes right now! Hat tip to the folks at BoredPanda for turning us on to one of the funniest Twitter pages around. @AmznMovieRevws has an eye for finding the most absurd opinions posted on Amazon.
As they say, “everyone’s a critic,” but that doesn’t mean that everyone should be. Most of the tweets are of one-star reviews that totally miss the mark. We decided to find some of our favorites to share with you. Here are 25 dumb movie reviews as collected by your new favorite Twitter obsession.
The Wolf of Wall Street. pic.twitter.com/tpA5syzMVG— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) December 16, 2014
How could Martin Scorsese overlook this? What a crying shame.
Gangs of New York. pic.twitter.com/XV5g2Go5oh— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) August 20, 2020
Well, that was unfortunate. Always check that MPAA rating.
Makes Jack a Dull Boy
The Shining. pic.twitter.com/Y1T0gaXNKG— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) February 7, 2020
We feel like “rude” is a bit of an understatement. Does this person consider attempted murder as just impolite?
Trolls World Tour. pic.twitter.com/zqUKsgpx6T— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) July 17, 2020
Do you ever leave a full bio in your online reviews? We suppose this individual needed us to understand the context.
We All Love Elisabeth Moss
The Invisible Man (2020). pic.twitter.com/LVH8ulKzFz— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) April 28, 2020
Yes, Elisabeth Moss is great in that movie. As for the other lead, he remains to be seen.
Parasite. pic.twitter.com/FADE9loXiL— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) April 27, 2020
We feel personally attacked by this review. So what if we do!?
Who Needs Arthouse Fare?
The Lighthouse. pic.twitter.com/sdZfR1uGSX— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) February 12, 2020
All we can say is, Mr. Andy Parting tried to save you from yourselves. He gets employee of the month.
What Is Time?
Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope. pic.twitter.com/yCLH4i24hp— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) February 11, 2020
The film was released in 1977. That new hope we wanted died along with this review.
People Really Hate Reading
The mind reels. The brain melts. What’s so hard about subtitles?
Cats (2019). pic.twitter.com/Y34k3zSv39— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) January 22, 2020
There’s a lot to unpack here. There’s some psychosexual thing happening here that we’ve just decided we’re not touching.
Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman
Little Women (1994). pic.twitter.com/bLkLAt2n0E— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) December 31, 2019
This person has no time for the coming of age portion of any narrative. We think Zach might have missed a little something here.
First Man. pic.twitter.com/9VGX5spfmA— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) December 19, 2019
Here’s what the movie description on Amazon says: “First Man, the riveting story behind the first manned mission to the moon, focuses on Neil Armstrong (Ryan Gosling) and the decade leading to the historic Apollo 11 flight.” Just going to leave that there.
Where’s the Lie?
Home Alone 2. pic.twitter.com/IKpDVDYzah— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) December 20, 2018
Kevin really did have a twisted sense of justice in these movies. If only Harry and Marv would have realized in the first movie.
They Stayed in Kansas
The Wizard of Oz. pic.twitter.com/PKf13tAnQw— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) December 4, 2019
Who’s going to tell them? How did they not know?
There’s a 5th One?
Home Alone 5: The Holiday Heist. pic.twitter.com/vvPK8Z1JIe— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) December 3, 2019
We had no idea the Home Alone franchise extended beyond two films. Hollywood must have dug deep into the wells of practical pranking to fill the HA cinematic universe. By the time the 5th installment rolled around, they must have been all out of swinging buckets.
A Question for the Ages
Aquaman. pic.twitter.com/3rYYN8hmsJ— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) November 20, 2019
We took this review to heart because we agree. Why wasn’t Jason Momoa costumed in a speedo or brokini for the entirety of this film!? What a waste.
Taken 3. pic.twitter.com/8UwztJuowN— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) November 19, 2019
If you keep asking yourself, “why does this always happen to me?” The problem might not be external, it could be you.
I’m in Sales
These reviewers were hoping to see some real closers. The only thing more exhausting than this movie is the commentary around it.
Take the Super Out of Superhero
Avengers: Endgame. pic.twitter.com/y6wqZzmZyC— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) November 13, 2019
This person was not having the concept of a superhero movie! We honestly cannot blame them.
They Came for the Book
Where do we start? Let’s just not.
Not for Disney Fans
The person perilously dangling from a snow lift must not have tipped them off! Does this look like a cover for an animated fairytale for children to you?
We Beg to Differ
Pet Sematary (2019). pic.twitter.com/oEt7o2IOLC— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) October 29, 2019
Did this person want more dead, zombie animals? We love animals as much as the next person, but we think they might have missed a major plot point.
35 Years of Exploding Shark Experience
Who has seen seven sharks “destroyed by being blown up?” What line of work is this person in???
There Will Not Be
There Will Be Blood. pic.twitter.com/zIp6yZMSFl— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) October 17, 2019
A keen observation. Nate was thirsty for it, but he got oil instead.
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Ari Aster Would Be Proud
Hereditary. pic.twitter.com/nyWzbWSWwq— Amazon Movie Reviews (@AmznMovieRevws) September 3, 2019
At least we all saw the same movie. “Don’t smoke and watch!” has got to be the best one-star movie review ever written.
There you go! We hope you enjoyed these bad takes.
Andrew is a Chicago-based writer who enjoys finding the best of the internet, obsessively making lists, and cooking for friends. After studying Film and Art History, he developed a deep love for both topics. Celebrity news, pop culture, and stories that bring people together are his passions.
- 1 Oh, Boy.
- 2 The Teacher
- 3 Makes Jack a Dull Boy
- 4 Not Trolling
- 5 We All Love Elisabeth Moss
- 6 A Read
- 7 Who Needs Arthouse Fare?
- 8 What Is Time?
- 9 People Really Hate Reading
- 10 “My Paws”
- 11 Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman
- 12 Astute
- 13 Where’s the Lie?
- 14 They Stayed in Kansas
- 15 There’s a 5th One?
- 16 A Question for the Ages
- 17 Questionable Parenting
- 18 I’m in Sales
- 19 Take the Super Out of Superhero
- 20 They Came for the Book
- 21 Not for Disney Fans
- 22 We Beg to Differ
- 23 35 Years of Exploding Shark Experience
- 24 There Will Not Be
- 25 Ari Aster Would Be Proud
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