A mom writes in asking for advice about her relationship with her boyfriend. She says her boyfriend is great — not abusive, a good father, a supportive partner — but she is still not happy with him. She is wondering if she owes it to their 6-month-old daughter to stay with him, despite the fact she feels like starting her own life without him.
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A member of the community asks:
“My boyfriend is amazing but I am still not happy: Advice?
My boyfriend and I had been dating about 2 months when I found out I was pregnant. We now have a 6-month-old daughter, but I’m not happy. I don’t want to be with him, but he’s a great guy and an amazing dad!
If we were fighting or he was abusive this would be an easy answer but he literally does everything to make me happy and provide for his family. Do I owe it to my daughter to keep our family together even though I’m not happy? We’ve been in quarantine together for a month and I’m just over it, I want to move out and have my own life.”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Whose Boyfriend Is Amazing But Who Is Still Unhappy and Thinking of Leaving
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“You should leave. He deserves better.”
“People would kill to have what you have! Im also blessed with an amazing husband and father to my kids! You sound like you just wanna live the single life! Well i promise you one day you are going to regret that decision! But him and your child deserve better! Do them both a favor and just go!”
“You won’t always feel happy. Love is not just feeling, it is part choice too. Leave the kid with him, because all you will do is jump from relationship to relationship because you will never ‘feel happy.'”
“I think its just the circumstance and quarantine and post partum.. I’d give it awhile until after all of this and then have a conversation with him if you’re still feeling this way, to see if it’s something you both can work on together, if it is then that’s great for your family, if it cant be fixed then that’s okay too. But wait and try..”
“Yes, you owe her to try and make it work. Just saying I’m not happy is selfish. Is anyone really happy? No, it takes work.”
“Breaking up your family during this time is absolutely an awful idea, especially because you aren’t happy. As a single mom, I can tell you, it’s not easy, especially right now.”
“Love is a CHOICE. It’s not a feeling. You’re never going to find someone who always gives you butterflies, sunshine, and rainbows. You’re new parents in a relatively new relationship. You’re also in quarantine. Now is NOT the time to sacrifice your relationship because you’ve decided you’re bored with him. We’re all bored honey. This IS the time that you make the choice to love even when you don’t feel like it.”
“You would be doing your daughter, your boyfriend, and yourself a disservice by staying with someone who does not make you happy. He may be Mister perfect in your eyes, but does not mean he is your mister perfect. Feelings change, and you should not stay with anybody just because they’re a great person. You will know when the right person comes along.”
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