230 Best Dirty Pick Up Lines That Are Funny

Warning: This content of this article is meant for people who are 18 years of age or older. Please, use these pick up lines responsibly and respect the boundaries of others. Thank you!

Welcome to the best 230 dirty pick up lines we could find on the internet. We’ve taken the liberty of organizing them for you. Whether you’re ready to break out from the Covid lockdown, are a Star Wars nerd, or just want something raunchy, we have a little bit for everyone on this list. And without further ado….what’s your favorite dirty pick up line?

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The Pandemic Pick Up Line.

Come on! We needed to start with the topic that has consumed our lives for the past 15 months. Now that we’re coming out of lockdown and getting back to normal, let’s reflect on what dating was like during the pandemic., especially with masks and toilet paper shortages. There’s nothing like a little good, clean fun…pandemic pun definitely intended.

 I used to be really anal about Covid, but I’m vaccinated now, so u single?
 Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket, or are you just happy to be within 6 feet of me?
 Contagious smile. Infectious laughter. If looks could kill, you’d be COVID-19.
 Are you the Coved vaccine? Because I’d never turn you down
 Want to come over? I have toilet paper?
 Since all the public libraries are closed, I’m checking you out instead.
 Wanna play Coronavirus and get spread on hard surfaces?
 “I’ll be the carrier, you’ll be the virus”
 Wanna get closer than 6 feet?
 “Well, we both have disinfected our hands, sooooo…”
 Wanna drink sanitizer and kiss?
 If Covid-19 doesn’t take you out, can I?
 Restaurants and bars may be closed, but I’m open for business
 I want to see you wearing only disinfectant.
 Is that pneumonia in my lungs or has your smile just left me breathless?
 “I like my COVID like I like my women; easy to spread “
 I like my Coved, like I like my women, 19 and easy to spread
 Are you an N95 mask? Cause I want you on my face
 “I have 60 rolls of ultra-soft toilet paper” Girl: “I have been wiping with my hand since people like you bought so much so make it 3-ply and you’ve got a date, bud.
 Do you have any essentials that need servicing?
 “Are you ready to receive a big stimulus package?”
 Hypothetically speaking if you were a restaurant who shut down dine-in, would you let me pick you up at the curb? See you tonight?
 The government says we need to stay 6 feet away but I want to give you 6 inches
 Can I take you with me and work you from home?
 Hey baby are you covid-19? Because I feel you inside me tonight.
 “I’ve already had it, so if you’re sick we can still f#$%”
 Girl, do you have Coronavirus? Cuz you look freaking sickkkk.
 I can provide you with some vitamin D while in Quarantine
 Single man with toilet rolls would like to meet single woman with hand sanitizer for good
clean fun.
 Hey girl, why don’t you come over to mine, while we flatten that curve we can gently rub
hand sanitizer on each other while watching the roaring toilet paper fire in my backyard.

 Call me Covid-19, because I want to be inside you.
 Baby do you need toilet paper? Because I can be your prince Charmin
 I’m just a girl, standing 6 feet away from a boy. Asking you to maybe move back another
foot.

You May Also Like: 300 Jokes For Kids To Brighten Up Anyone’s Day

Trump pick-up lines.

We decided to stay on current events. Since #45 won’t leave the news cycle, we couldn’t leave him off the list after all his claim to fame is grabbing women by the pu@#$!. We should never forget how YUGE his hands are either. Depending on the recipients’ politics, one may get slapped or lucky when using one of these lines.

 Has anyone ever told you that you look like my daughter? It’s a compliment, trust me.
 It’s okay, I don’t need to see your birth certificate.
 Is your ass ISIS? Because I’m gonna destroy it
 I wanna Putin my penis in your mouth
 Just like the word Latino, I’m enjoying using you for the first time
 If you’re not Mexico why is there such a wall between us?
 I’d go south of your border even if it meant I had to fight murderers and rapists
 You’re too beautiful to be real, just like global warming
 “Honey, you put the ‘fox’ in FOX News.”
 “Hey good lookin’, could I buy you a drink to wash down that handful of hydroxychloroquine?”
 “It would be a damn shame to cover that pretty face with a COVID mask.”
 “Oh baby… I’m going to go down quicker than a confederate statue in a candy-ass liberal
state!”
 It’s Yuge. You’ll love it, let me tell you!
 I was looking around the room thinking about who I’d like to sexually assault, and you’d be
my first choice.
 Damn girl, are you CNN? ‘Cause I can’t even believe you’re real.
 I’ll treat your panties like Jeb Bush and make them drop very fast
 Don’t worry, the carpet doesn’t match the drapes.
 Bring your crooked Hillary over here, I’ll straighten it right out.
 You know what they say about big hands.

