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QUESTION: My Boyfriend Is Demanding I Delete All Photos of My Ex/My Son’s Father: Advice?
“I broke up with my son’s father 2+ years ago. I took down every picture on social media that we had as a couple, or of the three of us.
I am in a new relationship now. My boyfriend is demanding that I delete all pictures of my ex’s existence. I have pictures of my son with his father because no one will ever replace his father, and to be honest; I feel like I don’t need to go through every single album to remove them.
Am I wrong and insensitive? Or is he overreacting? I really don’t know how to feel about it.”
RELATED: Parents Are Emotionally Controlling Their Exes In The Name Of ‘Social Distancing’
Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“Your new boyfriend needs to grow up. Yes, you’re no longer with your son’s father but your son will want those pictures of him with his dad one day when he gets older. I honestly wouldn’t delete those pictures… those are memories for YOUR son…”
“… my new boyfriend is insisting that I keep pictures of my ex. Not in a relationship capacity, but in a family one. He says it’s important for my son to know he came from love.”
“This new man seems insecure and immature. Set your boundaries and don’t let them be negotiable.”
“He’s overreacting. Find a guy who is less insecure. That’s your child’s father. He needs to get over it.”
“Major red flag. He’s the father of your child, nothing will erase that. Keep those pictures for your son to have when he gets older.”
“From my perspective, I’m on the other end of the story. Been married to my wife 13 years now. I came into the picture with two of my own kids, she had two of her own and we have our youngest daughter together. Her ex is now a good friend of mine and considered family. Never have I expected or even considered that she should remove any of her past histories, and she has never with me…
… Believe it or not, my ex is even now one of her close friends, so both our ex’s are considered family and part of our lives, our kids are absolutely happy with the situation and we have zero animosity with each other. In the end our kids are the absolute winners as are we. People need to understand that when people have kids together they are now bound together good or bad, I’d suggest making the good choice and choose for your kids not yourself. In the end, if you will only hurt and damage our kids far more than ourselves.”
“Please don’t delete them. My mom had every reason to get rid of every picture of my dad, and when he passed I was SO HAPPY that she kept them for me. Tell your boyfriend to grow up or get out.”
“No you’re not wrong, he’s being very insecure and overreacting. It’s one thing to take down the “couple” photos but the ones with your son shouldn’t be deleted. That’s still his father, regardless of who you’re with and always will be. If anything, these are photos and memories that you can give TO your son when he’s older for his home. I found old photos of my fiancé with his ex and their first born son (my stepson) and yea a small part was a little jealous because I’m human…
… You know what I did though?? I put them up safely in my stepson’s room so that I could get them framed for them to have pics of their mom and dad for their bedroom. Because at the end of the day the ONLY thing that truly matters is those babies. And believe me, I can’t stand that woman but I love those boys so their well-being will always be first.”
“I am divorced and I would have a photo of my children with their father on their bedside table especially when they were young. If he is not compassionate to the role your ex will always have in your children’s lives you may have to ask him to move on. Your children’s well-being and needs should be placed above his ego. It is important that your children can see their father as a part of their lives always not just when they are with him. How would your child feel if he gets the sense he shouldn’t talk about his Dad because your boyfriend is around and might get jealous? Your BF is being extremely childish.”
“This seems quite overbearing to me. You have a past whether he likes it or not, & your child deserves to be able to see photos of his real bio parents together & know he was created from love, even if you aren’t together now. Take a long hard look at this new relationship, because these are the red flag warnings of a controlling & possibly even abusive relationship in the future.”
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