A mom writes in asking for advice about her boyfriend. She says that her boyfriend of six months, whom she hasn’t seen recently due to the ongoing pandemic lockdowns, is constantly following and unfollowing his ex, who also happens to be the mother of his child, on Instagram. She has tried to ask her boyfriend what it means, but he just tells her not to worry about it. Should she be concerned that something is going on?
A member of the community asks:
“Should I be concerned that my boyfriend and his baby mama are constantly following and unfollowing each other?
I have been seeing someone for six months, but due to the coronavirus, I haven’t been able to see him. He and his baby mum are constantly following and unfollowing each other on Instagram. If I try to speak to him, he just tells me there’s nothing to worry about. I think I know the answer, but I don’t want my insecurities to ruin this, but I also don’t want to waste my time. Please advise.”
Community Advice for This Mom Whose Boyfriend Constantly Follows and Unfollows His Ex on Instagram
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“There are literally unresolved feelings. They unfollow to try to hurt one another and then don’t want to fight anymore so they go back to each other, aka follow each other. If this keeps happening and he is still denying it, you should just leave. Save yourself the time that you won’t be able to get back.”
“They have a freaking baby together. Expect contact. If he LIKES you and you like him, trust him and get over that insecurity. If you can’t, date someone with no kids.”
“They ain’t over each other. They’ll play games w each other like it’s a drug. Save yourself and move on!”
“Back and forth is never good. At the least, it’s highly emotional drama. At the worst, they’re romantically going back and forth.”
“I want to say they have a child together so they need to communicate, but the whole follow / unfollowing sounds highly toxic and full of too much drama.”
“All I’m going to say on this is you could post ‘my boyfriend didn’t buy me the right flowers for valentine’s day’ and you’ll be flooded with responses from women telling you it’ll never get better and ‘RUN SIS!’…
… I’m also not saying there’s no reason to be concerned, but there’s no reason to panic either. Tell him to knock it off. Have a conversation about it with him. Be an adult. Have a talk. Gauge your next move based on THAT.”
“Following each other is fine since they have a kid together so they need the contact. Although the constant unfollowing and following sounds dramatic and attention-seeking. How’s their relationship? Are they able to co-parent for their children or is there still something more under there?”
“Leave it. Never get involved with someone that fresh out of a relationship. Say bye. Cut your loss find someone better. Not worth the fight that far in. There is nothing there. Leave. I wish I did!!!!!!!”
“As you said, you already know the answer. They’re still hooking up. Don’t waste your time. Block him for good until you end up being his second baby mother.”
“People put too much weight into social media these days. They will ALWAYS be in contact because they share a child. The following and unfollowing could be nothing more than small disagreements between them about parenting. I’ve blocked and unblocked my daughter’s dad before because he pissed me off.”
Do you have any advice for this mom? Leave a comment to help another mom out!
Over on the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, our robust community of moms is always having a conversation about topics that matter. We like to highlight those conversations from time to time. Important mom questions. Thoughtful mom answers.
Do you have a question you’d like answered? Submit it to the Mamas Uncut Facebook page, and we may feature it along with some of the best answers on this site! You can remain completely anonymous while still getting the information and support you need from other moms who know what it’s like.
Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.