Your favorite pop culture dirty pick up line.

We couldn’t build a list without favorite cult classic characters from movies, shows, and books. From fantasy to fairy tales we bring you epic pick up lines from all your favorite characters and series. I mean, is life really worth living without applying a Harry Potter filter to it?

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The Star Wars Dirty Pick Up Lines

May the force be with you when you use these dirty pick up lines on an unsuspecting subject. Whether its a dirty light saber joke or a nasty Darth Vader suggestion, sticking with tried and true references is always great a way to get the right attention.

 Yoda one for me
 Tonight this Han doesn’t want to fly solo
 I’ve got a Boba Fettish for you
 Is that a lightsaber in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
 I can make you breathe harder than Darth Vader.
 How can you be from an ice planet when you’re so Hoth?
 I may not be able to feel the Force, but I wish I could feel you.
 I could spend a millennium in your falcon.
 I may not be Luke’s father, but I can be your daddy.
 It’s cold outside, baby. Let’s play Empire Strikes Back. You can be a Tauntaun, and I’ll
get inside you.

Game of Thrones Dirty Pick Up Lines

No one beats Khaleesi in the dominance of men, that’s why we start with her in our GoT series pick up lines. Whether you know nothing like Jon Snow, are a scoundrel like Little Finger or prefer your steel to be Valyrian, these plays on words are sure to get any pop culture fanatic engaged in conversation.

 Show me your dragon and I’ll make it spitfire.
 Are you a traitor to the crown? Because I can definitely see you giving head to my pike
 Girl, my finger is the only little thing about me.
 Hey girl is your name winter because you’ll be coming soon
 Are you my direwolf? Because I can definitely see myself taking over your body.
 I may know nothing, but I know you make my penis harder than Valyrian steel
 Did You Know, my penis is made of Valyrian steel.
 They call me King of the North, but I’d go South on you
 I may be an imp but I never go limp
 I’ll stick you with my pointy end

Harry Potter Dirty Pick Up Lines

Whether you love Harry, Hermione and Ron, magic or Quidditch, these Harry Potter pick up ask the sorting hat which is your pick up line. We put the slither in Slytherin so call Ollivander’s to claim your magic wand.

 I’ll show you my golden snitch if you show me your magic wand
 Are you a Snitch? Because you’re the finest catch here.
 Your willingness to discuss Harry Potter with me increases the probability that I’ll let you
Slytherin my chamber of Secrets and that’s not the butter been talking
 Did someone just say wingardium leviosa or are you happy to see me?
  Wow, when I said “Accio hottie,” I didn’t expect it to work!
 The Sorting Hat has spoken, and it says I belong in your house.
 Call Ollivander, because I think my wand has found its master.
 I don’t need accio to make you come.
 I’m not wearing an invisibility cloak, but do you think I could still visit your restricted
section tonight?
 I can be your house elf. I’ll do whatever you want and I don’t need any clothes.

Hunger Games Dirty Pick Up Lines

May the odds be ever in your favor when you use these lines to get some attention. It doesn’t matter whether your a Katniss or Peeta fan or whether you support the district rebellion make sure you pick the right line for your audience. Any of these lines are equally likely to get a slap in the face as a drink bought for you.

 Are your Katniss Everdeen? Because you’ve got my district in an uprising
 Just say my name and I’m yours for the reaping
 I’d love to show you my 3 fingered salute
 Meeting you tonight proves the odds are ever in my favor
 Is that a Peeta in your pocket or are you just happy to see me
 Your arrow looks just the right size for my quiver
 Are you Peeta Mellark cause your muffins are hot
 Girl, is there a bloodbath in your cornucopia? If not I’d like to rush in.
 I’m down to effie.

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Princess Bride Dirty Pick Up Lines

We can all reminisce about this ultimate classic and feel like Princess Buttercup with these pick up lines. More than just ROUS’ can be of unusual size – remind your man of that and make him feel special. It’s sure to pay off!

 I’ll be your farm boy if you’ll be my princess bride
 There is a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours
 Wanna have some fun storming my castle?
 I’ll show you why they call me Miracle Max.
 Let’s put the ‘hump’ in ‘Humperdink’. Too wuv you would bwee a dweam wifin a dweam.
 Let’s just say the rodents aren’t the only thing of unusual size.
 Want to see my Fezzik? And by Fezzik I mean my giant.

Disney Dirty Pick Up Lines

Hands down, Disney movies and characters have some of the most crude pick up lines on this list. LOL. As we read out kids stories at night, we can imagine all sorts of nasty about Pinocchio, Cinderella, Woody and Buzz. Use one of these on your husband after he’s put the kids to bed and it’s sure to spark some excitement at home.

 Hey, are you Cinderella because I can see that dress disappearing tonight
 Hi, I’m Andy. Wanna play with my Woody?
 Give me a Woody and I’ll make you Buzz for light-years.
 You can call me Nemo because I’m gonna “touch the butt.”
 You don’t need a spoonful of sugar to make me go down.
 Things are much better down where it’s wetter
 Hey Jasmine, does the magic carpet match the drapes?
 I can make any fairy moan…All I need to do is Tink’er’bell.
 Sit on my face and ask me to lie…What? You’ve never been Pinocchio’d?
 Hey Beauty, can I introduce you to my Beast?
 Have you ever tried anal, it’s A Whole New World.
 Hey, my name’s Mickey and there’s nothing Minnie about me.
 Let’s play Pinocchio. You sit on my face and I’ll tell you lies.
 I’d really like to Poke-her-hontas.

Super Hero Dirty Pick Up Lines

Who wouldn’t be swooning with a Tony Starkesque guy trying to pick them up? Can you say Thor? or Batman? Yes to all please! That’s why super hero pick up lines are definite closers. They’re raunchy, funny and guaranteed to make someone laugh.

 You must be worthy because you can totally lift my hammer
 Is that Mjolnir in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?
 They call me spider-man because I can get you all sticky
 When I’m done with you, you’ll be singing God Bless Captain America
 I call him Little Deadpool. He breaks down the fourth wall and your bed.
 What has 142 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
 My metal suit isn’t the only reason they call me Iron Man.
 Ever gotten a telepathic orgasm from a man in a wheelchair?
 I think your clothes are made of Kryptonite, we’ve got to get rid of them
immediately.
 Iron Man is red Thor’s hair is gold now get on your knees and do as your told
 I’m Batman

Girl dirty pick up lines for guys.

We’re a mom site so we needed some girl power in the mix. After all, moms need action too, right ladies? Try any one of these on your man or your entertainment for the night and we are sure you’ll have an eventful evening. What guy doesn’t want to get hit on by a girl?

 I’m just a kiwi who eats roots and leaves.
 You’re just like a wine tasting. They say to spit, but I always prefer swallowing.
 FYI, I’m a beer powered sex machine
 Do you like to eat Mexican food? Because you’re heating up my taco
 Do you want to give me an Australian kiss? It’s like French kissing but down under.
 Are you a rainstorm? Because you’re making me dripping wet.
 There are no seats, can I sit on your face?
 You look like a hard worker. I have an opening you can fill. Wanna play Army? You be the enemy and I’ll blow you away.
 Is your dad the muffin man? Because you sure do give me a banana cream filling.
 What is better than a rose on a piano? Tulips on an organ.
 Am I on an episode of Fixer Upper? Because I’ve never seen hardwood like that in real life.
 My doctor told me I have a Vitamin D deficiency. Wanna go back to my place and save me?
 Ask me why I’m so tired. It’s because I’ve been kegeling all day.
 I’ve got the buns. Do you have the sausage?
 You want to melt in my mouth or in my hand?
 You know what would make your face look better? My legs wrapped around it
 How do you like your sausage in the morning? Scrambled or blown?
 I hear you’ve been a bad boy. Now go to my room!
 If I told you I worked for FedEx would you let me handle your package?
 Now I know why they call it a beaver. Because I’m dying for your wood.
 What kind of Uber are you? Long or short rides?
 Nice package. Let me unwrap that for you.
 Your penis would be so lost without my vagina
 Is your name highway? Because I want to ride you all night long

Rose are red pick up lines

Roses are Red….You can’t build a pick-up line list without a little poetry. We decided to go basic yet classic with our favorite Roses Are Red pick up lines. Let’s see what some budding artists came up with to woo their victims.

 Roses are red, violets are blue. An ill wind is blowing, let’s hope you will too
 Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun get in the fucking van ( my personal favorite)
 Roses are red weed in greener, I think of you and I touch my wiener
 Roses are red, violets are blue. You are a psycho, but I am still in love you.
 Roses are red, the earth is wide, you would look much prettier, with me by your side.
 Roses are red, violets are blue, if I were you, I would desire me too.
 Roses are red violets are cheaper if I leave some silent voicemails please do not call me a
creeper.
 Roses are red violets are blue, all my dirty thoughts involve you
 Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m suing my hand and thinking of you
 Roses are red, violets are blue. Poems are hard like I am for you
 Roses are red, pickles are green. I love your legs and what’s in between.
 Roses are red, lemons are sour. Spread your legs and give me an hour
 Roses are red. Violets are fine. You’ll be my 6. I’ll be the 9.

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The just plain raunchy for no reason pick-up lines. Many of these are oldies but goodies.

The Academic Dirty Pick Up Lines

Nothing speaks dirty pick up lines like the double entendres of being a school nerd. These academic references take art, science and history to new levels for adults only. Whether you got an A or an F on your report card you’ll ace these jokes with whomever you lay them on.

 At school, I just wanted an A. With you, I just want to F.
 Fuck me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
 Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a large bone for you to examine.
 I was never very good at algebra but I’m pretty sure U + I = 69
 Do you like to draw? Because I put the D in raw
 There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus
 “The human body has 278 bones. How would you like one more?”
 Are you science? Cuz I want to put you on a table and do you, periodically.
 With school, I just want an A. With you, I just want to F.”
 “I may not go down in history but I’ll go down on you.“

The BJ requests

The title of this sections speaks volumes. These are bold and to the point and there is no nuance here. Before you use one of these, you’d better make sure you know your audience.

 I’m not much into sunsets but I’d love to see you go down
 Hey, honey are you a termite? You about to a mouth full of wood
 If I flip a coin what are my chances of getting head?
 My dick’s been feeling a little dead lately. Want to give it some mouth to mouth?

The Food References:

These delicious pick up lines take being a foodie to a whole new level. It doesn’t matter if you’re into fast food, have a sweet tooth or love your microbrew ales because we have the epic quote that’s sure to get a response.

 Is that a keg on your back because I want to tap that ass
 Was your dad a baker? Because he’s got a real nice set of buns
 They call me coffee because I grind really well
 You can call me, cake, because I’ll go straight to your ass
 If we were both squirrels would you let me bust a nut in your hole
 Did you sit in a pile of sugar because you’ve got a pretty sweet ass
 “I’ll be Burger King and you be McDonald’s. I’ll have it my way and you’ll be lovin’ it.”
 “Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!”
 Damn girl, you’re thicker than a Krabby Patty with extra Tartar sauce
 Are you a soda? Cuz I wanna mount-and-do you.

The catchall bucket for the really wrong dirty pick up lines that you don’t know what to do with:

We had too many great pick up lines that need to be share but don’t fall in any category so just read, laugh and share on us.

 Guy: I have a magic watch and it tells me you’re not wearing any underwear. Girls: Yes, I
am. Guy: I guess it’s an hour fast
 I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
 Do you mix concrete for a living because you’re making me hard?
 {Guy wipes face with napkin} let me dust you off a place to sit
 Do you know what I like in a girl? My D.
 Hey, what’s your name? Remember my name because you’ll be screaming it later.
 Hey girl that outfit looks great it will look even better on my floor in the morning
 I love your dress, it’ll look great on my floor in the morning
 “I think my phone is messing up it doesn’t have your number in it”
 Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you check out my package
 The ocean is full of fish, but you’re the one who bends my rod
 I’m not a cop, but could you spread ’em anyway?
 So glad I found you, I was getting tired of masturbating
 Will you be my girlfriend? I’ll give you the D later
 Let’s play Titanic. You be the iceberg and I’ll go down
 I’ll kiss you in the rain so you get twice as wet
 Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of semen waiting for you
 Let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down
 What is a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
 I lost my keys… Can I check your pants?
 Hey beautiful, my doctor says I’m missing vitamin you
 1,2,3,4, I declare a tongue war
 Are you a haunted house because I’m going to scream when I’m in you?
 “You look great right now. Do you know what else would look great on you? Me!”
 “What did you say your name was? I want to make sure I’m screaming the right name
tonight.
 “Nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?”

 “You’re on my list of things to do tonight.”
 Do you have pet insurance? I think you should get some because I’ll be banging that pussy
tonight
 I don’t know your mama but you can call me daddy
 Do you know the difference between me and this chair? It feels better to sit on my lap
 Is your dad a terrorist, cuz you’re a bomb!
 “You remind me of my little toe. I just know I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture I
own.”
 I am always on top of important things would you like to be on the list?
 do you like to party then crawl up my leg and have a ball?
 That shirt is very becoming on you. Tbf I’d be coming if I was on you too.
 “If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up”
 The FBI is looking for my dick, can I hide it in you?
 Damn girl, I can’t tell if you’re dead or alive. Either way, you’re coming over tonight.
 Wanna play house? You be the door and I’ll slam you
 My couch pulls out but I don’t.
 I just shit my pants, can I get into yours?
 Let’s play carpenter. First, we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you
 I’ll ride you like the Titanic. Ending prematurely and seaman in every direction
 Is that a mirror in your pocket, because I can see myself in your pants.

Like we stated earlier, please be respectful of others, but also, let us know if any of these dirty pick up lines end up working for you! Have responsible fun!